Mythic/ Historical

10 Votes


Hits: 2787
Comments: 27
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.5
Condition: Normal
ID: 5454


November 21, 2008, 9:08 pm

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Cheka Man

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Verdichtung, Reaver of Steam


As the world grows and changes, so to do the gods. One such creature is Verdichtung, Reaver of Steam.

"At first we thought an angel’d come down to lead us in the fight, all silvery and draped in steam. Instead, she drew us out of the wreck of our artillery, all of us except Simmons, who we could hear screaming in fear when… Something else came fer him. None of us wanted to leave the poor bastard, but we couldn’t deny her will. When the time comes, sir, we’ll drop a shell right on Fenrir’s thick skull fer you, and fer Simmons."
-Gunner Jameson Jurgens, deceased


Standing nearly ten feet tall, Verdichtung appears to her chosen ones as a beautiful and powerful warrior woman, clad from neck to toe in thick, heavy armor, encrusted with eternally turning gears, while vast clouds of steam boil forth from every joint. Great wings extend from her back, all constructed of silvery metal fragments like feathers, connected by an intricate system of gears and pistons to her body.

At her side, she carries in a single hand a weapon usually served by entire crews of men, a six barreled, steam-driven machine-gun, whose ten pressure gauges fluctuate wildly with every motion Verdichtung makes, and which spits thunder and lightning wherever it is turned, shattering the battlefield.

As the steam revolution began, mighty Odin looked upon the battlefield, and saw how the world and their way of war had changed. And he saw that many valiant warriors, warriors he would require at the day of Ragnarok, were dying, and being left behind by the Valkyries who understood not these new ways. And so, he raised his hand, and created a new reaper of the dead, a child of war wrought with steam and steel and lead, to range through those who fought with guns and tanks, and to lead them to his ranks. And so, Verdichtung was born, and loosed upon the world.

Like her sister valkyries, Verdichtung exists to find the souls of the consummate warrior, and return them to Valhalla. A goddess of death, she is merciless, and like her sisters, though there are those who are glad to see her indeed. Unlike her sisters, however, she is specialized in finding the brave and accurate amongst gunners, tank crews, and bombadiers, reaping them so that they might serve as artillery in the Final War.

When the time comes, and Ragnarok is upon us, she shall lead the tanks along the front lines, commanding the power of the artillery through the very radios that served them upon the Earth, and the children of Darkness shall learn the power of steam and steel indeed.

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Comments ( 27 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

November 21, 2008, 21:23
I probably shouldn't vote, since I was involved in this, but... Muhuhaha. This daughter of Odin is glorious.
Voted Murometz
November 21, 2008, 21:45
I'm not 100% sure how I'd use her, but what a stunning visual! I really like the juxtapose of the steam revolution beginning and Odin looking down on the battlefields. Original.
Siren no Orakio
November 21, 2008, 22:03
She's a myth. Someone for a tank crew to pray to as they charge the gap, or for an artillerist to pray to as the shells come raining in. She's the cold comfort and mercy of the dying. She's a valkyrie, and when she shows up, everything has gone south.
November 21, 2008, 23:37
works for me. I love her.
November 21, 2008, 23:45
It basically started when I told him via IM, "Steampunk valkyrie".

His response was "Do you want to write it up, or shall I?"
Voted Cheka Man
November 21, 2008, 23:06
A modern battle-maiden. 5/5
Voted valadaar
November 24, 2008, 12:03
Damn! This quest is turing out some truely excellent submissions! Well done folks!
Voted angryscotsman93
January 18, 2009, 21:36
Dude, this entry makes me wanna jump for joy: mainly because it reminds me of one of my favorite games, Warhammer 40,000! No matter how I look at this, I can't help but imagine her as an Imperial saint; not just any saint, but the saint of warriors! The saint of artillery men and tank crews as they charge into combat, scattering the infantry like ash to the wind! The saint of tech-priests, braving the storms of war to bless the great war-machines of the Imperium with the sacred hymns of the Omnissiah! The saint of those incredible few those who are given the most holy right of piloting the Imperium's great war-titans to combat their enemies!

Okay, got a little excited there. Whatever. Either way, this is cool, man! I like the idea of a god looking out onto a changed world and thinking, "Oh, well- the horned helmets and pillaging had a good run. I wonder who here knows about armored personnel carriers..." But just imagine this: an entire regiment of Imperial Guardsmen from an elite Elysian Stormtroopers unit are dropped onto a world, along with an entire armored regiment (complete with artillery), a few regular infantry units, and a demi-legion of War Titans, because their transports were attacked in orbit. Upon landing on said world, they are attacked by a veritable who's who of evil, spanning throughout mankind's nightmares. The Guardsmen fight onwards, those of them who fall dying screaming their deity's name at the top of their lungs. Just as the very NOTION of defeat enters their minds, a visage of gold and silver comes slashing down from the heavens with a whole army and leads the Imperials in their time of need. She introduces herself as Verdichtung (who'd ah thunk it, eh? Heh.), and asks the Imperial units to assist her in the great war the has swallowed her world, known to Rogue Traders as the world of Asgard IV, or simply as Asgard. Most of the men are happy to comply with her wishes, believing her to be an Imperial saint risen from the grave, but the colonel of the Elysian Stormtroopers, as well as his elite 1st Company, are rather suspicious of this strange person who has suddenly appeared before them...
January 19, 2009, 0:01
This one is all in the telling. And the telling doesn't need to be long either. Short, well crafted, and beautiful in an indescribable way. Very nicely done S.
December 18, 2009, 11:18
What a powerful visual. I can't help but hum something by Wagner as I read it :)
December 23, 2010, 11:01

and Bump again, a year later...

Voted Phaidros
September 4, 2011, 15:42
Nice visual, good idea to have old one-eye Odin keeping up with the times. Has anyone an idea of what a present day Valkyrie would be?
Siren no Orakio
September 5, 2011, 13:31
The aesthetics would be guided by ICBMs, unmanned aerial vehicles, and flak jackets. And, of course, the ever present AK-47.
Voted EchoMirage
December 16, 2011, 6:01

What visuals! Delightful!

It would be even better if she had a persona, and was more readily useable in role-play.

December 16, 2011, 6:30
Only voted
Voted Chaosmark
December 16, 2011, 23:14

Three years later, I'm still loving it.

May 22, 2012, 5:06
More dakka!
March 7, 2013, 16:47
5 years later, I'm still loving the imagery here. Bump!
Voted MysticMoon
March 16, 2013, 1:52
Excellent. Wish I had a painting. 5/5 and an HoH
Voted Scrasamax
March 16, 2013, 13:51
I think about Verditchtung from time to time, as I work on the machines where I work.
Voted axlerowes
March 24, 2013, 15:23
It is a tight clear and concise write up. The attributes its brings are essentially aesthetic not conceptual or narrative, and to be fair aesthetic considersation are the bread and butter of the steam punk. The description of her at the beginning is really well written and clear.



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