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NPCs
Minor
Combative
1.81
13 Votes

-8xp


Hits: 4422
Comments: 8
Ideas: 0
Rating: 1.8077
Condition: Normal
ID: 1126

Submitted:

Updated:
January 19, 2007, 6:14 pm

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Demitri Elexial

By:

Madness is in everyone but is only shone through the ones who expose it and hidden by those who fear it- Demitri

Special Equipment:

Silver hilted bastard sword with four compartments in the hilt where he hides four throwing daggers. Ebony Longbow with a quiver of forty steel-tipped arrows. Staff made of Jakil wood with a rapier embedded into it. One hunting knife.

Appearance:

6’2, well-toned, forest green eyes tinted with a gold color. Moderate size. Sharp elvish features in the face; high cheekbones, slanted eyes, and pointed ears. Skin complexion is a dark mahogany but with with a slight tint of green. Jet black hair with two thick strands of braided platnium hair. A four foot tail coming out of the end of his spine with a single spike at the tip that releases a paralyzing poison. Two glands that is imbued into the saliva that when spit upon causes a numbing feel while burning the skin. Two slits of skin right between the shoulder blades, two inches apart. Inside are two special organs that release wings; wingspan is twelve feet.

Clothing

A dark forest green robe that holds a hood with a gold fringe at the end. Ends at mid thigh. Wears under it black pants with a brown leather tunic underneath. Black leather boots.

Background:

Born in a small nomadic hamlet, Demitri’s mother died giving birth to him. During his childhood, he was considered an outsider towards all the other wild elves. Being that he was a very unfortunate mix-breed rarily heard or seen in most of the lands. His father being a green forest dragon, whom no one in his tribe told him the real name other than their tribal name, which was “Great beast of the Trees” but his mother’s name was as beautiful as she was,“Elizabeth Elexial”. While growing up, Demitri was treated like he was inferior by few and then again superior to many of the elders who thought of him as a half-god. He was never allowed to play or talk to any of the children in the tribe, but instead of trying to do so and break his own commited rule he trained twice as hard as any of them. Soon coming to the age of fifty he was beginning to be called a “man” among the people they began to show some trust and equality towards him and he began to walk among the rest of the tribe without someone stopping and bowing every five seconds.

At thirty he was was sent to the Kadlin West Acadamy where he learned basic knowledge; geography, mathematics, science, literature, learned to speak trolloc and common tongue. He was the top in his class and was elected as school representive where he was able to travel to other cities and towns.

As he reached the age of sixty-one Demitri was starting to look like an actual nineteen year old. He was also considered handsome among their woman elves. Handsome and mischevious to the elders always seeming to get himself into a load of trouble. Once having been caught in the act of shaving one of the elder’s head.

At the age of ninety-eight he was now considered a man among them being able to “better” any of their finest warriors along with ones from neighboring tribes. Soon they began to let him enter tournaments in Abasil. Archery contests in which he would come out in the top two. Also being an excellent swordsmen he would take up any challenge that was thrown his way.
Being among the best of the warriors on his tribes many lands he had few more abilities than any other. Being able to see farther than any elf and human at most without magic. He has the sight of a dragon, being able to fly and jump as high as thirty feet up and thirty feet forward, back, side to side. He also has the ability to sense if there is an assassin or any secretive attacker. He has super fast speed and movements, and can change his voice with ease. He can also control all of his special abilities including his acid and numbing spit. And being and expert archer and superior swordsman he was the best warrior of his tribe and could outbest any man or living creature throughout the territory.

When he was one hundred and five he was well known all over the Abasil territories as a skilled killer, hunter, and tracker. And at the age of one hundred and twenty Abasil recruiters always kept coming around asking if he would join their armies. He wouldn’t but was once to have said to travel to the frigid north coasts, able to slip past the Trolls who patrolled the moutians and passes.

Since then for the last five years he has not stayed in one place for more than two days always staying on the move. He was in many wars including the Great War between the ogres and Caladin where he was a mercenary captain, The Andune War between Anfalas and Talahar where he was a corporal.

His time has found out that no matter how strong he might be he has weaknesses as well. On one encounter in Caladin he had been hit from the magic of the Great Wyrm in the Great War. He almost died from the magical blast and his body was paralyzed for three weeks. He was wounded during sunset where the failing light made him unable to focus.



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Comments ( 8 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Solagan
June 7, 2005, 23:01
0xp
Not a bad idea, but not too much is original here. He seems like yet another orphan who is misunderstood and rises against the odds to be a hero.
Also, what happened to his father? Is there potential plot hooks involving him?

Overall 2/5, could use editting and something to make it more unique.
Sentinel
June 8, 2005, 5:31
0xp
I agree. The part of the father is a big gap in the back ground and editing with the grammer would work as well.

2/5
Voted EchoMirage
June 8, 2005, 6:56
0xp
A super-powered orphan. Hooray. Can't contain my excitement. His personality need fleshing out. Likewise, most people have
a) motivations
b) some internal conflict
c) people they care about and social contacts

A common mistake is to assume that a weird heritage is sufficient to make a character stand out - perhaps at a first glance, but he needs to stand out as a person likewise.

Give him a less dry background, play around with the idea to produce something unique.

Another note: the last paragraph is but an alibi so that noone can say that he's munchkin. Well: why exactly does magic hurt him? Does it hurt him more than somebody else? Why? What was the part with the setting sun supposed to mean? Was he blinded by it? Is he more light sensitive than a human?

Also: think of reasons - why did his father bed an elven femme; were no dragon ladies available, or ... was he too ugly, or too timid to court one? Did he have an elf fetish?
Voted MoonHunter
June 8, 2005, 8:42
0xp
Just because a person is odd, does not make them dramatic or interesting. Though,it can help. This is a better character for a story rather than a game, because it needs to be center stage and the only odd thing to be really interesting and provide dramatic elements. Even to make a story with him work, you would have to turn up the personality elements.

What motivates him, really? Why is he just more than a guy with an odd background? What makes him special or at least more interesting than any other guy/ gal with an odd background?

The character has some initial interest. The background is a little flat, but that can be overcome. The question is, what do we do with it? How would one incorporate this into a game? Why would one want to put it into their game?
Voted Cheka Man
June 8, 2005, 9:56
0xp
Another refugee from Munchkinland. 1/5
Voted Scrasamax
June 8, 2005, 15:33
0xp
Definately shows some promise, filling in the gaps of the missing father could really round out the story. I am curious to know how he has a dragon father when the only dragon 'known' was the blue with the ogres.

2/5
Beowulf
June 11, 2005, 15:37
0xp
Thank you all for your advice I shall redo the background to your likings.
Voted Strolen
April 20, 2008, 12:45
0xp
Lacking in the detail and too much of the general. This creature could be awesome but with all the powers and wings and tail there is really no mention of it as he is growing up. I imagine he can fly which would be something else. Saving a cat from a tree, something heroic where his mutation saved the day would help him be accepted.

OK background for a PC in a game, you don't need much for that, but we thrive on the motivations and such here and that is missing.


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