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Condition: In Work (public)
ID: 3311

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November 10, 2006, 8:00 pm

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the restless warrior

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A powerful warrior slays all who come in his path. The rpc comes in his way and have to run away to survive.
How do you stop someone that cant be killed?

Plot Description
A powerful warrior slays all who come in his path. The rpc comes in his way and have to run away to survive.
The warrior is actually a ghost that cant be killed with violence.
Secrets
He i nor living or dead, he is undead. He is a powerful
ghost that walks the land of the living searching for
any opponent who dare to fight him. Well… he picks his
opponent wether they like it or not. 
He cant be killed. The only way to kill him is to
destroy his skull in his hidden crypt. He doesn’t
know that he is undead, he just want to find a opponent
he thinks is strong enough to kill him so he finally
can get some rest. 
Expanding the scenario
* The crypt is hard to find. The rpc first have realise
he is a ghost and then find out who he was. When they know
his name and bakground they are closer to finding the crypt.

* Maybe the skull i stolen. A necromancer is convinced that
he somehow can control the ghost with the scull.

This is my first post. I hope I havent stolen anyones idea!
Sorry if the post is bad or wrong in some way..



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Comments ( 3 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

MoonHunter
November 10, 2006, 16:42
0xp
Okay, this was originally posted in the article, Five Best Tips for Posting on Strolen's (and Other Places), but here they are. Your submission has a glimmer of hope, so I am just providing the text

These are five good tips for those who want to produce better items, npcs, lifeforms, locations, plots, and such.

First: Review!
Review the top rated posts of the category you want to post it. If you want to do an item, click into items, then the highest rated (in red) and it will give you a list of the best items. Read the first ten or so.

Moonhunter comments: Did you read and see how the submissions are on the site?

Second: Effort!
Put some thought into your post. Take your time putting the post into print. Taking time to do a post right shows you care not only about your audience and yourself, but you care about the thing you are posting about. If you aren't spending a minimum of 15 to 30 minutes on the post, it will probably be abused and low rated. Most of us spend 45 to 60 minutes on a post. Remember, you will spend more time actually thinking about your post before you put it up, if you want to do it right.

Remember that you can edit your post, so if you find something wrong, go back and fix it.

It looks like you actually put your post together in notepad and transfered it over, so you have the right idea. However, checking would of been nice.

Third: Check it!
I really mean it. Go through your posts. Make sure it follows the basic rules of grammar . Sentences start with capital letters, end with punctuation, and have everything moderately correct in between. Extra lines should be inserted between paragraphs (and there should be paragraphs). I can not stress the next part more that simply scream, "Spell check!". If you can, copy (from web site) and paste (into word processor) your post into a WP with spell check. Run the spell check (and the grammar check if it has it). Copy and paste it back. If you do this, it will automatically improve your post by one point (on average). If we can simply and easily read your post, we can start critiquing it rather than your awful spelling.

If English is not your primary language, let us know. However, be warned that many of our best posters have English as a second, third, or even fourth language. So all we ask is that you continue to work at it, to get it right. http://www.strolen.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1559

This is where your post fails horribly. I almost want to go line by line through it and show you ever error. If you turned this into a teacher, they would of red lined it to death.

Fourth: Completeness!
Your posts needs to tell us nearly everything about the subject. You should strive for items that are generic, rather than dependent on a specific setting or campaign. While being vague can help make the item more "generic", you need to "imply" the answers. (For example: while my game might not have Rykor the BloodSlayer, I can figure out an approximate match "The most dreaded demon riding Dark Knight in history.") Implied answers act as guidelines for the GM/ Player adapting the post.

To be complete, your post needs to answer; "Who is involved?", "What is happening (and where and when)?" and "How and why things occur?". If it is an item or setting then include: What is the item/place? and What can it do?

Details are not as important as completeness. Read your post. Is there anything that someone (who doesn't know your campaign and the backstory) might have a question about? If you find such a question, edit the write up and include the answer to that question. Keep reading your post until you have answered every question (including ones that seem really stupid... there are a lot of really stupid people out there).

This is the other place your post totally fails. There are too few details here for anyone to properly use it. This is the bare minimum of a (good) idea. You need to give more so people can use it.

Fifth: The Gold Standard
If your post could not be part of a published fantasy novel, it needs work. That is what you should aim for.

If your item/ npc/ plot/ setting is not as well described and developed as something you would find in a published fantasy novel (excluding most DnD licensed novels), then it is not equal to the gold standard and needs work.

This standard is really not that hard to meet. New members often meet it on their first or second try. You do not need to be a professional writer, you just need to put a little effort into doing it right.

There you go. Now lets us see if you will edit your post.
Murometz
November 10, 2006, 19:54
0xp
Why dont we just move it to 'In Work'? I think that will serve the same purpose. I have a feeling Sunilor will work on it, though I could be wrong.

Take the idea and expand it Sunilor. Throw in some details, give it a look over for spelling, grammar and stuff, and it could be pretty good!
Wulfhere
March 4, 2007, 14:52
0xp
Sunilor,

This has a lot of potential to be a fun adventure, as the player characters encounter a villain that cannot be killed (through conventional means) and must research his past to discover the truth about what he is.


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