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Rating: 1.5
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ID: 185

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January 15, 2006, 3:53 pm

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Journey of Magic

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A young girl, of fifteen, sets out to find the kingdom of her land after raiders burned down her house. Now she has met a wonderful friend who schools her in the ways of the land…

A young girl, of fifteen, sets out to find the kingdom of her land after raiders burned down her house. Soon, upon her leaving, she meets a mystical being who offers help and guidance.
Along the way, the girl meets many different creatures and learns of her land, which she knew little of before.  However, she finds herself captured by slave traders who take her to the palace.
Now she needs to escape and start her life anew, but can she reunite with her friend, with whom she was seperated from after the slave traders came, or is she doomed to serve the cruel king and queen and vain prince?



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Comments ( 5 )
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CaptainPenguin
December 1, 2004, 22:17
0xp
How is this a plot? Maybe for a book, but it'd be a pretty boring or pretty juvenile book.
Who is this girl? Who is the mystical being she meets? What are the different creatures? What do the king and queen have to do with it?

1/5.
Ancient Gamer
December 1, 2004, 23:09
0xp
If your target audience are small children it is a nice concept. you might want to colour it even stronger, more black and white, as children sometimes have problems understanding the more subtler nuances. (Like irony, shades of grey, etc...) (The raiders could be depicted more vividly for instance. Also: Put a note on your story, informing us about its intended audience)

If the target audience is adults you might want to heed the captains words, unless you are aiming for a naivistic and simplistic setting.
Voted axlerowes
September 13, 2006, 18:17
0xp
This more of a NPC than a plot. Maybe if the girl had some special info. about her lost land or the nature of magic.

Maybe the girl herself can be a "map".
Murometz
September 13, 2006, 18:44
0xp
mmm...I once had half a map tattooed on a pirates tongue. The other half? I cant say. Its a PG-13 site :D
Voted valadaar
April 18, 2016, 11:35
Only voted


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Tambourine

       By: Yokima.van.zephrill

Tämbourine is firmly placed on my back ,to unsheathe this sword I simply have to say "re clouse" meaning come to me or i can just reach over and unsheathe it the old fashioned way. This sword was created to my liking tambourine is made of raw-like metals I found in different regions as I begun to forge the metals together, I’ve noticed that the raw metal materials were different pieces to a wide variety of swords that were used the past and present, being so most blades have a sheer grey texture Tambourine’s blade became black as the depths of the oceans. The blade expands to 6” which weighs 426lbs the sapphire jewel placed on the tip of hilt (upper middle center of the base) it emits a aura texture of purple which weighs 24lbs the jewel is un-breakable it negates magic for tambourine has a mind of its own only belonging to me it finds a worthy opponents who doesn’t use magic or any type of power to their liking which I can agree with(who would want an opponent that abuses their powers to kill for no reason or to avoid dying by honor tambourine fights with honor and accepts its glory or defeat) I’ve named the sapphire Sophia because not only that its rare and radiant it resembles my burning passion for my love Sophia. I made the hilt to be a length of 15 inches its frame is created with fine katchin (very thick and heavy metal) it alone weighs 50 pounds its texture is black like mixture of, I made it to be a cruciform hilt so it has room for two hands. I I made the blades hilt aprox. 2”, the blade is double-edged but the left side of the swords frame can block and or negate ones attack if needed, it weights 500lbs making it nearly unmovable. To go up against this sword is to quickly find your own death. Tambourine is a twin sword to Terra.

Ideas  ( Items ) | February 20, 2010 | View | UpVote 1xp


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