NPCs
Major
Mystical
2.25
4 Votes

3xp


Hits: 562
Comments: 9
Ideas: 0
Rating: 2.25
Condition: Normal
ID: 8495

Submitted:

Updated:
July 8, 2016, 9:32 am

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Zora, Sorceress Queen

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The queen of a pocket kingdom, Zora is known for her command of dark magics, fashion sense that involves using armor grade metal in dresses and bustiers, and the stark contrast of her pale skin against her blood red lips and raven dark hair.

Fascinated by: Zora is a vain and shallow woman, fascinated by her own beauty, and legacy. She spends a large amount of time on her wardrobe, make-up, hair, and her magic is full of flare, shock and awe, and artistic power.

Seduced by: The Sorceress Queen has been seduced by the trappings of power, and glorifies herself with a grandiose castle, cadres of dark knights and dragon riders, and the attentions of a court of sycophants and masochists.

Offended by: Zora is offended by displays of mercy, pity, or by having her appearance or power slighted, she will respond to such things with horrific displays of power, such as ripping the skeleton out of an offending soft hearted soldier, or turning a snide courtier or noblewoman into a hairy animal.

Frightened by: Zora spend her childhood growing up weak, ugly, and powerless, and falling back into this terrifies her, and drives her to be strong, an avatar of beauty, and to force the world around her to kneel to her, to cower at her name, and for strangers to show her humility and tribute.

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Comments ( 9 )
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amphibianJani
July 5, 2016, 20:21
Only voted
Voted amphibianJani
July 5, 2016, 20:46
1xp
This is a rather standard fulfillment of the "Evil Queen" trope. I would have graded it 2 or 2.5 except for the spelling errors ("rave dark hair" and "inspect" rather than expect).
Scrasamax
July 5, 2016, 21:33
1xp
Nothing exceptional, and trope, yes. I've thrown out this as the spearhead submission in a four sentence character challenge. Spelling errors have been fixed.
Voted Cheka Man
July 6, 2016, 15:45
0xp
It is strange to find something like this from you.
valadaar
July 7, 2016, 20:23
0xp
Did you read the related submission Cheka? This is intentionally a very terse submission.

valadaar
July 7, 2016, 20:25
0xp
That said, I would probably use the more verbose form with each sentence followed by a bit of expansion.
Voted valadaar
July 7, 2016, 20:27
0xp
I like her - a simple straightforward NPC that can easily be used. I think Cersei is very close to this one :)
Moonlake
July 8, 2016, 6:56
0xp
I know this is supposedly to for the 4 sentence challenge and I don't mind its length. What I do mind is the one-dimensionality of the NPC. The seduced by and frightened by parts seem to me as if they are the same thing rephrased in a different way. Sorry, Scras, didn't mean to be harsh, but I just felt like some of the potential of this NPC had been wasted this way. I'm gonna go with 2.5 on this.
Voted Moonlake
August 28, 2016, 23:08
0xp
Revoted to 3 after re-write.

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