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4.06

9 Votes

33xp

ID: 777
Hits: 3567
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.0556
Condition: Normal
Submitted:
October 6, 2004, 4:38 pm
Updated:
February 16, 2007, 1:29 pm


HoH not available due to level or sub is not 10 days old
Last Stand
By: Jak_O_Lantern_King

Who would have thought a key would be this big?

Through the plains lands of Ahmin, run three rivers, the Ratterlin, the Brahmalin, and the Krimin.  From the west, the Krimin runs trickling from the Frozen Mountains, becoming a mighty river at King’s Rock plateau.  The Ratterlin flows from the East originating at Thunder Forest, where the rains and lightning never cease.  Brahmalin, the mightiest river, flows from the north.  With the river head in the Mandrigi Desert, this river simply comes up from the ground, but with such force that a geyser of the river’s water can be seen from miles rippling in the desert’s heat, with a steam cloud billowing up to the heavens.
All three of the mighty rivers meet at a single point, Infren Indre, or Infren’s waterfall, where the three might rivers pour over the cliffs into the pit of Infren in a cacophony of liquid power.  Where the legendary warrior mage Infren is purposed to lie imprisoned. 
Above this chasm sits the metropolis of Last Stand.  Older than the people who live there, the city itself is the final key imprisoning Infren.  Little is known about the true origins of the city but everyone knows the evil Infren seeks to destroy it.  Every 10 to 20 years volcanic magma explodes from the pit attempting to char the city.  Protected by the gods, a force field of some sort protects the city, though it scorches the surrounding plains, known as Everyoung.
The truth of the matter is that the gods imprisoning Infren are the gods of death, destruction, and deceit, and Infren was actually an angel, made human to fulfill the prophesies of Lod.  Sent to destroy the evil ones, Infren was imprisoned in the pit and the city created to prevent his escape.
The Evil Ones are masters of manipulation and story telling.  Nobody knows the city is evil, believing the Good Gods created the city to contain an ancient evil.  And they take their job to fanaticism.  All who attempt to get close to the final key are seen obviously as evil and tortured until they are dead.
Given some minor level of sentience, Last Stand knows what happens within its walls, and can alert militia when someone gets too close to anything the evil gods do not want known.



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Comments ( 7 )
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Scrasamax
2004-10-06 10:07 PM
0xp
I really like the description of the geography, with the three rivers coming together in a giant waterfall. The image of the Brahmalin erupting from the desert is an lasting one in my mind, and I can see all sorts of things living in the steam.

I think I would like to know more about how the battle came about that imprisoned the angelic, and why it has been so corrupted without the forces of good making it right, or at least trying to make it right. I also like the ambiance of the city becoming self aware of its purpose, and alerting the guards by various methods. I think that the character post of the Living Gate would fit very nicely into this setting, with an evil semi-sentient living city serving as a ward over a waylaid angel.

Nicely done, but more details would really help it out and bring it to its full potential. Otherwise,

4/5
CaptainPenguin
2004-10-06 10:22 PM
0xp
Details, details- the devil's in the details.
But I like it. The three river convergence is cool, and I like the idea of a titanic waterfall. Don't have enough of those.
I also like the plain named Everyoung- maybe it's called that because it's constantly being reborn (as in the lava remakes it)?

4/5.
Jak_O_Lantern_King
2004-10-06 10:30 PM
0xp
Well captain you nailed Everyoung on the head, ah and as for details, much more of this is to come, Infren himself is in creation as well as the history of all that led up to this. Also, all the aforementioned areas will most likely be evolved into a world or part of atleast
Voted Mourngrymn
2006-07-17 04:26 PM
0xp
I love the idea of evil protecting itself against good, portraying it as being good vs evil.
Voted Cheka Man
2006-07-17 08:21 PM
0xp
Evil rarely sees itself as evil. 5/5
Voted valadaar
2007-02-16 01:22 PM
0xp
Go big or go home! This is a very interesting location!
Voted Murometz
2007-02-16 01:27 PM
0xp
It is...the description of the geography, as others have said, is quite atmospheric. I'm whisked away to another world after only a few lines. Obviously, this cries out for more(!), but even as is, it manages to create a lasting impression. Nice!

A post fully exploring all the dropped hints and tangents, would be awesome!

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Rakda- These goatlike animals, who have shaggy coats and layers of scales, are good retainers of water. They are close relatives of Suppoki. Their meat is considered a delicacy in many countries. No desert tribesman leaves his settlement without a Rakda.
By: CaptainPenguin | UpVote

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