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Leviathan is a long thin sword; it has a golden hilt with glittering silver writing carved around the grip. Along the blade a small pattern of waves are seen close up, in the waves if you look even closer you can see the water god leviathan. The blade shines a light blue which most don’t relies. As the sword is in action the waves if you watch them seem to move and so does the creature hidden amongst them. As the battle wages on the blade will turn into a deeper more solid blue, and at command it will be covered from hilt to tip in boiling water. The water rolls around the sword in a fluid motion making a figure of eight around the blade. It does not burn the owners hands but burn’s anything else it touches. The water is dark glittering silver, and is easily seen in the dark. The sword is to be used with due care and attention as past users have used it for evil. The sword will give the holder increased resistance to heat and is also able to be submerged in a lake and still burn brightly. There is also a weak spot to the sword as there is for everything, unfortunately for the user of the blade the magic will shorten their life span and is also weak at the joint between the blade and the hilt if attacked with such a force at this point the blade will snap and become useless. It also takes quite a while to master the blade properly.
The Sword Leviathan
By:
The weapon has elvish writting on the hilt, which describes the power of the blade and a warning to whomever may use it. the main users are elvish warriers and members of a royal family as it is normally handed down a family line. The blade is made of platinum which shines mother of pearl and when commanded to it can submerge itself in boiling water which can get up to 110 degrees. The attacker can not withstand the blade near them or on there skin, as the blade enters the body the boiling water will burn them from the inside out within a matter of seconds.
July 13, 2005, 9:44
May I also suggest you review the use of semi-colons and periods.
The item itself, after wading through this, had promise. Though it has video-gamish roots, it could be used in a campaign. A bit on the high end of the power scale without any limitation. That is a detracting factor.
I am not voting for this until you at least try and edit it.
July 13, 2005, 14:00
I'd definitely change the name to something more "British", because the british will boil about damn near anything. ;) Maybe you could call the sword "Nigel" or something, that's a prototypically "British" name... ;)
July 13, 2005, 14:08
The write-up needs serious reworking - my teacher in the second grade of elementary school taught me to divide a text into introduction, body and conclusion. Perhaps you could try this?
Other than that, a sword of boiling water might be interesting.
July 13, 2005, 17:30
July 13, 2005, 19:52
If that wasn't a typo, one would have to wonder who the creator of this item is? Is it Hefner the Eternal Boy of Play? Perhaps Sir Mixalot of the Scratched Platters, who knows...
July 13, 2005, 20:15
Sorry, couldn't resist.
July 14, 2005, 12:09
Do a makeover Callista.
July 15, 2005, 20:06
July 15, 2005, 20:13
July 16, 2005, 4:18
You can make Raman Noodle Soup on the spot.
July 16, 2005, 11:13
1) This is a world wide site, so the English needs to be standard English so people who have English as a second or third language can understand the post. (So sure the natives can understand it, but someone from Austria might have a problem.) We are not asking for nor expecting perfect English, but we are asking for you to strive towards that as a goal.
2) Our non native speakers are typing in standard English, why can't you or the person who posts? Note: Even the posts in different languages here tend to be proper or standard in their diction and idioms.
3) Unlike most sites which come and go within a year or three (when their owner loses their url or free hosting), this site endures. That means every post is a legacy to future gamers. That is why every posts needs to at least be of a quality of expression equal to that responsibility.
July 26, 2005, 17:51
March 16, 2006, 3:30
October 29, 2007, 16:00
Second of all, I'd like to add some of my thoughts on this item:
- The boiling water thing isn't that cool, and I doubt it'd really be that bad anyway, I think you should change it to superheated water magically prevented from becoming gaseous.
- You really need to edit it and make it easier to read. Add some flowery language, please.
- Talk more about the weak points of the sword. Is there a way to repair it if it breaks? Explain how it shortens it's user's life. Does it cause any other health problems? Maybe a constant mild fever, to reflect the sword's nature?
- Explain it's origins. If elves made it, why? To combat an ancient monster that could only be killed by being boiled alive from the inside out? Something like that would be nice.
March 16, 2012, 7:47
Seeing how this has gone by the wayside and may have some promise, perhaps I'll take up the torch and redo it; ala The Bone Bow I did a few years back. Rehash this old sub. We will see.