Timmy the Tequila Worm Brand Tequila

There are hundreds if not thousands of liquors throughout all the lands, but few ever manage to stand out from the rest. The defining trait between a run of the mill booze and a rare and special spirit can often be a gimmick. This is what master brewer Donovan learned all too well.



Donovan growing up in a guild of skilled mages was quite adept at weaving magic, but his true passion was found simply in his knack for distilling fine spirits. Donovan’s crowning achievement was a beautifully ingenious concoction which included an enchanted “Gusano,” or in common speech, a worm.

Donovan was a man ruled by his own strict moral code. He felt that if a man was going to drink it should be a positive experience, never in anger, sadness, or alone for that matter. Thus the true incarnation of Timmy the tequila worm was born. Timmy’s purpose was to entertain the patron, raise his spirits if down, and warn of his impending personal limits to the drink. When finished Timmy would insist on being eaten, doing so would speed sobriety and decrease any lasting effects of the brew that might be felt in the morning. Donovan enjoyed some personal success in marketing the spirits himself and a many housewives praised him for his for his wonderful brew.

It was at this time an investor of sorts approached Donovan with a proposal to marked his spirits too far off lands. He was intrigued and the promise of vast wealth quickly seduced him. Within hours Donovan sat in front of nearly twenty investors with a quill in his hand. All eyes on him, Donovan felt the gravity of the situation and quickly signed the lengthy document before him.

Only a few day later received an order for his “Entertaining Tequila,” but to his dismay discovered that Timmy’s goals were to be revised. He would now insight a patron to drink and spend more at his local venue. Not only this, but his spirits were to be made at 3x their original strength. Furious, Donovan approached his investors where he demanded an explanation and refused to make the changes listed. They chucked to themselves and replied; “Didn’t you read the contract? You gave us artistic license for Timmy. You will make the changes listed and furthermore, if you don’t make the changes we’ll have you thrown in prison for breach of contract!”

Donovan defeated, returned to his brewery and begun his new work with a heavy heart. The new brew with the changes described had a multitude of side effects; hallucinations, vastly lowered inhibitions, and a wild lust were among the most grave additions. Finally as if to add insult to injury Timmys, were no longer friendly drinking buddies, they became a conniving tricksters swindling patrons of their hard earned wages. Once again upon completion of the brew Timmy would insist on being eaten, but now his purpose was only to further cloud the patron’s mind and cause some memory loss in an attempt to disassociate any connections of the nights consequences with the drink itself.

Months passed and in time four years had come and went. Thousands of bottles had been manufactured and Timmy’s infamy grew. Crime rose, marriages began ending faster than ever, and the general state of the region began to waver as it gave way to rampant alcoholism. Finally, Donavan had enough with all the anger pent up from what he felt he had caused, made what he knew would be the final batch of his famous brew. Donovan made countless changes to enchantment surrounding Timmy, no longer the simple trickster, he was an agent of revenge.

Sent by especial courier a case of 5 year anniversary brew was sent to each of the 19 investors homes. Each were found a day or two later dead clutching a bottle of 5th Anniversary Timmy the Tequila Worm Brand Tequila, bleeding slightly from the mouth. Sadly so too was Donovan found this way, soon after the grim discovery, laying out in front of his burning brewery.


No bottles of the original (positive natured) spirit are left in circulation. However, the mass-produced version is still quite common, though discontinued. Only about half of 20 cases remain (about 240 bottles) of the 5th Anniversary Timmy the Tequila Worm Brand Tequila. Most were confiscated, but years in evidence lockup allowed for may to “be lost to thievery” or simply became forgotten and given away by those ignorant of their sordid past.

Magical properties:

If either is probed magically it is fairly obvious that they are malicious in intent, though the 5th Anniversary is more so than the faint aura associated with the mass-produced version.

Mass produced: As stated above these had a multitude of side effects; hallucinations, vastly lowered inhibitions, and a wild lust were among the most grave effects. These should be accompanied by moderate checks to resist these urges, illusions, and Timmy’s suggestions to spend. Timmys are conniving tricksters swindling patrons of their hard earned wages. They will do so by in sighting patrons to spend money on extra rounds, usually. Upon completion of the brew Timmy would insist on being eaten, difficult Will DC to resist, if failed Timmy will further cloud the patron’s mind and cause some memory loss in and any escapades of the night will be forgotten once eaten.

5th Anniversary Timmy the Tequila Worm Brand Tequila: These bottles are easily identified by the special labeling, but it won’t do any good as few know to associate this with caution. When a bottle is breached Timmy will immediately urge the victim to drink at incredible speeds chanting “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” The victim will struggle to keep up with the worms wishes, the brew is extremely alcoholic in nature. High checks will need to be made for 1/5 of the bottle, to stop or at the very least slow down. Furthermore, even if a victim can bring himself to shun Timmy’s orders he will also have to resist the temptation to seek solitude for fear of someone taking the bottle from him. Finally if the Victim has the misfortune of finishing the bottle, he will be met with a massive headache that Timmy promises to relieve if they eat him. If the victim doesn’t believe him this is a massive check to resist his suggestions again, but Timmy is fairly convincing. If no one stops the victim from eating Timmy they incur something in the neighborhood of 2d6 Constitution damage. If they live, they are imparted with a heavy addiction to the 5th Anniversary Brew and it starts all over again when a new bottle is opened.

Plot hooks:

1. The mass produced might be a delicacy in your local pub, very expensive. “Oh, you want the most expensive brew in the house… Okay, but can you handle it?”

2. The King might have been delivered a bottle or two of the 5th Anniversary Brew as a gift.

3. Either might be mixed in with a random assortment of treasures.


? Responses (10)-10

Goto Author

I like the image of an insidious tequila worm that is up to no good. I picture him with a tiny sombrero on his wormy head.

The sole objection: Donovan, being a competent wizard using suggestion magicks should have found it quite easy to go all Jedi on the investors. "You WANT to revise the contract. The original Timmy is FAR better. No one will LOVE you unless you abandon this folly."

Goto Author

A nice magical brew to complicate and and to the intrigue of any political/royal campaign. One can expect dire consequences awaiting the poor soul who unwittingly gives a 5th addition bottle to the prince they are courting, (Or the king to gain his favor when courting the princess)

I'd have to agree with with Echo though about the wizard being able to somehow influence these merchants to his own ends, or at the very least realize their threats of imprisonment were empty given without him to produce the enchanted booze they'd have no product at all. (And his influential magic could surely convince the judge/duke to let him off with a mere fine.)

Goto Author

Your both absolutely right, why would a competent wizard find himself in a position that he couldn’t talk/magic his way out of. I spent the better part of the morning thinking about it, a number of ideas came up but only one I had maintains the majority of the story. This idea in fact being that the investors were prepared for Donovan at the signing. The awkwardness and pressure was not natural in nature, it twisted his perceptions and limited his ability to think logically through the situation. (The room its self could be a whole new submission now that I’m thinking about it.) Seeing that all business was conducted in the room Donovan fell to its powers a number of times.

Thanks for the advice.

Goto Author

Glad I could help, although personally I would keep Donovan a kindly wizard dismayed at the abuse of his creation and perhaps have the merchants either:

A) Steal his magical tome and notes on how to make Timmy and give it to a more willing mage and include in the contract a 'fair use' clause letting them use any variant of Timmy they choose regardless of who creates it and holding license over who can produce 'Timmy' (Leaving Donovan 'bought out' and more or less helpless to oppose the abuse of Timmy and perhaps fading into obscurity over time or going insane from it.)

or B) Have his apprentice betray him when he objected to the new Timmy use and run off to aid the company and make the twisted Timmy's for a small fortune leaving Donovan more or less powerless to stop him.

Regardless it's a great concept, I love these magics that are non run-of-the-mill and truly unique, keep up the great subs!

Goto Author

'A' I love this idea, i started down this road but coulden't flesh it out right in my head. Both are great and I might use the second as a plot hook in the future.

Goto Author

*imagines the evil worm cackling away*

Goto Author

This is an excellent sub. I agree with EchoMirage and Silveressa (I would probably go with option "B" if I use this.)

This would be a great plot starter - freshly loaded with loot, the group's warrior buys the "best" liquor of the house, only to wake up the next morning in jail with no memory of the things he's being accused of.

The only other thing I would add is to make the sub more system-agnostic by rewording the parts about making a Will DC check and inflicting Constitution damage.

Goto Author

The underlying idea is solid and logical. The overall submission is also quite likeable as a whole. A good first post.

Goto Author

Well, this is different. And quite engaging! I like Echo and Sil's ideas as well. Also, what they all said. Welcome (!) If the tequilla is an indication of your brand of fantasy, I'm going to enjoy your subs.

A toast to Timmy!

Goto Author

'Duuuude, the worm, is like, talkin' ta me....'

What an wonderfully odd one here...