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ID: 5809
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Comments: 5
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Rating: 3
Condition: Normal
Submitted:
May 29, 2009, 10:12 pm
Updated:
May 29, 2009, 10:12 pm


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The Surian Inquisition
By: VarrosAnon

Created for a freedom fighter situation where a group's purpose is to liberate provinces or citizens, or to simply escape to regroup later.

History

    A mere Twenty-Nine years ago, a man by the name of Karna Swuzek ruled the country of Sirianos. Sirianos, being one of the three indigenous countries of Surian lore, was coming under large unrest for the keeping of traditional and conservative ways in a time of change. Karna was a noble man, attempting to better conditions for the every day man in order to better serve the kingdom. But, alas, the nobles of their respective provinces and colonies did not want this change, and enjoyed being in a place of power. Karna tried his hardest to abolish these ways, but the country was bound too deep into it's own traditions. Karna eventually gave up, admitting verbatim, "It cannot happen, It will not happen." When discussing the liberation and advancement of the peasants, it was thought that it would not happen.

    In the small village of Nofkarof, a man by the name of Lenord Krakow arose. Teased and insulted in his past, his hardened attitude had inspired him to do something about the problem. Trying to take out his anger, he started going out past his village, vandalizing various institutions and structures. Subsequently, he didn't anticipate a large reward put on his head. The warnings and notifications did not stop Lenord, though, for not only did he gain more stealth, but he also gained more followers. Slowly, critics started recognizing what was now known as 'The Krakow Inquisition,' ridding it's provinces of anything linked to Swuzek's reign. Citizens didn't know which faction to join; many thought one to be no better than the other. But, out of convenience and expansion, citizens were assimilated by the hundreds.

    Swuzek initially was going to use this uprising as an excuse to pass his ideas to form a better, stronger nation. But just the opposite happened, because while Swuzek was preaching his ideals to the nobles, Lenord's regime quickly rose. Lenord created a militia, arming them with the most basic of ranged weapons, trying to make sure that his Inquisition was deadly, and a threat. Swuzek's inability to cease and desist this rebellion was soon to be exposed, and to haunt him.

    Lenord realized that the gateway he had opened and exploited had been done perfectly, and if he started to fight now, he would catch the Sirianisian (SEAR-eeh-oh-nee-z-hen) army off guard and could take them over. This started what was known as the Inquisition; calling it a war would be taking pity on Swuzek. This is because Lenord and his militia were in the homeland, the northern arctic province of Farkhor, while Swuzek's men marched dreadfully unprepared towards the makeshift battleground. Slowly but surely, Swuzek's army went through the galiant plains, almost sure that a victory was at hand. But, when they were approaching their next destination, the Farkhor Southern Arsenal, to get equipped properly, Swuzek (who had taken direct control of his army) was then forced to retreat, followed by better armed, more ruthless, and less merciful commandos.

    The rest was just a domino effect. Lenord's influence drifted farther and farther until he attacked Swuzek's home metropolis head-on. By that time, the entire nation had succumbed to him. Lenord had conquered Sirianos, but even this great feat did not satiate him. With the help of his followers, which had grown great in number since in months past, started conquering Lindor and Malsathia, the other two archaic nations of Suria. Soon enough, the kings of the two respective nations were simply governors of their provinces, and Lenord to this day has been vanquishing any that oppose him and ruling as directly as he can. No great factions have opposed him since. The Surian Inquisition, which is what he named his government in memorium, still stands.

Structure

    The citizens within government of The Surian Inquisition as a majority seem to agree with the fact that they have traded one bad leader for another. If traveling through Surian lands, most who are not working specifically for the Inquisition will help you, but Lenord is also known to use spies to obtain information to further the Inquisition. Deception is always a possibility, and players should not only find friends in Surian lands, but also those who will deceive and confront them. As freedom fighters, they should always stay on their toes to defend against enemies.



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Comments ( 5 )
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VarrosAnon
2009-05-29 10:13 PM
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Since this is my first post, I would love feedback on how to not only improve this article, but any tips for writing in the future.

Thanks!
Pieh
2009-05-29 10:41 PM
0xp
Not bad, not bad at all. Like I said in chat, not my style, but it certainly is a good solid piece to set a story around. Welcome to the Citadel, and keep up the good work.
Voted Cheka Man
2009-05-30 08:21 AM
0xp
The change of rulers is the joy of fools.
Voted Drackler
2009-06-05 05:58 PM
0xp
Well, when I first saw this sub, I expected a quasi-evil religious group. What I got is alright, just not what I expected (No one expects the Surian Inquisition!). Like Pieh said, it's not really my cup-a-tea, but it is pretty good. Unfortunately, it seems a little incomplete. You have quite a bit of information about the history of the group (which you'll need here), but almost nothing about current times, and no plot hooks or ways of using this in the game. Overall, adequate, but could be bettered.
Welcome to the Citadel, Varros.
Voted valadaar
2009-06-05 06:58 PM
0xp
Welcome to the citadel!

First, take a look at many of Moonhunter's advice posts - there are many :)

But one point is I did not think it flows well. Read it aloud to yourself. There are some run-on sentences which should show themselves that way.

Another is the summary - use one that grabs attention, not drying explaining what you are writing.

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