12 Votes


Hits: 5168
Comments: 5
Ideas: 0
Rating: 2.0833
Condition: Normal
ID: 891


January 15, 2006, 2:24 pm

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This Elf is a very thoughtful warrior. But he has an absent past.

Special Equipment:

Gladius Armor-
   Protection against elements, the only person that may see the armor is the owner.


This Character has a bad attitude about things, but he knows what he is doing.

He dresses in what ever he can find. The only thing that he actually cleans and washes daily is his Gladius Armor.


He was born half Human and Half Elf. His mother was killed by his father and his father banished Didget away, for his mother cheated on his father. He for his whole life had to live in the wilderness. When he was 15 he was brought the Gladius Armor from a forrest mage, it would protect him from the creatures elements and he could hunt them down to eat easily. But he has forgot who his mother was, and forgot what was in the outside world.

Roleplaying Notes:

This character plans on leaving the forest to see the outside world. But he finds out that today people dont like elves, and all elves would be burned at the stake.
He is brought up but the Gladius Armor can withstand the fire and he will be brought the finest warriors and mages in the town to begin his quest and remeber his past.

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Comments ( 5 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

June 17, 2003, 16:35
This character has an interesting story, but it needs more explaining. Explain why the mage gave him the armor, or how the armor was given it's name. Explain how he lived those early years in the wild with nothing but the shirt on his back, and maybe a utility knife to defend himself against the various beasts in the woodlands. If you add more explenations it will give your character personality. =) Not bad for a first try.
January 8, 2005, 18:39
I disagree. This character has almost no backstory, and almost no explanation. Hopfrog's questions are also applicable.

January 9, 2005, 11:25
How did this one escape our notice for so long? Who also voted for this thing, all these times and so high. Who ever they are, they need to have their voting privlages revoked.

A couple of things besides the obvious of "too short", not enough description, about as interesting as drying paint...

There is no plot, no drama, and no hook to this character. Nothing to make this character more than a cypher.

At least your English skills are better than PAR.

I want you to think about the Gold Standard:
If the character (item/ setting/ plot) is not as well described or as well developed as a character (item/ setting/ plot) in a novel (excluding horrible game fic novels), then it is not yet ready to be posted. If it is not the equal of said characters, then you need to do more work on it.
February 22, 2013, 8:01
I echo MoonHunter's decrying the number of votes compared to the number of comments. When those young nomads who have but little skill or writing sense when they wander into our Citadel, we should encourage even their weak efforts and try to hone their skills, difficult as it may be. Who knows what potential talent was lost when someone's first submission gets a low vote and they leave without hope?

I'm as guilty as the rest, but I hope in the decade(!) since devblu posted this, we've gotten better as a writing community.
Voted valadaar
April 30, 2013, 22:50
Only voted

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