I think it use a little clarification since it says that it can kill animals via a fast acting neurotoxin, but is not horribly dangerous to humans or larger creatures. Rather than a it touch you die effect, it might be a serious threat to children and the elderly or the infirm, while a healthy human, or horse is just going to be made very sick, displaying neurological symptoms from the 'hit'.
Certainly unique and something that I have never seen before! Keep it up! Go to Comment
Its short, and there are no major writing flaws such as bad spacing, or alot of misspelled words. I would like it better if there was more detail, possibly about the innitself, perhaps the style of clothing of the building itself seeming out of date with more regular inns. I am also curious to know what caused it to become a ghostly wandering inn in the first place.
A swirling hole in the sky, a swirling halo of bruised light showing in unnatural shades of nebulous purple and bilious green and gaseous burning blue. The center is darkness, nay, it is the very absence of light. The Eye stares forth, an eye ready to blink... /Lovecraft
Stout Lagerale, your stereotypical frothing at the mouth drunken dwarven berzerker. He came from a clan of beer brewers and he ran around with a thing called a tankard-axe, a pole-arm with a tankard with a blade handle mounted on the end of it. In true old school fashion, the tankard unscrewed so he could toss one back before getting into a bare knuckle brawl. Stout lived a moderately long life before meeting his untimely demise at the gaze of a medusa.
1. I would make the assumption that the basic spells of necromancy were originally created by Mastere, with (pulls out PHB for Matan) with spells like Soul bind, Create Greater Undead, and Finger of Death being the equivalent of signature spells. She was the basic founder of necromancy in my setting and the current repetoir of spells are either hers (Animate dead) or were built on her work. Finding a book of special spells, her custom grimoire would be something that the Church would work very hard to make sure didnt happen!
2. Mastere came from no book, only my demented imagination. I have a picture that I call Mastere and when the gallery is working I will post it. (not my artwork) Go to Comment
I like the idea, a healing imbued sword though I myself would make one change, if a mortal wound is inflicted on someone with the sword, they can still die. The regeneration should require a living host, so no bodies are going to grow new heads if they are decapitated with the sword. Despite the limb growing back, getting it chopped off in the first place is still going to hurt like who knows what! I would limit how many times this power could be used, perhaps something like once a day, or 3 times a week or something like that to keep it from becoming an arms factory har har! Go to Comment
Big fan of Starcraft, and this is a good write-up of the Protoss. The only thing that I would add would be the Xel'Naga and their quest to find perfection of Form, which they achieved in the Protoss, as each creature is so immune to age, disease, and such. As a side note, the Xel'Naga would later experiement with the Zerg race and the quest for the Perfection of Essence, creating the assimilating organic horror of the Zerg Swarms who would later devour the Xel'Naga themselves. Go to Comment
No story, barely an item, and the grammar was horrible.
round blade blade?
I know this review is harsh, and I want to say something constructive, something to encourage you to try again, or to even redo this submission. I dont know what to say along those lines other than dont give up! Go to Comment
When a miracle is worked, when a God turns His attention to the mortal realm, the mortal realm is irrevocably changed by the Divine Presence. When this takes place through a living being, they become the Godmarked. Ever with one foot in life, and one foot in the realm beyond, they are emotionally and physically altered - always in a fashion that reflects the nature of the God that they have channeled - One who channels a God of the Winds may forever have a breeze lifting their hair, while a Goddess of Anger may blacken the skin and strengthen the body.
Encounter ( Any ) | November 28, 2016 |