Solitude and The Long Road Evelyn's Path pt 8

Ever since I'd befriended Sarah and Ellen I'd been trying to learn how they first expressed, partially to satisfy my own curiosity, and because I was also smart enough to know the odds of two lifelong friends both happening to express was pretty slim.

It wasn't until a night in May that I got chance to directly inquire about Ellen's past, after we'd returned from a quiet night on the town, as was sipping on my second glass of Cherry juice, debating on whether to pick up a juicer for my dorm as Ellen finished talking about her recent substitute teacher compared to ones from her childhood schools.

'I had the good, or some might call it bad, luck of having a pair of teachers as my parents. even during summer vacation the lessons continued, but I love science so it wasn't too bad.' I offered to her, recalling an amusing anecdote I was sure would put her at ease.

'There was this one time when I was eleven I learned my dad always kept his promises, when he promised me he'd eat his tie if I got an A+ on my science final in tenth grade.' I giggled at the memory. 'I studied extra hard just to see if he would go it.'

Ellen laughed, offering a single 'Eww.'

I leaned back and shook her head, 'Actually after I got the A+ he took off his tie, dissolved it in a beaker of acid, neutralized the acid with a base, filtered out the particles of tie, spread them on a slice of bread and ate it. Never mess with a science dad.' The fond memory made me pause for a few moments in reflection.

'The entire time Josephine and Miranda just laughed and laughed, I'd invited them by to watch my dad eat his tie after acing the exam.' I finished the brief anecdote and leaned forward, gently holding Ellen's hand, 'So what was it like growing up in San Fran?'

Ellen shrugged at that. 'I did most of my growing up in Kansas. We only moved to San Francisco when I was fifteen, after I was offered a scholarship to the Warren Musical Academy.' She smiled, but also seemed sad. 'Dad didn't want to pack up. He had a good job, seniority, good pay. He and mom were already fighting all the time, so she packed up and took me herself. We got the divorce papers in the mail three months later.'

'Oh, and Sarah went with you? From the sounds of it you two have never been apart.' I inquired, hoping to find a way to inquire about their Delta expressions without sounding too intrusive.

Ellen gave a small, hard laugh, still dwelling. 'Actually, I guess I DID do more of my growing up in Frisco.' She stopped to looked at me when I asked about Sarah.

I lowered my eyes and nodded in understanding, 'It can be tough when people you love split, I had a couple friends, sisters, who's parents got divorced.'

'Actually, it was weird. Sarah moved to Frisco. Her mom and dad split up, they both moved to the west coast. It was after that I got the scholarship offer.' She explained, seeming a bit more serious than before. 'We went to different schools, but we lived close to each other, and Sarah could get to me pretty fast.'

'So did you both express together? or was it kind of a secret when you found out she was a Delta?' It seemed as good a time as any to satisfy my curiosity. I kept my voice light and casual, even though I suspected I was treading into delicate territory.

'Divorce seems normal these days. I never did hear from my dad, no child support. He just wrote us off. But Sarah...' she beamed, 'Her parents were totally in love. Her mom was scared of the whole Delta thing, but once she got over it, she still loved him. They got married again right before Sarah moved here for school.'

'That's sweet, my friends were sisters, and their parents both fought over them, all they wanted was to stay together but their parents kept trying to split them up.' I added, realizing Ellen had neatly dodged my question, but I decided not to dwell on it.

'They run the first ever community center for Deltas in LA. He's thinking of starting another one.' She finished, pausing long enough for me to realize she wasn't about to answer my earlier inquiry.

'I could have used one of those when I was younger, after expressing during that school play, well I told you about that a while ago actually. I shift around, sitting close to her as I continued. 'But anyway after expressing all my friends kind of freaked out and avoided me at first, and I had trouble keeping my ability under control, I used to change a lot when I got emotional.'

I paused as the memories welled to the surface 'Mom and Dad tried to deal with it, but on top of me being Delta they'd found out I was a dyke at the same time so it was rough for a while.'

'The same to Sarah after she got ousted. Plus everyone had the extra freak-out of hearing her pronounced dead on TV and then showing up at school the next day.' Ellen admitted, seeming to have suddenly decided to discuss it after all.

'Me... I had a lot of friends in Kansas, but when I went to the music school, I only made one. Everyone else was so jealous and obsessed with being better than everyone else, and they all hated me because I could sing so well. So them finding out I was Delta didn't really make anything worse.'

'Wow, how did she first express?' Pressing the question seemed worth while at the time, and my curiosity was piqued.

I paused, realizing it was unlikely Ellen would talk about her friend behind her back, but hoped she might let something slip. 'Never mind, it's probably not something I should ask you.' I offered as the silenced stretched to an uncomfortable length.

Ellen leaned against me and shrugged. You've tried once or twice in the past. 'It's...' she hesitated. 'Mine isn't something I like to talk about. I hope you can be okay with that. And Sarah... if you push her too hard she'll shut down on you completely. Trust me... I watched her do it to Kat when we broke up. Just froze her right out.'

I nodded in understanding 'We all have secrets. Now where was I?' I paused before continuing my tale of running away when I was fifteen. Ellen interrupting me when I reach the part about shredding my waterbed.

'Oh, ouch! No wonder you were all stressed about wearing my nightshirt.' She said in sympathy. I nodded, grateful she understood at last, before preparing to continue.

Ellen shook her head. 'That's terrible. The loss of control... but even worse the lack of trust.' She reached out and put a hand on my leg.

Her eyes twinkled. 'That's why I've practiced so much. I don't want to lose control and accidentally blow out someone's ear drums.' She held out her hand and snapped her fingers, the sound of firecrackers erupting in the sudden silence.

She grinned and snapped them again, a peal of thunder echoing across the living room.

As I opened my mouth o reply she did it a final time, the familiar Ahooga of an antique car horn making me giggle. 'You should join the drama club at your college, you could do all the sound effects, it'd be awesome!' I suggested, marveling at her control.

Ellen laughed. 'No, I like acoustical engineering. I can use my ears, and help people find better sounds on their own.' I nodded relaxing against her, the noises having oddly helped ease the tension I'd felt rising from my recollection..

'Plus, I'm no genius, but I seem to have an instinct for the physics of sound.' She finished, as I continued with my story.

'So there I was, in some unknown part of New York, Harlem I think it was, in the middle of the night, at it was just beginning to snow.'

'I hope you turned into a Polar Bear and stole someone's coke.' Ellen interrupted me with a laugh.

'Not quite,' I answered her resuming my tale, pausing as she interrupted me again when I reached the part about dumpster diving for dinner.

'Eew. Alley food.' She made a face.

I giggled looking back at her. 'I'd ran away before supper so I didn't really care. Besides, it tasted okay.'

'Once, I dared Sarah to eat a bug. I thought it would gross her out but she just popped in her mouth. She said it was crunchy. And I was the one who got grossed out instead.'

I giggled her comment reminding of my own similar experience. 'I've ate bugs before when I experimented being a bat, some of them are kinda sweet, like starburst candies.' I winked at her just to see if it would get a rise.

'Oh! Bats! I can do sonar, too!' She blushed. 'Not as good as a bat. I can make the sound and hear it bounce, but it doesn't make a map in my head or anything.' She finished, sounded mildly disappointed.

'That's neat, I wonder if you could use it underwater with more clarity?' I suggested, recalling my own experiences as a dolphin.

'Maybe. I'm not a very strong swimmer, though.' She added doubtfully.

I gave her hand a squeeze, recounting my brief experience as a stray, Ellen holding me by the end, as I realized she could feel the ups and downs through your pulse and heartbeat and breathing. I She snuggled closer to Ellen, enjoying her warmth and feeling of connection.

'You are super weird.' She said unexpectedly, reaching up and tweaking my nose.

'After that runaway experience well, I like to run as an animal to de-stress, and have fun. Pigeon bombing some stuck up jackasses shiny new car is really a lot of fun, I can see why the birds do it.' I laughed again at the memory of my childish pranks. 'Normal is so over rated.'

Ellen snickered. 'Maybe. I've always worried about being normal.'

'I also experiment as an animal, I find it a lot of fun to see life through their eyes, have fun and play like they do.' I stopped myself short of mentioning my more intimate experimentation's, realizing such revelations would offend her delicate sensibilities.

'Just eating bacon as a dog is a whole world of new sensations, or chasing pigeons as an osprey.' I paused, searching for a comparison, 'You must have similar enjoyments listening to sounds humans can never hear, like the capacitors in a tv set charging up, and the skitter of mice in the attic?'

'Shifting is so much a part of me, being human is only a small part of my existence anymore.' I admitted, gently running a finger across Ellen's leg 'Of course with people like you in my life, it's one of the most enjoyable parts of my existence.'

Ellen shook her head, finally answering my question. 'I mostly tune it out. I hear too much.' She was quiet a second. 'I could hear it when the girl I loved, loved someone else.'

'You mean you heard them doing things? Or do you mean the way their hearts beat when they were near each other?' I paused, hoping it wasn't too pointed a question, but curious about my girlfriends Delta ability.

'I had a similar problem once, I was dating this girl, and there was this guy she claimed she was just friends with.' I began, hoping sharing my experience would perhaps help her come to terms with her own. 'One time she was rubbing my belly when I was a dog and I could smell him all over her, like everywhere.' I sighed, remembering the burning feeling of the betrayal.

'When I confronted her about why she smelled like Brad she tried to deny it, when I asked why she smelled like brad below the waist she accused me of invading her privacy, and then admitted to being with him.' I shrugged, the pain of the loss having dulled after all this time to little more than a faint ache.

Ellen began speaking a fraction of a second after I stopped. 'It wasn't like that, it was just her heart beat, the way her breath would catch when the other girl came into the room.' She shook her head. 'Kat wouldn't cheat. But...' she trailed off.

'Maybe she just found the girl physically appealing? You know like when you are browsing the net and a pop up of some hot movie star appears?' I suggested, wondering if she' drawn a hasty conclusion.

'They're still together.' Ellen said softly.

I nodded, leaning against her, realizing she may have picked up similar responses from me in the past. 'I'll admit I find plenty of girls attractive, but physical appeal is only part of the equation, it's who you are that makes me love you and the time we spend together.'

I glanced up into her eyes, 'All physical beauty fades in time, but your inner grace and splendor is eternal.'

Ellen pulled back, seeming to overlook my romantic gesture. 'No. It wasn't just a pretty girl. They're in love. I was in love, but that only made one of us.'

'You've got me now dear, and I'm not going anywhere.' I set up just far enough to give Ellen a gentle kiss on the lips. Ellen returned the kiss, relaxing into me. She was quiet, but in a comfortable way.

'Even if I go off as a bird or a dog, I'll always find my back home to you.' I hesitated, debating whether or not to tell her about the times I regularly spent running around state parks as a velicoraptor and other small dinosaurs, deciding against it, given it was something Ellen could never experience, well unless...

'Sometime, if you're up for a wild bit of fun we should go to the state park, I'll take you on a run through the trees on my back as a velicoraptor,' I grinned, warming to the idea. 'You'd be the only girl in history to ride on dino back for real.' I gave her a sly wink, 'Oh and velicoraptors are covered in feathers, like a giant fluffy bird.'

Ellen looked at me like I'd gone insane, then she smiled, but shakes her head. 'I wouldn't let Sarah fly me places. I think I'll pass on the dinosaur ride.'

'Aww you have no idea what you're missing.' I leaned back against her, hiding my disappointment under a warm smile. If only she was more daring and free.

Ellen was quiet a moment. 'Sorry. Sometimes I wish I was more like Sarah. She'd take a ride. She'd wrestle you. if you let her.' She seemed to rethink that. 'I mean as a raptor.'

I giggled at the idea. 'I'd enjoy that, but as a raptor I'm afraid I'd wind up hurting her, when I shift I gain some of their instincts and behaviors, it's how I can fly as a bird and swim as a dolphin.'

Ellen smiled. 'I just mean... Sarah's the adventurous one.'

'Life's meant to be lived hon, when you're eighty and we're sitting together in a pair of rocking chairs on our porch you'll wish you'd gone riding on my back when you were younger.' I have her a playful poke, realizing too late I was implying we would still be together that far in the future.

'I don't know. We're not all made for adventure and excitement. It's weird. I get these amazing abilities... but all I want to do is help people make music.' Ellen replied after a moments thought.

'Helping people is what we're meant to do with our abilities, I volunteer at the children's hospital all the time in the summer to give them horsie and tiger rides.' I grinned at the fond memories. 'Nothing makes a little kid smile than being able to ride on the back of a zebra or a piggy back ride from a gorilla.'

Ellen nodded, seeming to have reached some other conclusion while I was talking.

'Anyway, I've been thinking...'

I rolled around and looked up at her, wondering what was on her mind.

'I'm going back to San Francisco for the summer. Sarah will stay here for summer courses, but I have to go home and spend the summer with mom. Well, not HAVE to. Over the summer... I want you to have fun. I don't want you to feel... trapped while I'm away.'

I gave her a puzzled expression, trying to work out what she was saying. 'Trapped?'

'We've just gotten here, and in two weeks I'm leaving for three months. It doesn't seem fair. I'm not... I don't want it to end... but for the summer... I don't want you to feel like I expect you to just wait here for me.'

I nodded in understanding 'Like when we first started dating you told me to feel free to be with other girls for my needs?' I paused, a bit surprised at Ellen's open mindedness on the subject when she was so reserved in other areas.

'Not just that. Just... I don't know. It's hard to explain.' She seemed to think a moment. 'I'm not saying go wild. I'm just saying, don't let me keep you from enjoying everything the summer has to offer. It's your last summer as a kid.'

I grinned at Ellen's choice of words. 'Well going wild has a different meaning for me then most people.' I paused briefly searching for the correct words. 'Let's just say as an animal I have instinctual urges, desires, and exploring the joys of pleasure in other forms is something I've enjoyed since that time I ran off to live with the alley dogs.'

I winced a little at the truth of it, but pressed on, 'It's just part of being wild and free you could say, but with you is where my heart lays. And I'm no kid!' I slapped Ellen's leg playfully, giving her a brief tickle behind the knee.

Ellen laughed, 'Being a kid isn't a bad thing. I just want you to enjoy the summer, without worrying about anything.'

I nodded, 'Alrighty, I'd tell you to do the same but I'm not sure you know how to have fun.' I giggled and tickled her again, thinking back to the blast we'd had on our second date.

'Oh is that so?' Ellen raised her hand, which begins to... blur just a bit... vibrating at high speed. 'I guess I'll just have to keep this to myself tonight.'

'Before you go for the summer though, I think we should make some more memories to hold on to.' I gave her a sly smile, sliding my hand up from behind her knee to more sensitive places.