11 Votes


Hits: 6262
Comments: 12
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.0455
Condition: Normal
ID: 3307


January 15, 2007, 4:24 pm

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Beard of the Magus


By Merlin’s Beard!

In all the tales of mages and wizards, is there not a single conjurer of the arcane arts who knew how to shave? Merlin did have a long beard, as did his Tolkien counterpart Gandalf the Gray. Dumbledore of the Harry Potter books also has a long snow white beard. It is well known that a staff and pointy hat do not a mage make, ah but a beard is something quite different. In many cultures, the long white beard is a symbol of wisdom and learning, and such symbols can be…counterfeited.

Full Item Description
The Beard of the Magus is a rather strange magic item that was created a number of years ago by a rather inept apprentice who had very little talent for the magical arts and like Modock the Magniloquent had a great interest in looking and acting the part. To this end he concocted a scheme that involved adding a sleeping powder to his master’s evening cordial, shaving him in his sleep and then casting Magic Aura on the collection of hair that he had bound with materials used to make wigs.

Until donned the Beard of the Magus looks like some sort of dead animal with a strap on it. Putting it on, however, awakens the stupendous powers of the Beard, or something like that.

Magic/Cursed Properties
Once donned and propperly groomed, everyone who sees the wearer of the beard will automatically assume he or even she is a competent mage. If someone who shouldn’t be able to pull such a disguise, such as an animal, child, a woman, etc, viewers will assume that the mage in question has enchanted himself to look different and it is very rude to point out a problem with a mage’s illusion spells, since some people are more or less affected by them. The beard has no other powers.

Plot Hooks
The Shaggy Mage - hot on the trail of a fleeing evil sorcerer, the PCs discover an animal wearing the beard, what can they assume but that their foe has poorly attempted to Polymorph himself to escape their wrath. Imagine their surprise when the evil arch-fiend turns out to be a local farmer’s plow-horse, and them how mad he is going to be at the PCs for chopping up said plow horse.

The Pretender - A charlatan has found the beard and divined its powers. He combines a small flair for illusionary magic with the aura of the beard to pass himself of as a faux-mage and subsists on a steady income supplied by a duped lord who is afraid of the mage by tiring of his strange demands and constant hunger for gold.

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Comments ( 12 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Cheka Man
November 8, 2006, 14:56
Very funny indeed.
Voted manfred
November 8, 2006, 15:28
Hah! Now that's a sweet one.

Goes nicely along with other magical items that fake its wearers potential.
Voted the Wanderer
November 8, 2006, 16:59
Definately a nice little item to have around.
Voted Wulfhere
November 8, 2006, 22:40
I used to have one of those, but my wife made me get rid of it.

I can see items of this sort proliferating: The Goatee of the Pharaoh, which makes one appear to be a wise and benevolent ruler; The Spade Beard of the Captain, suitable for those leading troops; The Beard of the Prophet, which makes one appear to be a wild-eyed holy man; and the unfortunate Beard of the Mendicant, which is infested with small parasites.
November 9, 2006, 11:29
That comment alone was enough to make me spew coffee while reading. ROFLMAO
Voted Dozus
November 8, 2006, 22:48
Heh, nice.
Voted MoonHunter
November 9, 2006, 11:31
A nice little item. A touch of backstory, an items with a realistic function, and nicely written. *golf clap*
Voted valadaar
November 9, 2006, 13:52
How come I have visions of someone cruel animating one of these things???
Voted Murometz
November 9, 2006, 20:02
Funny and usable! And of course exasperating to PCs.

It also reminded me that I never commented on Modock the Magniloquent, which I will now correct(tomorrow). I give the word Magniloquent a 4.5!
Voted Iain
November 11, 2006, 7:23
Not to mention being very useful to low level PC mages with delusions of grandeur, should they manage to get hold of it. Suddenly, everyone believes them when they say, "I am a powerful mage" leading to predictable effects on their ego.
Voted DrTurtlesse
May 11, 2009, 22:20
Only voted
Voted ScorpionJinx
August 5, 2011, 9:20

I can see this taking on a life of it's own. Literally. As Valadaar suggested, what if someone animated the beard?

Or if there was a parasite that mimicked the Beard of the Magus in appearance? It could feed off of the host's energy.

Beware of the Beard.

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       By: Murometz

The food that eats you back.

Creatures of nightmare, the thankfully rare Mesnoi have unique form and attributes. Only one Mesnoi at a time will ever be "encountered".

In appearance, a Mesnoi resembles a walnut-sized chunk of freshly-roasted red meat from some uncertain yet familiar, edible animal. The insidious creature camouflages itself quite appropriately whenever it can, by slowly making its way amidst feast tables and trays of roasted meats.

Once eaten by the unsuspecting, the Mesnoi sinks down to the stomach, reforming if chewed, and begins to lap up the gastric fluids, digestive juices, and bile that it craves, like a sponge.

The Mesnoi carrier will experience mild to severe stomach pains during this time.

After a few hours of this (this is the only time that the Mesnoi can be purged with magic, or other mundane means), the Mesnoi transforms into its true form inside its victim, that of a miniature, once more walnut-sized, pot-bellied, devil-horned, snake-tailed imp. This horrid little creature then begins to chew and eat its way out of the victim from the inside out with its tiny, razor-sharp teeth, like a rat forced to do so via torture.

The victim almost always dies a slow, agonizing death. That much is certain. The devilish imp then exits its victim and begins its seventy two hour existence of mischief and malevolence, until it once more turns back into a hunk of roasted meat with the movement capabilities of a snail.

Ideas  ( Lifeforms ) | December 4, 2015 | View | UpVote 6xp

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