I really like the idea of a kingdom linked to its king, and that a bad king would leave some kind of taint. But I don't get why Devil's Spit turns into iron when he absorbs its powers. Was it iron to begin with then, they say that in alchemy, stuff always return to their original form and what not, so is that it?
This is well-organized, and I like the included charts. However, this is not very generally useful to another campaign or setting. The only bits which are immediately "grab-able" are the bits about the lock & door, food and other supplies. Go to Comment
This looks really good (well written), and it was an interesting read, even though I hardly got any of it, and the "explanation" on that other page just made me more confused. However, this wasn't your idea, and you can only use it for GURPS, so yeah, there's that to consider. Go to Comment
I like the details outlining the high barons. The somewhat imperious title of "Dragon" is pretty rad too - I like the implications of not only a bodyguard, but a personal assistant and killer. You've left some to the imagination with that position, but I like the ambiguity and the implications it has.
I will check in with you game updates to see how this dude was received and used. I really like any write up that includes something as thoughtful as your intent and design section. Here are some questions you can toss around in your head
If remove the brainwash, or deprogram the character how would he act? Do you consider him to be a victim and if so how will you present that angle to your players?
Who calls him he wraith? Does he call himself this? Is it a title known to a select underworld few?
He would seem to understand human emotion, based on his social skill,even if he doesn't care for it. If he is sadistic though, than he is not indifferent to the feelings of others, indeed the feelings of other is something he would care about, all be it in a negative fashion. Is he particularly disturb or annoyed by those happy people.
Does he have a trusted staff or servant?
Who does he respect or who would he respect, aside from the Locust? Go to Comment
The Wraith is a creation of his mind, as well as the title used by others (both in the know and in rumors) to talk about his actions.
Levi truly was an empty and devoid person, even before the brainwashing. Without it, his first action would likely be to ruthlessly try and kill the Locust for using him.
Levi has a very penetrating view of human emotion- it is critical to how well he can manipulate others- a view that does nothing to persuade him that humanity is worthwhile. His own feelings, urges and goals are more important than the feelings of anyone else. Understanding others is a means to control and manipulate others, nothing more.
I may create such a servant at a later time. This is an aspect of the character I probably really should address. Go to Comment
Rather than making a baddy impossible to hit, consider giving it mega-hit points.
Super hard to hit leads to great player frustration. Allowing them to do damage leads to a sense of accomplishment. another variation of this would be to give the bad guy a forcefield that shows damage.You could also give them a mastermind ability that sluffs the damage of to minions who should be easy to kill.Once in a while a super high to hit encounter is ok ,but it should be few and far between.