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Comments: 20
Ideas: 13
Rating: 2
Condition: Stub
ID: 5578


June 22, 2010, 12:00 am

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The Tome of Encomiastic Psilomantic Mirabilium


The greatest book ever written! HA-HA!

Insert you madness spawned ideas here

Additional Ideas (13)

The Angry Bison
There is a tale among the tribal peoples of a great white bison that lives only to crush and kill innocent lone travelers. Some call this beast the offspring of a great sky devil and a hell witch. Others claim that this bison is the companion of a long lost shaman, a doughtily fat man with a cripple's limp and obese appearance. The truth is unknown, save that sometimes bodies are found, apparently crushed to death.

2009-01-21 10:13 AM » Link: [5578#69584|text]
The Malefescence of Ardor's Hue
Transmutation Spell

Malefescence of Ardor's Hue is an evil spell that turns almost any food, drink, treat, or consumable into a potent and fast acting toxin. This is limited to only those consumables that are red. Strawberries and apples are the most common victims of this spell, most red wines are unaffected by the spell since few are actually red, most being burgundy, maroon, or other shades never considered proper red.

2009-01-21 10:16 AM » Link: [5578#69585|text]
The Armor of Insanity
Cursed Magic Item

The armor of insanity is a dirty white robe that once donned offers magical protection equal to that of the best articulated plate armors. The downside to the armor is that once donned, randoms encounters with NPCs will have them automagically assume that the wearer is insane and likely should be avoided, or locked up in the looney bin. The robe smells vaguely of wet fish, sweat, and rhubarb.

2009-01-21 10:19 AM » Link: [5578#69586|text]
Seems to me that most adventuring parties get avoided as insane and dangerous anyway...

2009-01-21 06:14 PM » Link: [5578#69594|text]
Interlocking Skulls of Igg-Ababbu

Seven leering skulls each missing the lower jaw, each one slightly larger than the last, each one fitting perfectly into the other, these skulls are the phylactery of Igg-Ababbu, a foul and mad sorcerer indeed. It is said Igg-Ababbu is immortal, a living lich, and that the only way to slay the odious wizard permanently is to unlock the seven interlocked skulls, removing each one in succession. But each time a skull is removed from the bone-puzzle, a beast appears, the summoned spirit of that skull's original owner, insane with rage at its imprisonment, and each must be defeated in turn, before the next skull can be removed. The skulls in succession are those of an imp, dire-goat, earthen grue, gryphon, giant troll, dire cave-bear, and dire-mammoth. Each time a spirit-beast is killed, Igg-Ababbu feels a sharp, splitting jolt of pain in his own skull. If all seven beasts are slain, the wizard's head explodes into a thousand bloody fragments.

2009-01-21 10:42 PM » Link: [5578#69611|text]
Death-Peek Beetles

In Falhoon, there are said to dwell huge beetles with incandescent wings, and it is known that the reflections from these wings, if cast by the sun from a silver mirror, and if gazed upon by the truly insane or mad, will reveal the nature of any man's death in a lucid vision to that onlooker, if the name of the individual is but spoken at the precise moment the silver-mirrored reflection is cast against the glistening wing of the beetle.

2009-01-22 01:02 AM » Link: [5578#69618|text]
Refined, Cooking-Oil Elementals

Everyone has heard of slithering crude-oil blobs and ink-black abominations of tar. But ever-rarer are the Elementals of the refined and edible oils. The pale-green Olive-Oil Elementals for example, or the Vegetable-Oil Elemental, particularly known for its clogging of all open orifices and their suffocating attacks. Mustard Oil, infused with caustic acid of the bitter plant, can spew the acid as an attack. Other types have been reported by shocked chefs, fry-cooks, oil-pressers and diners across the lands. These elementals are all quite flammable, and great care must be taken when battling a rampaging one.

2009-01-22 02:04 AM » Link: [5578#69619|text]
Healing Touch of Madness

An ancient technique rumored to have once been prevalent on the Island of Anxif. It involved maddening torture and continuous magical healing to grant insight into the future and cure the most tenacious of maladies. Some say the technique actually transported your body into it's next life, while keeping the mind and soul of your current life. In any case, the Island of Anxif is known for it's extremely healthy, if unstable, prophets.

2009-01-22 06:33 PM » Link: [5578#69636|text]
Umber Hulks
The people of the pitlands of Shur-Kalshesh have a unique custom, on the middle day of every week it is customary for them to dine upon fire roasted hunks of umber hulk flesh. An umber hulk, being much like a massive land crab, is known for it's unique... flavor and texture. The meat itself is rubbery and oily, and often catches fire if overcooked. however the skilletmeisters of Shur-Kalshesh pride themselves on being able to turn even this unpalatable meat into something worthy of a king's feast. It is well that they should, should the king be displeased, then the chef is usually on the menu the next day.

2009-01-24 12:42 AM » Link: [5578#69670|text]
Phil was playing a mid-level barbarian last night. While traversing the Trollfens, his merry little band was attacked by an odious mage, the self-styled Baron Shartol. The Warlock-Baron possessed a wand which fired bolts of "amberness", umm, amber-colored "rays" which solidified into blocks of actual amber, entombing the target, if a saving throw was failed. Phil got hit. Phil failed his save. Phil was encased in a massive block of solid amber. Phil had a question. What exactly would happen to his body if he was left in such a state for say, two hundred years, or longer. Phil wanted to know this; If an insect gets stuck in amber over a long period of time, starting with the drop of sap, it remains seemingly frozen in time, permanently show-cased through the amber, in the same form it was when it got stuck. What would happen to Phil's body, Phil thought? Now, at first he thought that he'd make a fine barbarian amber carving for all eternity, but then he thought, will not my body begin to decompose from the inside? And liquify over time? Does not the ant-in-amber's body shrink? Granted, there was little way bacteria and rot could set in, since the amber was solid (see real-world insect embedded thusly), but would not his body slightly whither? Would not his muscles atrophy, his organs melt away? In other words, what Phil wanted to gauge was this; Two hundered years later, will i be a perfectly frozen barbarian, waiting for a dispel magic spell, and then right back to action? Or, will the fact that my body will shrink and slightly decompose, afterall, if the body is stuck solid but then slightly shrinks, creating a bubbble of emptiness, a pocket of air (is it oxygen though or something else?), will mean at the end of the day, that i will end up a liquid stew, suspended inside a barbarian-physique-shaped hollw bubble?

Googling didn't work.

2009-01-29 03:52 PM » Link: [5578#69812|text]
The two main culprits in decomposition are bacteria and oxygen, both of which would be a very short supply inside an amber prison. I am sure that all the digestive enzymes and whatnot will continue their chemical breakdown of organic matter, namely the organs that occupy the abdomen. Insects preserve well because of their chitinous exoskeleton. I imagine that their internal organs are little more than soup at best, dessicate residue at worst. Your barbarian friend would remain the ant in amber, but his guts would digest themselves and while most of him would be likely reconizable, a good part of his impression would be a blackish sludge whever gravity pulled the longest.

2009-01-30 12:22 AM » Link: [5578#69826|text]
Also, there is no oxygen for those encased in amber (as far as we know). So the barbarian would choke to death rather quickly. A dispel magic, even if he was otherwise preserved, would not be enough to awake him. He is dead.


2009-01-30 08:30 AM » Link: [5578#69831|text] Delete Edit
The thought of near-instant asphyxiation had occured to Phil, but he was focusing more on the state of his physical body. He assumed a 'raise-dead' spell would be provided with along with the 'dispel magic'....someday :-) If Phil was a "soup" however at the time he was found, raise dead would no-worky. Hence, his anxieties (lol)

Phil thanks you gentlemen for your sage thoughts. (I'm trying to get Phil to join the site. He did, user-name, 'Dolomite', but hasn't been on since. Grrr)

2009-01-30 11:48 AM » Link: [5578#69838|text]
While Google failed, Wikipedia concurs - not only would poor Phil "immediately" suffocate, his organic structure would break down over time leaving only a well equipped skeletal warrior for some necromancer to animate some number of years later.

"The resin contains, in addition to the beautifully preserved plant-structures, remains of insects, spiders, annelids, frogs,9 crustaceans, marine microfossils10 and other small organisms which were trapped by the sticky surface and became enveloped while the exudation was fluid. In most cases the organic structure has disappeared, leaving only a cavity, with perhaps a trace of chitin. Even hair and feathers have occasionally been represented among the enclosures. Fragments of wood frequently occur, with the tissues well-preserved by impregnation with the resin; while leaves, flowers and fruits are occasionally found in marvelous perfection. Sometimes the amber retains the form of drops and stalactites, just as it exuded from the ducts and receptacles of the injured trees. It is thought that, in addition to exuding onto the surface of the tree, amber resin also originally flowed into hollow cavities or cracks within trees, thereby leading to the development of large lumps of amber of irregular form.11" ---

2009-03-29 04:22 AM » Link: [5578#70977|text] Delete Edit
Can a carpet of flying be used underwater? I can't think of any overwhelming reason why magical flight of any kind, wouldn't function underwater. Maybe at one-half or one-third speed at least?

2009-01-30 11:43 AM » Link: [5578#69837|text]
I would say it very much depends on how the magic carpet produces it's flying effect. Planes use speed and wing-shape to produce upward pressure. Once it overcomes gravity, the plane lifts off. If the magic carpet is simply negating gravity for itself and anything on top of it, and then imparting velocity, there's no real reason it wouldn't work underwater. Moving down might prove slightly challenging for an object used to fighting against a downward pull instead of an upward push. Perhaps 'flying' lower underwater requires the carpet to be upside down?

2009-02-20 12:57 AM » Link: [5578#70154|text]
The Burned Falcon of Carassian

How did this trap come into being? Carassian Of The Many Obsessions captured a wild falcon and closed them into a large furnace, setting it on fire. The poor beast desperately tried to fly out of it, roasted alive, while the necromancer chanted his vile magics of contagion. When some adventurers opened the furnace, heavily locked and barricaded, an insane undead spirit of the bird flew out, half-immaterial, with burning claws and wings. It set the area on fire and killed many, before it could be destroyed by water and clerical magics.

What led Carassian to dislike falcons is unknown. But if the legends of his obsessions were half true, there must be more creatures of this kind out there.

2009-02-18 03:52 PM » Link: [5578#70148|text]
Kirgan's Death Spell

Kirgan was a potent magician, claiming mastery over space and time. This spell is proof of how far he got in his study. Casting it on a creature or an object of reasonable size, the target will from all directions appear to rapidly accelerate away, in essence shrinking into nothingness. The object is thrust from our spacetime and reality, vanishing from view and existence. The only problem late Kirgan didn't count with, is the inherent elasticity of dimensions and the connection the caster forms with his target, like a bungee rope. After a random period (on average a year, but can be anything) is the object or person thrown with large speed back into this reality, targeting the caster. The target is relativistically slowed down, so it probably won't notice what happened and can leave on its own (if it survives the high-speed collision).

Kirgan was found crushed into pulp on the wall of his apartment. The cause was never found, might have been that troll he made vanish last year.

2009-02-22 10:04 AM » Link: [5578#70167|text]
This can be defended against by noting the direction that the banished object will return from, and placing a sturdy object in the way. Alternately, a spell of protection should accomplish the same thing. Unfortunately, it is entirely likely that someone who miscasts the spell will have their target bungee back to them from their inside, resulting in an explosion of gore and the death of the caster.

2009-02-22 02:41 PM » Link: [5578#70171|text]
Yes, there are defenses possible and a swift caster may jump behind an appropriate cover... the problem is, that it is never quite certain, when the object will bounce back.

As for the second option... oh yeah. If you cast this spell at all, you better do it properly!

2009-02-22 05:13 PM » Link: [5578#70173|text]
The Broken Symbol Of Lightnings

They are two pieces of metal, burned, charred and bent beyond recognition. They are worthless. And yet they are hidden away in some safe place, never to appear in the public again.

It happened on a cocktail party, with all of the city's finest around. The Yellow Archmage, a prideful man who commanded little respect from anyone, was accosted by an unknown attacker. A cursed arrow targeted him, but due to luck or hidden protection, it missed - and killed his favorite courtesan.

The Yellow Archmage steamed for a while, raging without a word. Universally held for a pushover and clumsy spellcaster, the noble society observed him with quiet glee. He rushed to a priest of the god of justice and took his symbol. That was outrageous. But then he uttered a spell in words, which couldn't possibly bear magic and tore the symbol asunder:

Master and Servant
Tool and the Hand
Guilty as Charged
Order, Demand

Then lightning stroke. It killed the assassin, fleeing the party through back alleys. It struck down some anonymous middlemen in a dark inn room in the shady parts of the town. It also killed a personal assistant, promptly followed by his master, a rival of the Yellow Archmage, present at the very same party. To which he darkly intoned only: "So be it."

Then he fell, dead. It seems the last strike killed him as well, though no wound was found on his body.

The whole incident was hushed up, an accident they say. But the debates are raging now. Priests and wizards don't mingle, or is it possible to cross that boundary? Was he actually a priest in hiding? Not very likely. Could he call upon the aid of a god? That would constitute a miracle, that is against all that is known of this deity. Maybe he asked for it and his life was taken as payment. Or he forced the effect against the will of a god and was punished... but such a thing was even less heard of.

The holy symbol was destroyed, not a bit of power in it left. But it is a sign with an uncertain meaning, evidence of something unprecedented, it makes wizards and grand priests equally afraid. It's better never found again.

2009-03-17 08:25 PM » Link: [5578#70718|text]
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Comments ( 20 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

January 21, 2009, 18:49
I'm afraid I don't quite get this one. All I see is three unrelated idea scroll posts. I think you might want to clarify what you want in this scroll. The submission itself consists of "Insert you madness spawned ideas here" and that could easily be a tag line for the entire citadel. Honestly, I'm baffled by this submission. I don't know if I should add submissions and scrolls that qualify as "madness spawned" or just ignore it. Please explain.
Cheka Man
January 21, 2009, 20:33
I am going to hold my vote for now.
January 21, 2009, 22:17
I have the feeling this was intended to be a hidden sub that didn't get set as hidden.
January 22, 2009, 8:54
Lads, your thinking way too hard about this. It supposed to be a fun scroll for whatever bizarre stuff you come up with. Short sweet twisted and strange.
January 22, 2009, 15:36
The silly freetext might then be appropriate. Not necessarily, but as a thought.
January 22, 2009, 11:33
So we're not supposed to vote on it then?
January 22, 2009, 17:02
As I'm understanding it, any wacky idea that doesn't quite qualify for idea seed, sub, stub, or scroll status (emphasis on wacky) qualifies for this scroll, yes?
January 22, 2009, 17:55
Such would appear to be the case.

As for uses for these rather strange anomalies, there are a number of them:
  • Use it as a random passage from your world's version of the Necronomicon
  • Everyone's heard the rumors of really strange, wacky things happening/existing. Let your players hear these as rumors from the townfolk.
  • Actually have them exist, perhaps as an experiment gone wrong, or even as a natural occurrence. Nature has shown some very very strange things before.
What other uses can you put these to?
January 24, 2009, 0:45
Added the Random Enounter and Silly freetexts. It this gets long enough, I'll add the 30 freetext as well.
January 24, 2009, 0:50
Unless I'm missing something, wouldn't all of these be right at home in the Idea Seeds section?
January 30, 2009, 11:51
What differs this from the Idea Seeds is the inherent touch of madness present here. I think. I believe Scras called it the 'Call of Cthulhu' for the main site :-)
Voted PseudonymDL
June 9, 2010, 9:11
Only voted

Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Macabre Style

       By: Scrasamax

The Macabre style of architecture is common in ancestor venerating societies, or societies that have been afflicted by a long term period of loss of life. The style is best noted for its use of a morbid and gruesome, skulls and bones, severed limbs and the like. It also alternately honors the spirits of the dead with stunning works of art, and mocks death through caricature and comedy. Macabre is the common architectural style in Ozea.

Ideas  ( System ) | June 1, 2006 | View | UpVote 1xp

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