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4.56
17 Votes

95xp


Hits: 6351
Comments: 10
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.5588
Condition: Normal
ID: 589

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Updated:
November 12, 2005, 4:02 pm

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Iain
Cheka Man

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Munchkin Utility Belt

By:

What is it that hangs from such a fine belt? Tis a sword of Righteous Slaying, and a Mace of Disintegration. A pouch of Perfect Invisibility Dust, and a wand of Endless fireballs?

Good sir, This must be the Belt of Munchkin-kind

The Belt of Munchkin-kind is a rare, and terrible thing. They are very rare, delivered from the great and terrible elder gods as a scourge to the petty gods and kingdoms of the realms that are. Each of these belts is a tool of utter chaos and destruction on a scale unimaginable.

When a PC finds a belt of Munchkin-kind, it is seemingly the perfect belt for the character. The warrior will find a wide leather belt, complete with scabbard for a sword and hangers for a dozen weapons, or more. When he belts it on, clsping the ends together, the hangers will be filled with weapons, each more magical and powerful than the last. Swords of slaying, Axes of Dismemberment, Maces of Mutilation and death, all appear at the wearers command. The wearer will find his strength increased, and his stamina made mighty as that of a giant of Asgard. The wearer immediatly becomes a Blademaster.

The thief who dons the belt finds many pockets containing the perfect tools for picking locks, and scaling walls, powders and dusts for fooling persuers and attack dogs. He gains the nimble grace of a cat, and the elusive ability of a ghost in a cemetary. Any number of knives appear in his hands, all perfectly weighted for throwing and thrusting. The wearer immediatly becomes an assassin.

The mage finds a belt of pouches with every concievable spell component in its own place. Mandrake root, bitter ash, eye of newt, glass marbles and talismans of silver and oak. Wands, like six-shooters sit on his hips. One wand shoots fiery blasts, the other lightning bolts, and the belt-buckle summons monsters of level equal to the wearer. The wearer immediatly becomes an Arch-Magus.

The Priest or Cleric dons the belt finds himself blessed with a Decanter of Endless Holy Water, Mace of Celestial Might, Bracers of Godliness, and a plethora of orisons and spells of holy benediction, especially the fire and brimstone sort of benediction. The wearer immediatly becomes a Holy Defender Paladin.

Magical Properties:

LOOK AT ALL OF THIS COOL STUFF!

Armed with every possible weapon of ultimate power, any spell, or any skill, the character becomes deranged. Megalomania devours their mind, they see themselves as vastly superior to their compatriots. They are characters without peer, immune to consequence and above the law…

Oh, wait. They were like that before getting the belt.

Armed with such weaponry, the character becomes an engine of destruction and chaos, never noticing the subtle changes in physique. The begin to shrink in stature until they reach the meager height of three feet. Their hair becomes wirey, and their voices become high-pitched and obnoxious. Soon they find themselves drawn to a distant location, one that their compatriots might follow them to.

Munchkin Land
A realm of chaos incarnate, those unfortunates who have had their souls devoured by evil weapons of soul-stealing, and the loosers in demonic bargains dwell here, forever in agony and suffering. Their weapons fail, and magic spells come undone. Their dreams of domination and power mastery fade as they see that they have become shrunken mockeries of themselves.

Wands of fireballs shoot out sprays of perfume, and sword of sharpness become as limp as cooked spaghetti. They lament, and tear at their beards and cry tears until their greedy little eyes are sopping wet and red.

Those who attempt to leave the Munchkins land are questioned by the Purifiers, potent wardens and jailers of the Munchkins. Any attempt to smuggle munchkin items out of the land will be met with swift justice, the character being blasted into a munchkin himself and forever imprisoned in munchkinland.

There are two ways out of Munchkin Land. The first method is the most difficult, the munchkin must recognize his mindless greed and desire for power over all other things, and must willingly discard his items of munchkindom. Once these are discarded and lie forgotten in their shining splendor and glory, the character resumes his old form, and may leave the land unmolested.

The second method requires that the munchkins friends seek pardon on his behalf. This could prove difficult as the munchkin many no longer have any friends. If the PCs are able to sway the opinion of one of the Purifiers, the munchkin is disowned of all of his items, and allowed to leave. After a year and a day free from Munchkinland, he resumes his old form, hopefully free of the munchkin taint.



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Comments ( 10 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

CaptainPenguin
January 8, 2005, 16:50
0xp
:D

4/5.
EchoMirage
January 9, 2005, 3:20
0xp
I almost choked on my coffee, Scras.
I know thatafew of my players would never willingly give up the belt, screaming "My precioussss!" even as they would be drawn into the munchkin - prison.
I can picture Cthulu coming over and saying: "Mortal, I curse you with ... this!"
This reminds us of an often forgotten truth:
A warrior should not fight just for the fighting itself.
A thief should not steal and backstab just because he can.
A mage's quest for power should not be only about gaining said power, but using it to furter a goal.
A priest should first of all serve his go, and then himself. An honest prayer is worth more than a smitten disbeliever.
Maggot
January 9, 2005, 9:05
0xp
lol,nice touch with this item,Scras.Very funny and unique.Ahh,I can imagine destroying those oh-so-annoying munchkins with ths item were I the GM.5/5
Iain
January 9, 2005, 9:48
0xp
Brilliant!
MoonHunter
January 9, 2005, 10:23
0xp
I am afraid. I am very afraid.

Scras, you are one scary mind.
Voted Cheka Man
November 13, 2005, 9:04
0xp
5/5 and a HoH vote. This is one of the best Citidel Items ever.
Voted Wulfhere
September 23, 2006, 21:52
0xp
It is a warning to us all... Now, where did I put the character sheet for my Spellsword Mage?
Voted valadaar
March 3, 2008, 8:51
0xp
Nifty!

We are part of the lollypop guild!
Voted Misanpilgrim
April 12, 2008, 12:00
0xp
"Soon they find themselves drawn to a distant location, one that their compatriots might follow them to."

Might? By the time the Munchkin Land Curse kicks in, the other PCs have probably used either magical copying techniques or old-fashioned GM-badgering to get Munchkin Belts of their own (it's contagious, in my admittedly limited experience). So they'll be following the first munchkin, all right... and then you can start over with brand new PCs...

...wait. That's a feature, not a bug. Good thinking.
Voted Murometz
March 21, 2009, 18:57
0xp
This needs to see the light of day.

Freetext

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