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2.5
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Comments: 8
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Rating: 2.5
Condition: Normal
ID: 2597

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January 8, 2009, 4:09 pm

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Thentr

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"Thentr was made from moonlight and flame; he has killed one of the mighty rulers of the skies; he has yet to return home".
-Old Cro, the story teller

Appearance
Thentr is a well muscled man standing about six and a half feet tall with dark brown hair, green eyes, and lightly tanned skin. He wears a tunic of green, and has his yew bow in a quiver across his back along with his arrows. Hanging from his belt is a longsword in a leather sheath.

History/Background
Throndel, the time god, wanted the foul dragon Kranofra disposed of, but did not want to do it himself since the dragon was a minion of a fellow god. So, he grasped a glowing moonbeam and a flickering flame and molded them together to form a man, Thentr. Then he placed his creation on the world of men to become used to his form in preparation for the battle. After a few months, Thentr had learned how to use a blade and shoot an arrow straight, and he deemed himself worthy to do battle with Kranofra. When he went to seek the great wyrm, however, Thentr discovered that he was sadly mistaken. When he challenged Kranofra, the great green-hided dragon laughed in its guttural voice. Undaunted, Thentr attacked. It was a painfully short battle. Kranofra let Thentr live out of humor, and kept laughing as he limped out of the wyrm’s lair.

Because of his, ah, different origin, Thentr does not actually age. So, he had plenty of time to hone his skill and train his body. Almost exactly one hundred years after his defeat, Thentr entered the caverns of Kranofra. Once again Kranofra laughed at him, this time because he thought that it was some poor descendant come to avenge the defeat of his esteemed ancestor.

In steely tones Thentr told his foe who he was. Of course, the dragon did not believe him, no mere mortal lived as long as that. Try as he might, Thentr could not persuade Kranofra who he was. He tried recounting the exact day and hour of the battle, Kranofra scoffed, that information could be passed to him from his father. He attempted relaying a play-by-play report of the battle, but the wyrm just repeated, this time not quite so forcefully, what he said before. Finally, Thentr told to Kranofra what the dragon had been doing when he found his cave, counting his treasure.

It was not just that Thentr knew that he had been counting his treasure a hundred years ago, but he could point out exactly which items in the dragons vast hord he had been counting. Also, the man could tell which items Kranofra had gained since that day.

For the first time since he could remember, Kranofra knew fear. Fear of this thing that lived a century for revenge. With a cry, from which throat neither knew, the wyrm and Thentr clashed. For hours they fought. Though his foe never seemed to tire, Thentr fought on.

After a grueling battle Thentr eventually came out victorious. He stood in the mouth of the wyrm’s cave and waited to be taken back to the home of his creator, Throndel. For years he had been thinking of this moment. It was not that he disliked this mortal coil so much so that he was eager to leave, but he assumed that he would be whisked away. So he stood their in his blood stained clothing and the puddling blood of his dead foe.

After several long moments of a distinct lack of bright lights and angelic choruses, Thentr opened his eyes and looked around. He was still standing in the cave mouth. Hmm, strange. Shrugging, Thentr decided that there was only one thing to do in a case such as this: carry on. So, after clening his gear and himself in a nearby stream, Thentr retired quietly to a nearby forest. There he has lived for w=quite some time hunting, fishing, and doing pretty much whatever he feels like.
Special Equipment 
The items that Thentr does possess are not especially interesting other than the fact that they are a few cunnteries older than what would be found normally.
Roleplaying Notes
The reason that Thentr was not taken out of his adopted world after he finished his task was the simple reason that he did not, in fact, finish. There are laws older than the gods, and the gods can do very little to change them. The laws of Weregylt clearly state that when someone is killed, whether in war, accident, or cold-blood, their relatives have the right to claim Tariff (payment) or Reprisal (revenge). This law kept Thentr in this world until Kranofra’s last surviving relative, a young dragon named Gerntur either takes his right or says to Thentr directly that he has waved that right.

Plot Hooks
-Thentr discovers what must be done to finish his work on this world. Not wanting to leave his happy forest home, Thentr hires the party to find out where Gerntur is and deal with him, either persuade him to wave his right or kill him.
-Related to above. Gerntur learns of Kranofra’s death and of the Weregylt. Although he was not necessarily very close to Kranofra, Gerntur might bend the situation to his advantage and demand Tariff.



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Comments ( 8 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Scrasamax
June 13, 2006, 11:00
0xp
Okay, this has some potential Colonel, lets see what we can do with it. I like the concept of Thenth being a created being, or at least that is the impression that I got from the sub. Having been created by the god of time, I would expect him to have some sort of time magics.

Some questions, why did the god of time have beef with the dragon, and if so, why didn't he smite it, or age it or whatnot?

What exactly in Thenth, what are his mannerisms, what does he like, or not like?

I am holding my vote for a revision.
Cheka Man
June 13, 2006, 14:57
0xp
I will hold my vote too.
Ria Hawk
June 13, 2006, 17:06
0xp
I hold my vote as well. The potential is there... What does Thenth want to do with himself, now that he's fufilled his purpose? Why hasn't he settled down yet? What does he do, what has he seen? Has the god of time just decided to leave him to his own devices, or might there come a time when he sends Thenth out to do his bidding again? Is Thenth a hero, travelling around, righting wrongs and such, or is he just an observer?
Voted MoonHunter
June 15, 2006, 12:31
0xp
A couple of things.

Punctuation check would be nice. Sentences that are near run ons linked by comma after common becomes difficult to read. Spelling seems fine.

So he is unkillable? Or unfatigable? After several YEARS of battle, you think he might of died of exhaustion. Either that or this dragon was pretty lame. And think carefully about the answer as it chagnes the entire character.

So now we have this godling who is still waundering the world after his mission is done? Someone didn't uncreate him?

So now we have an eternal tourist? He has no needs. No desires. No drives. He just might want to waunder.

So he might kick it with the adventurers because? Because what? Because the GM might need an unkillable, uber powerful NPC to make the PC's look weak or pointless?

I am not holding my vote. It needs a lot of editing before it is worth more than this. I will revise my vote then.
Voted Murometz
June 16, 2006, 20:11
0xp
2.5, since it shows some definite promise. Keep at it Colonel Drackler! I've noticed your subs have some pretty cool names. Thats always a plus in my book. It does need some polishing.
Incarnadine
June 19, 2006, 15:38
0xp
My only comment is pure oak bows are really, really, really hard to use. So unless there's some symbolism in that that I'm not getting, I'd change that to yew.
Drackler
January 8, 2009, 16:09
0xp
Updated: Rehaul: Better grammar, background appearance, additional info. Added: Detail, plot hooks.
Note: I changed the name for ease of use, Thentr (Then-tir) is a lot easier to pronounce than Thenth.
Voted valadaar
November 13, 2014, 8:47
0xp
I love this idea. So much potential in a god-created weapon, forgotten and abandoned by his 'creator'.

Freetext



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