NPCs
Major
Combative
1.13
4 Votes

-3xp


Hits: 4606
Comments: 5
Ideas: 0
Rating: 1.125
Condition: Normal
ID: 970

Submitted:

Updated:
December 13, 2005, 6:19 pm

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Pakint

By:

He is 972 years old and has a wife. He congregates with any good creature and will help any one in need. He is a good black smith and can work with most meterials.

Special Equipment:

He has a ring of protection +2

Appearance:

Silvery skin, green eyes, and brown hair. He is 5’9” tall and weighs about 163lbs. He wears a disquise when fighting other evil dragons so as to get an element of surprise. Most other times he wears normal clothes.

Background:

He first became a platinum knight after being sent on a mission by a gold dragon in the guise of a wealthy noble who he there after discovered and plegged his loyalty to. Her name was Zudin Shius. He has taken many an adventure with her to rid the world of evil creatures. He spends most of his time fighting Tiamats minions. When not doing that hes practicing magic, sword fighting, or spending time with his wife.

Roleplaying Notes:

A platinum knight is basicaly a palidin type caracter that helps good aligned dragons fight evil. Blacksmithing is a side hobby that he uses to get money and repair his equipment.



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Comments ( 5 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

CaptainPenguin
April 15, 2004, 18:16
0xp
So...Is he a blacksmith or a "platinum knight"?
Is this what passes for a backstory? Really?

1/5.
MoonHunter
April 16, 2004, 3:10
0xp
Okay, PenDragon... once more from the top.

Spelling, Pass. Punctuation. Fail. Capitalization. Barely pass. Grammer, Fail.

Have you been reading any of our advice on your characters? Before you post again, could you please look over a few four or five star characters to see what we are looking for.

Your characters have potential, they are just so badly executed that it is annoying.

First: We need to know enough about the character to incorporate it into our games. If you add something that is not generic (Platinum Knights for example), you need to explain it.

Your Appearance listings are too sparse. Your description defines a serious chunck of population rather than an individual because it is not well defined.

Second: Characters need enough history/ background that we can understand their motivations. This is like listing Aragorn as "A prince who reclaims his throne after years of being away." There is not enough here for us to understand how interesting your character might be.

Character descriptions should flow logically, hit a main point in chronological order, fill it out with some details, move on. The formula is simple. Use it.

This character comes close to meeting our gold standard: "Is the character well developed and interesting enough as any character in a good fantasy novel (that is not a WotC/ TSR campaign novel)?" If you could not see this character being a major character in a novel, then it is not ready to be posted. Add more details and develop its history a bit more.
Voted Mourngrymn
November 2, 2005, 13:38
Only voted
Voted Drackler
April 4, 2006, 17:30
0xp
Alright, I'm not exactly the best poster, but I can see some problems with this one. Namely:
1)His race, what is it?
2)As Moon said, the platinum knight thing.
Voted valadaar
January 14, 2014, 10:54
0xp
Not the greatest for sure, but there is the germ of something here.


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

       By: Raptyr

Nine times out of ten, it’s the undead that do the running.

Not strictly animal or vegetable, the Corpse bud is a peculiar individual that shares characteristics from multiple kingdoms and species. In appearance, all corpse buds bear a shape of a large rounded top bud divided into four lateral segments, and a much longer, narrower bottom bud, also divided into four segments. Between the two halves are a set of four radial limbs, rounded on top and flat on the bottom, covered with tiny serrated hooks facing towards the body. In overall size, it’s limbs reach as wide as a spread hand, with the body being as thick as a fist. It is as long as a human hand from top to bottom.

Internally, the top bud of the corpse bud contains a bacteria filled membrane that produces the hydrogen that the corpse bud uses to stay aloft, and a series of fungal gills for the dispersal of spores for reproduction. The lower half of the bud contains a number of fine filaments, as well as a sharp barbed stinger containing a powerful local anaesthesia.

The Corpse Bud mobilizes by inflating its top bud, and steers by rotating its arms rapidly about its body. The corpse bud ordinarily drifts with the wind, orienting towards the scent of recent decay and death. It preys on the recently dead, burrowing the lower bud into the victim, using the anaesthesia in case the victim is dying, and not truly deceased. Once embedded, it releases its filaments into the body, replacing the current nervous system. This gives it full animation of the body, and allows the corpse bud to direct it.

Corpse buds are not a malevolent species, being primarily concerned with breaking down the host body for food, and infecting the reproductive cycle with spores in order to mate with other corpse-bud bodies. To preserve the corpse for this purpose, Corpse buds will seek out dry locations to prevent bacteria from destroying the corpses. This often causes a large number of corpse buds to gather in a single location.

In culture, Corpse buds are used to repair broken spines or degenerative diseases, as the sentient mind will easily overcome the mind of the non-sentient corpse bud. Once infected by a corpse bud, however, removal is usually fatal, and the infected individual cannot reproduce, or risk infecting another. Thus, it is a technique often reserved for the elderly, or a last resort.

Necromancers and other dark sorcerers will often preserve the corpses of their victims magically, and infect them with corpse buds, creating traditional undead as well, so as to seed their lairs with undead both offensive and non, in order to throw their enemies off balance. They will also enslave the rudimentary minds of the corpse buds, and transform the docile things into a plague. There have also been accounts of magically transformed corpse buds with stronger minds and a taste for living flesh, but thus far all accounts are unproven rumors.

Ideas  ( Lifeforms ) | October 12, 2011 | View | UpVote 3xp


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