Items
Art and Music
Combat
3.95
10 Votes

32xp


Hits: 4009
Comments: 11
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.95
Condition: Normal
ID: 3688

Submitted:

Updated:
October 30, 2007, 7:26 pm

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Novascream

By:

The Six-Stringed Laser Axe of Thorin Stardust, the Most Metal Space Dwarf in History.

Full Item Description
Novascream is a musical instrument, patterned roughly after the Fender Stratocaster guitar of ancient legend. Carefully aligned and tuned laser-strings play perfect notes both through the light speakers installed on the guitar itself, and transmits them to the nearby (or not so nearby…) speaker stacks. Several more carefully aligned transmitters on the side of the ‘axe’ make it into a literal laser axe, the heavy alloy instrument doubling as a massively impressive implement of destruction.

History
Long ago, one Thorin Stardust, a Salvorathan with a musical bent and an axe to grind, sought out Kir Ironspirit and told him, "Dude. I need some stuff from you. I like, need a way better axe, and I need something to, like, kill the over-enthusiastic xenomorph fans we’ve got… I mean, I dun wanna be eaten by a groupie any more than the next guy."

It was with a great chuckle that Kir reached out and gripped the space-dwarf around the shoulders, waving his hand up into the sky with a twisted smile. "I have just the idea for you. Let’s go talk what you’ll do for me…"

And so, it was created, and delivered. It was promptly put into use at the Concert of the Battle of Squithiois VIII, where the legends began…

Magic/Cursed Properties
It’s an axe that plays music. It’s an axe that chops off people’s heads. Somehow, some twisted feat of engineering has produced this, and it very, very rarely needs retuning.   Doom comes, and it comes with a power chord. Now, are. You.  Ready. To. ROCK?!?



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Comments ( 11 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Murometz
February 24, 2007, 1:55
0xp
LOL

Concert of the Battle of Squithiois VIII

thats rich!
Voted valadaar
February 24, 2007, 6:35
0xp
"You should have seen us when we played on Venus!"
There was a thread for music inspired submissions somewhere :)


Heh, good job!
Voted Scrasamax
February 24, 2007, 9:19
0xp
makes me think of Disaster Area from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Voted Dozus
February 24, 2007, 9:52
1xp
Dwarves are so metal. \""/
Siren no Orakio
February 24, 2007, 11:51
2xp
*strums a powerchord*

Anyway, folks, just FYI: There's a character this goes with coming out of a scroll that's currently in progress. You /may/ want to suspend judgement until then, I was just writhing in the grip of my demon-muse last night, and couldn't wait to get this out.
Voted Cheka Man
February 24, 2007, 15:01
0xp
lol, I like this. Not good for ambushing with.
Voted MoonHunter
February 24, 2007, 21:46
0xp
It is enough to make one snort soda out of their nose laughing so hard.
Voted Fallen Angel
August 27, 2009, 2:33
Only voted
Voted Phaidros
September 18, 2011, 17:22
0xp
I am normally not a fan of metal, but I would like to see this group play. Move over Ozzie!
Voted hylandpad
September 18, 2011, 18:16
0xp

::incomprehensible british-drug-induced-babble::...massivelyawesomeguitar...::continued incomprehensible babble::...is righteous."

Seriously though. Short, sweet, very humerous and exceedingly witty.

Voted Strolen
September 23, 2012, 3:37
1xp
I simply read it with my mouth hanging open. Demon-muse just about sums it up!

Freetext



Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Man-Eating Grapes

       By: Murometz

A wild species, vinus homophagus, more akin to sea-grape rather than the terrestrial variety, is not a monster despite its fanciful name. The grapes, a deep purple color when in bloom, and oozing dewdrops of perspiration, like the most prized and delectable of drinking wine grapes, do however deserve their moniker. Wine made from this fruit, is deadly to most humanoids, as is the raw berry if plucked and eaten from the vine. It is the unnatural chemical concoction found within the fruit’s tart skin, which gives the man-eating grape its name. The chemical stew found inside each berry, functions as a necrotic agent, the same as found in some species of venomous snakes.

The grapes literally eat their victims from the inside out, via cell death, melting and destroying the organs in quick succession.

The tribes of Pra-Oohk Crater, of the jungles of Ghlush are known to sell the fermented “wine” of this grape to merchants of distant lands. Sadly, the taste of the concoction is divine when first quaffed, and even worse, the man-eating grape wine will never detect as poisonous via mundane means, its horrid natures somehow masking all attempts. Luckily the man-eating grapes are extremely rare, and endemic to humid jungles.

Encounter  ( Forest/ Jungle ) | October 6, 2013 | View | UpVote 5xp


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