-or- Register at the Citadel
Items
Other
Magical

4.21

7 Votes

32xp

ID: 4458
Hits: 2830
Comments: 15
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.2143
Condition: Normal
Submitted:
October 17, 2007, 4:26 am
Updated:
October 21, 2007, 12:25 pm




Voted Hall of Honour:
Cheka Man
HoH not available due to level or sub is not 10 days old
Translator of Political Corectness
By: manfred

Some items simply go wrong, that happens from time to time. But some are created by weird minds, even downright deranged ones, minds too sick to be healed. Guess where this one comes from.

Resembling a small bronze head of a venerable sage, the translator is perfectly able to understand any language used by intelligent beings, via a telepathical link (the speaker must understand his/her/its own words, of course). Activated through a mere touch, and a command, it then translates into any language of the users choosing. That was the good part.

Whether through a mistake, or some strange ideals imparted from its creator, the translator considers all creatures equal and good at their heart, and wants to bring more kindness into the world. If everyone can be helped to understand the other, the world will be a nicer place. In a polite tone, with its cultivated voice, it will translate what people SHOULD be really saying…

An ugly brute of an ogre swings its club, and screams something in its own language. Quickly, what does it say?

- "Get over here, skinnies!"
- "Good Morning, I am very glad to meet you. Let us have a discussion about our cultural differences!"

- "Smash yer heads and eat da rest, me hungry!"
- "I am particularly interested in a creative debate on the topic of hunters and gatherers societies, as opposed to agrarian ones. I eagerly await your arguments."

- "The little one looks tasty! Others wolf-fodder. But Grush will eat you all!"
- "I find the present hobbit a very peculiar and interesting person, but I nonetheless accept the others as worthy partners and members of their respective races."

...maybe this was a bit over-done, but it shows the point. The translator can be (relatively) relied upon in calm business or similar factual negotiations. Otherwise, it gets more and more annoying over time. Activated with a mere touch, it often ends up to being slapped or downright hit by its users.

The head can be argued with, and it will defend its views with the same calm flowery speech it uses at all times. Sadly, it has a very dim intellect, and its memory is very weak as well. It cannot be convinced to change in any way.



User Submitted Ideas (0)

Please register to add an idea. It only takes a moment.


Suggested Submissions
Potion of Mis Understanding Languages By: Agar
Items » Potion » Magical

Made by an anarchist trying to seed dissent, the potions actually work better than normal potions of understanding languages ... sort of.

This item is silly.

Comments ( 15 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.
Extra bonuses go to those that spend all votes in between refreshes.

manfred
2007-10-17 04:30 AM
0xp
Updated: (Out with ya! Another old forum post to entertain the people.)
Voted Dozus
2007-10-17 10:26 AM
1xp
Heh, great! In spite of the silliness, I see this as a tool sought after by negotiators and royal messengers worldwide. Even if it isn't terribly intelligent, they could use it as a teacher to silver their own tongues.
manfred
2007-10-17 01:51 PM
0xp
Good idea, Dozus! I didn't think of that alternative use.
Voted Cheka Man
2007-10-17 12:44 PM
0xp
Good for polite diplomacy but not much good in a troublesome situation.
Voted Ancient Gamer
2007-10-17 01:00 PM
1xp
I got the urge to create its counterpart: The gut honest item, saying what people really mean as opposed to what they are really saying... :D

Envoy: Lord Arvareen, I am enchanted to make your aquaintance. Say, have you perchance met the good Duke Enthainon?
Translation: "Lord" Arvareen, you look every bit like the fat cow I was told you were. I am gonna humiliate you now, for you are not of sufficient rank to know the host, Duke Enthainon.

:D
manfred
2007-10-17 01:54 PM
0xp
Now that would be quite useful... and dangerous.
Voted Murometz
2007-10-17 10:24 PM
0xp
Heh, this one is amusing. Great concept! I also like's Dozus' "silver-tongue-ing" idea, and AG's brutally honest counterpart :)
Voted valadaar
2007-10-18 08:01 AM
0xp
Quite amusing!

Sorta C3PO ish.
Voted EchoMirage
2007-10-21 06:00 AM
0xp
You know, this post cannot be improved in any way. Thus, an honest 5 of 5. Go manfred!
manfred
2007-10-21 12:24 PM
0xp
What? I mean, it's a nice idea, but, but, but... *attempts to form coherent words*

(some time later)

...well, you can't argue with a five vote. :)
Cheka Man
2007-10-21 01:05 PM
0xp
I gave you a 5/5 vote too.
Voted MoonHunter
2008-04-10 05:18 PM
0xp
Moon Missed this one and caught it on the random. Which is appropriate for a silly.
Murometz
2012-02-23 11:32 PM
1xp

Fix corectness into correctness, will ya?

axlerowes
2012-02-24 12:10 AM
0xp
One of us isn't getting the joke
Murometz
2012-02-24 12:17 AM
0xp
not a joke...he just spelled it wrong in the title.
axlerowes
2012-02-24 06:05 AM
0xp
I guess you just doubled down

Join Now!!

Please register to vote or leave a comment

Freetext



Master of the Citadel


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

These little beetles have heads at both ends of their bodies. This allows them to feed on leaves at twice the rate of their normal cousins, causing great damage to crops. They look like ladybugs more than actual beetles, but have no wings. They have a funny way of moving if one stops to watch them, as both heads seem to vie for picking the direction at any given time. Their favorite nourishment is sugar cane. After feasting on these for some time, they develop short bursts of frenetic energy, and can be seen racing back and forth without purpose, which looks quite comical to onlookers. They are otherwise normal bugs. Of course the pc's might not know that.
By: Murometz | UpVote

Creative Commons License
Individual submissions, unless otherwise noted by the author, are licensed under the
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License
and requires a link back to the original.

We would love it if you left a comment if you use an idea!
PayPal
Powered by Lockmor 4.0 with Codeigniter | Copyright © 2012 Strolen's Citadel
A Role Player's Creative Workshop.
Read. Post. Play.
Optimized for anything except IE.
0.0206