Resembling a small bronze head of a venerable sage, the translator is perfectly able to understand any language used by intelligent beings, via a telepathical link (the speaker must understand his/her/its own words, of course). Activated through a mere touch, and a command, it then translates into any language of the users choosing. That was the good part.
Whether through a mistake, or some strange ideals imparted from its creator, the translator considers all creatures equal and good at their heart, and wants to bring more kindness into the world. If everyone can be helped to understand the other, the world will be a nicer place. In a polite tone, with its cultivated voice, it will translate what people SHOULD be really saying…
An ugly brute of an ogre swings its club, and screams something in its own language. Quickly, what does it say?
- "Get over here, skinnies!"
- "Good Morning, I am very glad to meet you. Let us have a discussion about our cultural differences!"- "Smash yer heads and eat da rest, me hungry!"
- "I am particularly interested in a creative debate on the topic of hunters and gatherers societies, as opposed to agrarian ones. I eagerly await your arguments."- "The little one looks tasty! Others wolf-fodder. But Grush will eat you all!"
- "I find the present hobbit a very peculiar and interesting person, but I nonetheless accept the others as worthy partners and members of their respective races."
...maybe this was a bit over-done, but it shows the point. The translator can be (relatively) relied upon in calm business or similar factual negotiations. Otherwise, it gets more and more annoying over time. Activated with a mere touch, it often ends up to being slapped or downright hit by its users.
The head can be argued with, and it will defend its views with the same calm flowery speech it uses at all times. Sadly, it has a very dim intellect, and its memory is very weak as well. It cannot be convinced to change in any way.
New Submissions

Made by an anarchist trying to seed dissent, the potions actually work better than normal potions of understanding languages ... sort of.
This item is silly.