There are a few incomplete sentences in the first part of the submission, no big deal there. This gives me the feeling of Napster back in the 90s, back when kids downloading music were being slapped with multi-million dollar lawsuits for their music lists. The social revolution idea I like, it fits well.
The chippers are not really 'evil', they just want to bring happiness to everyone. That makes them scarier.
And they are not exactly a cult - while cooperating eagerly, they somehow failed to create all the necessary trappings, literature, philosophy, or organize around a leader. But yes, someone could definitely use the Emotion to such a purpose. Go to Comment
You know, that last bit you added about the factory making thousands of chips really added what I thought was missing to the ending. I think the sub really flows together now. Good job manfred! Go to Comment
1. I like the way you covered the societal progression from Improved Life 3000 to Emotion 17. Nice realistic jumps.
2. I have to say it is slightly confusing at first, not so much because it is "technical", but it seems written in a very "for those who know how this stuff works" kind of way. Nothing wrong with that, just confusing to figure out the "gist" of the sub is, until i got to, "So what is Emotion 17"?
A series of rough pictures of herbs and poorly scribbled directions on how to prepare them. Everything is accurate but hard to read and very rudimentary. It will turn out that it is one of the first volumes written by a master druid or mage when they were only 7 years old. Among collectors, it is almost priceless. If returned to the owner, it would amuse him to see it again to the point where he we would bestow great favors. Go to Comment
There are crimes for which a man is not killed, but chased into the wilds, away from his home and country, to not return or be killed on the spot. In one culture is the condemned mutilated, and even his vocal cords are damaged so that the voice is unrecognizable to his friends and family. This is the punishment for people too obsessed with their own prestige.