I understand your reasoning for finally joining! It matches the purpose we made the site in the first place.
Overall it was a great, bitter tale with an interesting twist at the end.
There are some small inconsistencies (he couldn't fathom 5000 years but you said he ruled for 3000 years for instance) and the thy's and thou's are more disrupting than mood setting to me, especially when the writing doesn't really conform to the usage (and doesn't use thine or thee instead of thou) without the rest being written towards that style. There is a certain change in language cadence when you use those words but these seem more a search & replace. It would do better without them. But practice makes perfect and I am thrilled you were brave and shared!
Overall it was a quick entertaining read for certain! Was happy to read it and greatly enjoyed it.
To further impress us, you may want to write another sub with the description of the Star Blade, the creation through the destruction, and that would be cool. Go to Comment
I would love to combine this with another bug that takes advantage of the missing sheen though. It attracts a mate, why not something else that may react with the blade.
Perhaps a fresh sheen removal attracts a certain spider that will spin a web cocoon around the "leeched" equipment. Chemicals in the web interact with the leeches excretion and solidify in some kind of uber hard reaction. The web can be removed but it is left with a reddish discoloration that is now much harder than the weapon/armor was. If it is leather, it is no longer supple or bendable. Works best on bladed weapons...but hope it is already sharpened. It will never lose its sharp blade but if it was dull or nicked when wrapped, it will be impossible to sharpen as well. Go to Comment
This about sums it up "...a girl with a tail is weird man, it's damned weird!"
I have no idea what to do with this. Just makes me think of the CSI episode where they were all dressed in furry costumes and were dry humping all over the place....and then I got more confused. Avatar? Go to Comment
I like this one a lot! Fun and entertaining to think about how it can be used. I would be tempted to go with Mourn's comment as well so the players could use it. Hate to see them die "by accident." Go to Comment
Ha, I was expecting something silly too and found something quite ominous. Love the idea that all ogres go there to give birth. Has a tribal, magical quality to it and then the whole ecosystem came alive with great creatures and the perfect amount of detail allowing us to use it effectively. I thought this was awesome! Go to Comment
Especially enjoyed the vision of one of them slinking up the side of the ships, their tentacles cautiously probing the edges of the ship and corridors as they prepare to fire the ship. Also enjoyed the idea that they can crawl on the ceiling and could easily grab any that come below them. Go to Comment
Maybe one could be trapped in an inland sea (loch ness monster style) and folks have always come to swim in the water there as it is known that it can help you solve your most desperate problems or give you the wisdom you need to do something great. Scholars and schools have grown up around the area to take advantage of the mystical "sea".
Unfortunately others return from the sea with a lobotomy. But such is the risk of true knowledge. Go to Comment
Has just about everything you need. Awesome back story that fits in well with the plots given. My favorite being the finding of the old uniforms. Thinking Resident Evil style mayhem! Not much to add as it is stand alone greatness. Go to Comment
A planet (or city, valley ect) where those who enter witness protection can escape old age and death itself, so they can live for centuries without aging-provided they maintain their cover perfectly. If they are outed by anyone or ever utter their true name, they age the number of years they have not aged since the day they entered witness protection (which might mean that they age centuries in seconds and crumble into dust and bone.)
Ideas ( System ) | September 3, 2008 |