The Garlandier

Appearance

Not unlike Petra in Jordan, the Garlandier is a magnificent stone structure that when found appears hewn and shaped into the wall of the Gyre. The facade is three stories tall and has a columned portico front. The windows are lit with a warm glow and there is the muffled sound of murmuring conversation and music coming from the entrance. This gentle invitation to enter should feel jarring and discordant compared to the section of the Gyre the establishment has appeared in. It is mobile, and only stays in place for twenty-four hours before vanishing.

Entrance/Guardian

The entrance of the Garlandier is as mentioned a magnificent Reception. There is a four-pillared grand portico with a sumptuous indigo carpet leading to the absolutely massive doors. Each of the four pillars are carved in the likeness of classical women of beauty, holding up the ceiling with uplifted arms. They are masterwork sculptures, crafted with such precision that is almost seems like they were the victims of petrification magic rather than a sculptor's ax and chisel. They are completely mundane but breathtaking.

The doors of the Garlandier are twelve feet tall and made of exquisite ebony panels set into a lustrous dragonbrass frame. The left door depicts a massive warrior clad in a very antique style of armor, Demonic/Djinn Cuirasse and plate. This style of armor was made to represent the musculature of the wearer and had organic appearing elements such as stylized muscles, nipples, and other features. The helmet had a fascia, or faceguard that is formed into the visage of a grimacing demon or djinn. The references to djinn are only made for the reader's edification, as there are no desert regions, and no lore of djinn in Cridhedun. The motif of the demon/djinn warrior is technically an anachronism, and should come across as strange and alien. The panel depicts Fell Lord Goffard Garland, a figure that is completely forgotten in the Gygaxian Gyre and Terrasquestone

Legendary or Unique Lore check successful - Goffard Garland was a Fell Knight of the Ancient Empire and had tremendous power as an Arc Knight, or Thunderflash Knight, the terms are interchangeable. He survived the Cataclysm, and was one of the founders of the camp that would one day grow to become Terrasquestone. Thus, it might seem odd that possibly the most influential and most important founder of the city has been forgotten. There is a very good reason for this, Garland is now the Avatar of the Gygaxian Gyre, and the physical incarnation of the Dungeon's Soul. This figure, now nearly 1400 years old, has almost nothing in common with the human who first discovered the core of the Gyre and triggered its lightning fast evolution. The Avatar, however, is a regular guest of the inn, though no one would recognize him because unlike Excaliber, he never wears the Djinni armor anymore, and instead appears a slim but athletically fit man of hard to determine age, but with a stiff by stylish white beard, exceptionally fashionable waxed mustache, and impeccable but definitely dated fashion sense. He favors plaid and brocaded fabrics under exotic animal fur coats.

The right door, while still being made of dragonbrass and ebony, is in striking contrast to the other door. There is a porcelain skinned waif depicted in moonstone, opal, and topaz, larger than life just as her counterpart. The staff name the two as the Demon and the Waif, and that there is an entire story the revolves around the two, but that is something for the library, not the reception. Her appearance is that of a childlike woman, wearing a yellow diaphanous gown the while covering, does not conceal her heart-shaped nipples, or her amber pubic hair triangle.

Legendary or Unique Lore check successful - Sarathe of Cengrend was superficially a royal princess of the Ancient Empire. The vast majority of the populace thought of her as nothing more than the product of generations of royal excess, privilege, and over-breeding. She was thin to the point of being gaunt and had the physical appearance of a permanent child, or neotenic. After Garland was defeated by the core, Saranthe spent two decades attacking the Gyre in an attempt to carry out revenge, before meeting the resurrected Garland, and immediately and completely rejecting the Avatar, claiming it was not her Goffard, but a monstrous replacement. Saranthe eventually gave up attacking the Gyre and set up as the organizer of the first adventurers guild devoted to facing the Gyre and defeating it. Theirs is presented as star-crossed lovers who became enemies though they both still long for each other.

They are both still in existence.

The Concierge and the Bell-wights

The concierge is a tall, whip-thin, aged wight, notable for the horrific scar that crosses his face from the brow, down through the cheek, and into the lower jaw. The flesh is scarred and knotted, the jaw shows where the blow broke the bone and how it didn't heal back properly. His name is Dazal Dondim and was once a terrible wightish warrior. He served the dungeon for years before his career as a fighter was ended by several strokes of an axe in the hands of a berserker. One of his legs is artificial from the knee down, and the hand on the same side is likewise an artificial prosthetic made of wightsilver. He moves with a deliberate gait, and speaks with a harsh clipped accent, but is polite. He accepts guests in the Reception, informs them of the Garlandier's amenities, and doles out room assignments. The hotel doesn't charge a fee, much like a casino it superficially makes its money from the entertainments and amenities offered.

The Bell-Wights are a cadre of teenage wights, mostly young females. They are ready to carry bags, tend animals and pets, check weapons and armor, and the rest that a hotel's staff would manage in a fantasy setting. They do expect to be tipped, and guests who do not tip do not get good service.

The Amenities

The Garlandier is a luxury hotel, that cannot be forgotten or overstated. Everything inside is impressive, opulent, and over the top. The counters are not wood, they are made of rare and exotic stone. The main desk is carved from a single massive piece of orange quartz, lit from behind so it gives the place a warm and welcoming glow. The carpets are sublime. There is no berber, no shag, no pile, the carpets are on par with Persian rugs.

The Great Room - an example of hunting lodge chic, the Great Room of the Garlandier is floored in serpentite flagstones, overlaid with a number of Ghorzan (Elemassean orc, bold colors of red, orange, green, and black), Laben (High goblin, arabesque vine and water patterns in orange, blue, green, and white), and Mohnirasan (minotaur, thick corded yarn in blue, green, and tan gradient) rugs. There are many others, and they change from visit to visit. The walls are hung with a variety of tapestries, animal head mounts, and great orange quartz lamps. The far wall is dominated by a massive fireplace large enough to roast an entire ox, with the mantle being made of translucent crystal shot through with veins and flecks of gold. There are a good number of tables, chairs, even lounges and settees for more dainty and feminine guests.

Adjacent to the Great Room: 

The Humidor is stocked with a large selection of dungeon leaf, pipes, and other accessories. The Humidor has a small attached bar for discerning guests to smoke their pipes and consume cordials and hearty spirits.

The Apothecary functions like a hotel's general store and has basic things that are easily overlooked when delving into a dungeon. It has healing items, rations, and sundry supplies that adventurers would likely need to buy or replace as they made their way down into the depths.

The Gallery is an art exhibit rich with paintings, statues and sculptures, pottery exhibits, and other such works.

The Library has a lot of books, though none are allowed to leave the library, and attempting to steal one is going to upset the librarian, Civraisse, a female wight enchantress and master scribe.

Not adjacent to the Great Room, but in their own sections:

The Garlandier Chatheshaa, the concept of a restaurant is largely unknown even in cities as advanced and large as Terrasquestones. Most folk who do not cook themselves get their food from stands and kiosks in the market areas, or the dining rooms of inns and taverns. Such places do not have concepts like menus and whatnot, rather the food is either accepted or not, and that's about all. The nobility have their own cookery and functionally have caterers that often live in house. The Chatheshaa is a proper restaurant, with menus, a wine list, waitresses, and the like. The establishment specializes in dungeon cookery, creating dishes from exotic dungeon monsters and ingredients. The wine and spirits list is likewise drawn from what the dungeon produces.

The Bathhouse is a study in Art Nouveau, and the use of serpentite, tiger's eye, carnelian, and orange quartz. The Bathhouse is not just a place for a hot bath, communal or private, it is also a spa. It has the amenities that any proper spa would have, mineral baths, mud treatments, a sauna room with an entrance shaped like a dragon's jaws, and a staff of bath attendants and masseuses.

The Cabaret is a more rowdy place than the Great Room or the Chatheshaa. Like an inn it serves a very limited food selection, less expensive beers and wine, and has live entertainment in the form of music, acting troupes, and dancing reviews. Many of the dancing reviews border on the scandalous. There is a side door attached to the Cabaret that leads down a long hallway to the Seraglio. The Seraglio is the brothel of the Garlandier, and it is not shown to guests, they generally have to find it on their own.

The Facilities Proper

The Garlandier only has suites, there are no cheap rooms in the hotel.

Zodiak Suite

Also known as the Cavalier suite, this suite has a single bed suite with an armor rack/alcove, sparring dummy, restroom facilities, and a martial motif. A Grand Zodiak suite has two beds. This is the default suite for male guests.

Beatrix Suite

Also known as the Princess Suite, this suite has a single bed suite with dressing mannequins, a vanity and chaise lounge anteroom, restroom facilities, and a master closet. A Grand Beatrix has two beds. A Supreme Grand has two double occupancy beds, and the Beatrix Ultimecia has a room that is literally just a bed and is large enough for a dozen guests. The regular Beatrix suite is the default for female guests. 

Yiazmat suite

Also known as the Mystic Suite, the Yiazmat Suite has a single occupancy bed, writing desk, meditation area/sanctum, and easy access to the Garlandier library, along with the basic restroom and clothing amenities. These are generally favored by magic users, monks, and elves. 

Dalamascan Suite

Also known as the Honeymoon Suite, the Dalamascan Suite is designed for couples, has a single bed large enough for two, a small private bath and restroom facility, and the basic undertone that the suite is for romantic purposes. A Grand Dalamascan can be reserved for four to six guests, and has a huge bed much like the Beatrix Ultimecia. 

Yunaleska Suite

Also known as the Royal Suite, the Yunaleska is functionally the same as a Zodiak or Beatrix, but everything is larger, the furnishing nicer, the rooms have highly appreciable art, and there is just a good deal more of everything being made available. The default is the Lady Yunaleska, and the restroom is fitted with a bath, private mini-spa treatment area, sitting room, and a walk-in closet. The Lord Yunaleska has to be requested and swapped the ornate bathing facilities and sundry beauty goods for easy access to the Humidor and the Cabaret. Either can be upgraded to a Grand for two guests. These suites can only be requested by verified high-ranking nobility (available to dukes, archdukes, and marquis (but only Mar-KEE, no MAR-kwiss, pronounce it wrong and you get a shabby Zodiak) but not for barons, banner lords, knights, knight captains, etc.

Gilgamesh Suite

Also known as an Imperial Suite, it is functionally what happens when the furniture, fashion, and decore-obsessed Core of the Gyre has a chance to just absolutely flex. All of the furniture, art, and amenities are proper long-lost thaumaturge empire stuff. The Gilgamesh Suite is over the top in fantasy magitek, rococo art, and baroque furniture, and the level of materials used is simply masturbatory in its ostentatiousness. There are nightstands and garderobes in the Gilgamesh suite that are worth a kingdom's ransom. To stay in the ONE Gilgamesh Suite, the guest must be a king, emperor, or similar head of a major state, faction, or power leader, or they have to be someone who has bested the avatar of the Dungeon in single combat.

This is a VERY short list.

Anima Suite

Also known as the Servant's Suite, this is the suite reserved for the servants of lords, ladies, knights, and whoever else decided to drag their servants and valets into the Gygaxian Gyre, and then decided that it was their responsibility to make sure they are properly rested for the night. The Anima suite is generally described to the servant's masters as inexpensive, but good enough for the help. In truth, these suites are functionally the nicest in the Gyre, as the core finds bringing unwilling support personnel into the dungeon tacky. They are not lavish or over the top like the Yunaleska or Gilgamesh, but they have easy access to the Servant's Section, a second grand common room somewhat smaller than the main room, but with the same access to kiosk versions of the humidor, cabaret, and room service from the Chatheshaa. There is also a Servant's bath that is equal to the common baths of the hotel, but only available to servants of guests.

There are also glyphs of warding, silence, and mindfulness so that servants who end up staying in an Anima Suite don't talk about it. Ever.

Purpose and Usage:

The Garlandier is an outpost, or embassy of the Gygaxian Gyre, and it can appear literally anywhere within the boundaries of the dungeon's zone of control. It is most commonly found in the middle zones of the dungeon. It never appears near the Fortress at the Heart of the World, since the dungeon and its minions are already pretty much home. It appears only very rarely in the first zone of the Gyre, and most commonly on the coreward side of Understone, the Perrenian Necrohol, or rather ironically, in Terrasquestone itself. When the hotel appears in the Great City, its staff are replaced with humans, or the wights equip themselves to appear as humans, except for Dazal Dondim, because those humies can go fuck themselves. When it appears in the city, it is coinciding with a specific holiday, festival, or celestial event, and is functionally box seats for dungeon individuals to witness or participate in said event.

The Garlandier also goes where it is needed, typically if the core is interested in supporting a specific group or individual complete a desired task, or in the process of arranging meetings between city Lords, Understone Lords, the Other Council, and the lieutenants of the core itself.