We'll go with what Muro said: interesting, and entirely believable. I have issue with the description at the beginning, where it was described to the casual observer as a wiggling grain of rice, combined with the one at the end, where it has grown to the size of a rat. The two simply don't seem to match properly. A bit better explanation would be nice.
Otherwise, an interesting fellow you have here. Keep up the submissions, I'm liking what I'm reading. Go to Comment
Greetings, and welcome to the Citadel. Glancing at what you've got there, I believe some advice is in order:
Firstly, something to keep in mind is that this is not a fiction site per-se. Strolen's Citadel is primarily a website devoted to generating resources for gamemasters to use in roleplaying games, not simply for publishing stories. From what you have there, it seems to me you're looking more for a place to put out your work for others to read than to provide a self-contained resource for gamemasters. I'd suggest you do a Google search for "writing forums" or something similar, to find such a place. I'm quite sure they'll also be open to helping you improve your writing in all aspects.
Secondly, if you were trying to start a general roleplay, you should go over to the Forum. We have a specific area for freeform roleplaying: http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/board,5.0.html
Lastly, spellcheck is most definitely your friend, as is capitalization. You might try reading what you wrote aloud to get an idea of how jumbled and hard to read it is. We're definitely not Grammar Nazis here, but we ARE writers, after a fashion.
Once again, welcome to the Citadel. Hopefully you'll stay around and help generate new ideas. We always love having new folk appear. Go to Comment
If the sub had been submitted fully, then yes, I'd say it needs tossing out. But since it's marked as advice requested, I decided to be a bit nicer, and actually offer advice before calling down the smite. Go to Comment
30 Beers Articles (Campaign)
(Gaming - In General)
Wow. This was certainly a longer read than normal. I think a few parts weren't really valid questions (the time-displaced gods, for instance), but otherwise I think this is useful for getting away from the 'traditional' D&D pantheon (#25 I believe...). Go to Comment
Much discussion followed this one in chat. Muro suggested a multitude of uses for trickster-types, to which I responded that it didn't have to respond immediately to changes in emotion. Sure negative emotions could hurt it quickly, but the positive ones could take a while to change it. Just a way to limit these from being much more than nifty background fluff. Go to Comment
I'm not entirely sure such would be possible. The petals are extremely fragile, and the distilled liquid not much better. I highly doubt either would survive launch without activating. An interesting proposition, however. Go to Comment
This particular submission has re-inspired me. I must thank you for such a good sub (though the history seems like it cut off early, and could've been enhanced more). Long live steampunk and the ideas it spawns! Go to Comment
Something to consider is that powerful countries don't necessarily have the resources to field a large number of these. Depending on any number of factors, these could result in a global Cold War, or roughly the equivalent to the US after WWII, when we were the only ones with The Bomb for a while.
Heck, you only need one to be the most dangerous world power. Go to Comment