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March 26, 2011, 12:27 am

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Cult of the Golden Spoon

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We are the Cult of the Golden Spoon!
We meet every day at the crack of noon!
Beware our leaders: Tom, Phil, Hank, and Typhoon!
They get their powers from the Light of B’thoon!

So, don’t you cross us! And if you ever forgot us,
you’d be crushed by the moon!

The Light of B'thoon:

One day, sitting at their usual table in The Silver Biscuit, Tom, Phil, and Hank, got it into their heads to start a cult. They were not known for being wise men, they were not known for being anything other than village idiots and insufferable drunks. To start their cult, they figured they needed a few things...

So, they set to work, forcing their tiny minds to work over-time, over a few mugs of cheap ale.

After a while, Tom noticed a small rainbow on the table. "There be leprechauns here!" He exclaimed. Phil looked at the rainbow, then looked to the glass mug nearby, "Naw, ya baffoon, it's just the light passin' through the glass o' yer mug!"

Hank was silent; he stared long and hard at that rainbow. Willing it to become something more. As Tom went to lift the mug, Hank put out a hand to stop him, and drunkenly slurred the following, "Ya B'thoon! Duncha bean takan way ma-rrrain bow! Waist. I gutsit. Weralla B'thoons. Th' Lite, when ya seize it? You B'thoons! Seize it?"

Phil, always the logical one, figured that Hank must have been speaking the language of Ye Old Gods for such nonsense to come out.



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