In trying a new approach to creature presentation I’ve introduced this submission as a diary entry by an unlucky explorer who’s encountered the monstrosities. If this proves to be popular I’ll present more submissions in this fashion where appropriate.
Full Description
As I write this I silently pray to whatever gods there may be that the Chasers don’t hear the sound of my pen on this paper. If they do then this diary will be bathed in my blood.
Chasers, how innocent the word sounds, yet how dark the truth is. Chasers are small three to four foot humanoids, with pale white-green skin, and heads too big for their bodies. The pumpkin sized heads are composed of one large mouth, filled with sharp needle teeth that glisten with bloody salvia.
The only sensory organ visible is one cyclops like eye socket in the center of their forehead; yet they possess remarkable hearing and are able to catch the smallest sound, from urine pattering on the floor, to a heart beat.
However this strength is also a weakness, as other noises like blood rain, or maggots eating a corpse will distract them. Which is why I’m crouched underneath a stair well on the second floor of a brick building, listening to maggots fall out of a body next to me and thump on a rusting dumpster in the alley below me.
The Chasers are listening for my breath and heart beat, so will hopefully home in on the alley beneath me, where I can shove this corpse down on them. The zap fly larvae in this are highly carnivorous and will eat flesh whether it’s rotting or not.
If they do hear me then they will swarm over me like a tide of child sized ants, chewing my flesh to the bone before my screams can even vanish from the thick air.
That’s the worst part about chasers, they travel in packs of five or more and use their three foot arms to swing like chimpanzees from fire escapes and lights to drop down on unsuspecting prey.
I’d recently approached the outskirts of this fallen city, and found it to be a true land of the dead. The stench of rotting bodies was carried on the cold wind to my nose long before I reached the city. It was a thick cloying smell, almost turning the air into a soup. I’d heard rumors places such as this were a breeding ground for crazed people, bizarre mutations and lots worse. This city though, promises riches of canned foods, ammunition, and supplies me and my family cannot live without. I will write more later, providing I survive…
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2008-05-04 02:58 PM
Creature is not horribly special or unique but the description gives it another level that seems to make it much more useable.
Reminds me a bit of I Am Legend and that type of location/creature.
Don't stop the diary memo though, but would go farther with a 'normal' description of the creature.
2008-05-04 07:07 PM
Love the tone!
2008-05-04 07:17 PM
2008-05-04 08:20 PM
2008-05-04 09:35 PM
2008-05-05 12:32 AM
Mixing the elements of the story with the factual is a favorite past time around here. It does not always enhance the piece, (in some cases, it just makes it longer), but if done correctly it will.
2008-05-05 01:06 PM
By using this approach, you are almost forced to "write" (as the character) sentences that he/she wouldn't realistically write, in his/her current situation, in an attempt to shed some light on the nature of these properly wicked little monstrosities.
My suggestion would be to ratchet up the suspense and tension even more in the journal entry, leaving out "explanations" about the critters, and then follow it up with a GM's take.
For the record, I like the line regarding, "urine pattering on the floor." Helps the atmosphere, and provides an instant hollywood visual of some poor pisser, overheard by Chasers (and attacked in mid-stream)!
2008-05-05 06:50 PM
2009-05-01 10:13 PM
And most importantly: where can I get one? :)
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