Melee Weapons
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ID: 5839


July 13, 2009, 3:25 pm

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Staff of the Zythumancer


The Staff of the Zythumancer can bring the most helpless alcoholic into the embrace of sobriety or turn a tetotaller into a useless drunk with a simple tap to the head.

This staff was created by a travelling wizard, a master of Zythumancy who was fed up with the way some of his friends would get roaring drunk in taverns and then either start a huge brawl, or just have a horrible hangover in the morning. It took several days and a sacrifice (not of the human kind) to the God of Wine to complete, but when it was finished, a touch of the drunkard’s head was enough to draw the alcohol’s effect out of him or her and leave the person stone cold sober without even the hangover to go through. 


Whilst not intended as a weapon, the wizard was attacked from behind one day by a would be brigand whilst he was carrying the staff. He fended off the brigand’s club and struck him a glancing blow on the head with the staff, whereupon the brigand staggered and fell into a stupor, drunk out of his mind, allowing the wizard to escape.


If used to sober somebody up by touching their head, the staff can be used with even the most glancing of headshots to render someone else drunk, as drunk as the person who was healed was before being made sober. It works best when the drink that made the person drunk was beer, removing all ill effects from the overindulgence. With wine and spirits it will still make a person sober, but causes a massive hangover to the one who over indulged.


To an extent it will work to heal someone effected by a sleeping potion/sleeping pills as well, but it was not meant for that so the person will still be affected to a far lesser degree for a few hours.


Should it be used to cure someone of drunkenness and then someone else of the effects of a sleeping draught/pills, and then used in combat, the effect of a headshot will be potentially lethal, as the affected person will most likely fall over and throw up and unless their airway is cleared out, they will quickly choke and die.


It must be said, making someone drunk who you are fighting may not always have the effect you want-instead of making them pass out and fall over, it may lower their skill in combat but beef up their stamina, as they will not feel pain so much and will need many more hits to put away/kill. In a few cases, particularly if used against certain tribes of Dwarves, it can even make them more dangerous in the short term. It could also cause them to do stuff they would not do when sober, like pulling a knife when they would if sober prefer not to use weapons if possible because of fear of being caught by the local law enforcement and punished.


Also, it only lets loose it’s effects either to heal or in combat, if the head is touched, although only the slightest contact is needed. Otherwise a blow from it will do no more damage then that from a sturdy stave. (in game rule terms, the user could either strike as normal, or strike for the head with a higher dice roll needed to sucessfully make contact, causing no harm to the opponent if the attack fails.)


Contrary to rumour, it cannot turn water into wine or vice versa.


Also, it has as many *charges* per day as people it has been used to make sober on that day. Once they are all used up, it must be recharged by making one or more drunk people sober.

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Comments ( 6 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Fallen Angel
July 13, 2009, 20:58
Only voted
Voted Fallen Angel
July 14, 2009, 3:27
Only voted
Voted valadaar
July 14, 2009, 11:34
Not bad - but again, you are using too many run-on sentences. Read your sub aloud to yourself and they should stand out clearly. Generally you want to explain one idea with a sentence.

Voted slartibartfast
July 14, 2009, 13:28
Very cute idea. Good point about it probably having an inverse effect on some dwarves.
Voted manfred
July 15, 2009, 17:26
Hah! Gets my little laugh for the day.

Simple, direct, logical, silly. All good things to have.
Voted Maggot
July 26, 2009, 8:47
It is quite a neat item. Something that a low to mid level adventuring party might find both fascinating and useful as long as it dosen't get them into scrapes. If you could conceal it well enough, you could even use this to publicly disgrace a powerful and influential enemy.

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