I really enjoyed reading about Railus and the Circle of Blood, but now there's even more to look forward to. I think for these items to be at their best we need some more of the story. What happened when the apprentices tried to destroy Railus? I can't really guess because each scenario I think of brings more questions.
So, yes. Write-ups on Railus and Mordum would be most appreciated. Go to Comment
I read it and enjoyed it. It's nice to see an echanted ring that affects its wearer in subtle rather than overt ways. And the little part that describes how the art of necromancy is carried out in Sanctum further aadds to its appeal. Can we expect a write up on Fate and Bloomail as well? Go to Comment
The set up with the other rings hinted at some other form of undead, but this was a nice twist. Maybe a little more indepth description on how it attacks the person's insecurities would be nice. Nice way to complete the set, now how about a submission on Railus and Mordum?
For some reason I can't vote, but I will once it allows me to. Go to Comment
I'm not really seeing what makes these particularly special; the way they're described, they're essentially not much more than clockworks draped in rotting meat. I don't really see how they can be described as having dark magic involved if they're supposed to be getting around wards against magic.
I think there's potential here for something unique, but I don't think this lives up to anything close to the potential it might have.
Explain where and how the referenced magic comes into it, if you would, and perhaps explain what makes them something besides a clockwork assassin wearing a humanoid skin.
The kicker for me comes from the construct-corpse I was working on as a sub. Interesting to see the echo of the idea here. Go to Comment
This is quite a bit better; I have to agree with Ouro as well; it's a good idea, and much better in terms of being fleshed out than initially. It still has potential to get a bit better, and more detailed. Presumably when Sanctum and the Desecrator are submitted, the intertwining will help this sub.
The update made a world of difference. I really like the idea that the holy powers that usually destroy or hinder undead will have no effect on these horrors. That alone makes them very usable. I agree with David on the "leaving so many stones unturned" part.
There is a lot of potential to explore with this idea. I would keep adding to this piece as time goes on, maybe add a note out the effects of different types of magic/energies. I am especially interested in electricity damage and how they respond to necrotic effects. Some unique ways to combat them would be cool too. Go to Comment
Updated: It was late when I posted this and could have sworn I flagged it as In Work (viewable), but I guess I did not. Regardless, thanks for the comments, some more useful than others.
I added a description and a bit more information on how they work/made. I tossed a little tease in there about the Desecrator, which will actually tie into some of my other subs once I get his write-up done. Go to Comment
I'm not really a fan of steampunk, but I can see these things marching on civilization and its mildly terrifying. They definitely fit the feel of steampunk and like Gorgon said, as long as the technology exists in a game they could be easily adaptable. Go to Comment
Creatures of nightmare, the thankfully rare Mesnoi have unique form and attributes. Only one Mesnoi at a time will ever be "encountered".
In appearance, a Mesnoi resembles a walnut-sized chunk of freshly-roasted red meat from some uncertain yet familiar, edible animal. The insidious creature camouflages itself quite appropriately whenever it can, by slowly making its way amidst feast tables and trays of roasted meats.
Once eaten by the unsuspecting, the Mesnoi sinks down to the stomach, reforming if chewed, and begins to lap up the gastric fluids, digestive juices, and bile that it craves, like a sponge.
The Mesnoi carrier will experience mild to severe stomach pains during this time.
After a few hours of this (this is the only time that the Mesnoi can be purged with magic, or other mundane means), the Mesnoi transforms into its true form inside its victim, that of a miniature, once more walnut-sized, pot-bellied, devil-horned, snake-tailed imp. This horrid little creature then begins to chew and eat its way out of the victim from the inside out with its tiny, razor-sharp teeth, like a rat forced to do so via torture.
The victim almost always dies a slow, agonizing death. That much is certain. The devilish imp then exits its victim and begins its seventy two hour existence of mischief and malevolence, until it once more turns back into a hunk of roasted meat with the movement capabilities of a snail.