There's... Quite a bit of coincidental things here. He just happens to know a nigh-untraceable killer who poses as a merchant? The king, having trusted him with such a high position in the first place, takes it at face value that the mage intended to kill him and seize the throne? A large number of people angling for the throne, all in cahoots, none of whom think that perhaps allying themselves with this potent mage and turning in their allies might get them a better clear shot at the throne? It seems more than a bit implausible to me, to be honest.
Also, if you were to wait a few hours for the dagger's blade to dissolve, I'm fairly sure the corpse's blood will be well on the way to congealing within the body, rather than fluid enough to have anything dissolved in it. Likewise, as was mentioned before, if the mage just wanted revenge, what exactly is the point of the dagger's hilt dissolving to become the home of a 'death wraith'?
And one particular nitpick on spelling/word choice: dissolvement? I get what you're intending with it, but 'dissolving' and 'dissolution' are both perfectly functional words for it. Go to Comment
The image that strikes me the most is the clockwork on the belt; shades of the Probable Sword from The Scar, but wholly redone and quite well-made. I am solidly impressed with this gadget and think it fits well into just about any steampunk setting. Quite well-done, sir! Go to Comment
I, for one, would be sorely disappointed if you weren't able to produce something. In my opinion, of all of us here, you most perfectly capture the essence of the steampunk genre in your submissions. Go to Comment
I might have to track down Iron Council at some point; I've read the other two, although I admit some components of his writing put me off a bit. I keep looking at Kuramen, and feeling that there's still too much of a classical fantasy influence to it, while Locastus has, to me, a much purer steampunk vibe to it.
Maybe I should compare notes with you at some point... Go to Comment
It's a synthesis - the various spirits within it have no individual volition of their own; instead, somewhat like a hive, the Grey Reaver is an emergent thing - a personality and mind that represents the most dominant personality traits of those trapped within it. This does mean that, as it pursues and kills, the personality it has changes as the original spirits become fewer and fewer. It's possible, although unlikely, that a Grey Reaver might eventually have only one 'original' soul left in it, which would give it the same personality and attitude, but still driven by the need for vengeance. Go to Comment
The voice was the part that was the most important bit, in my opinion. I wanted something that would make it clear that this wasn't just some rotting golem, or a single nefarious 'thing' that happened to be assembled from detritus, but a walking nightmare comprised of the vengeance of many. Go to Comment
Undead are something I seem to be specializing in, as far as creatures go... Personally, I'd rank this one below the Greendeath and the Parched in terms of fearsome potential, but it's pretty well up there.
This is actually covered in the submission: until everyone who was part of the event, or their descendants, are killed by it, it keeps hunting them. When all their lineages are quashed, it collapses with the souls of those it has slain trapped within the rotting heap for all time. Go to Comment
It's not even an undead; it's an immortal mind, driven to madness, which is quite lonely. The fact that trying to create companions is a horrific, brutal, painful death for those it tries to transform is irrelevant to it. Go to Comment
It was originally written for a 3.5e Kuramen PBP that folded due to posting failures; as a result, it is heavily modeled on the race 'format' you can find in the 3.5e Player's Handbook, which tends to be on the short and condensed side. I did clip off the rule-related data, both because this is partly for the PBP here and because Kuramen doesn't rely on any particular ruleset. Go to Comment
"Never was there something so aptly named, in my most humble opinion. Even from my post as an observer for His Grace, some distance from the fringe of the battlefield, the thunderous roar of the Lances wielded by the phalanxes was shocking, as if a dragon had chosen to appear on the field; the light often overshadowing the sun itself for a heartbeat. Were it not for their holy duty, I would think them devices crafted in the bowels of the world." -Chaplain Longfellow
"A fury hotter than my wife's when she's angry at my drinking, and twice as deadly, I'll say. I'm more than glad to be the bellows-man, back away from that roaring beast's mouth." -Bellowsman Hunt
"The best way to deal with them? Archers. Send men into that inferno and you'll get back naught but screaming near-dead and corpses. Get your archers to go for their bellowsmen. With luck, you'll wreck the bellows, and then you can send your men charging - as long as they're not quick to fit a second." -Commander Gryss Go to Comment
Magic should have side effects, both expected and unexpected - fortuitous and deplorable. Expected side effects add anticipation, while unexpected ones increase the drama of the scene. The result can be comedic or dire, it dpends on which circumstances work best for your game.
Ideas ( System ) | February 8, 2005 |