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Comments: 4
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Rating: 1.5556
Condition: Normal
ID: 185

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January 15, 2006, 2:53 pm

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Journey of Magic

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A young girl, of fifteen, sets out to find the kingdom of her land after raiders burned down her house. Now she has met a wonderful friend who schools her in the ways of the land…

A young girl, of fifteen, sets out to find the kingdom of her land after raiders burned down her house. Soon, upon her leaving, she meets a mystical being who offers help and guidance.
Along the way, the girl meets many different creatures and learns of her land, which she knew little of before.  However, she finds herself captured by slave traders who take her to the palace.
Now she needs to escape and start her life anew, but can she reunite with her friend, with whom she was seperated from after the slave traders came, or is she doomed to serve the cruel king and queen and vain prince?



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Comments ( 4 )
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CaptainPenguin
December 1, 2004, 21:17
0xp
How is this a plot? Maybe for a book, but it'd be a pretty boring or pretty juvenile book.
Who is this girl? Who is the mystical being she meets? What are the different creatures? What do the king and queen have to do with it?

1/5.
Ancient Gamer
December 1, 2004, 22:09
0xp
If your target audience are small children it is a nice concept. you might want to colour it even stronger, more black and white, as children sometimes have problems understanding the more subtler nuances. (Like irony, shades of grey, etc...) (The raiders could be depicted more vividly for instance. Also: Put a note on your story, informing us about its intended audience)

If the target audience is adults you might want to heed the captains words, unless you are aiming for a naivistic and simplistic setting.
Voted axlerowes
September 13, 2006, 17:17
0xp
This more of a NPC than a plot. Maybe if the girl had some special info. about her lost land or the nature of magic.

Maybe the girl herself can be a "map".
Murometz
September 13, 2006, 17:44
0xp
mmm...I once had half a map tattooed on a pirates tongue. The other half? I cant say. Its a PG-13 site :D


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

       By: ilya

While traversing the tractless deserts of Shezmu, the pc's come across a travelling caravan led by Vual, the Demon-Camel, the Lord of Lust, the Thrice-Humped...Vual is cursed to only be able to assume one form outside the Abyss, that of a rather large, golden-skinned three-humped camel,with a frog-like, black, barbed tongue......

Vual is the demonic manifestation of Lust...his followers, a cult of truly disturbed individuals, engage in bizarre orgies, travelling the desert towns, "entertaining" the desert folk with their perverse antics...

Vual's Rapture is what the cultists call their monthly festival, where they perform perverse rites to honor Vual...ofcourse folk come from great distances to witness the festivals, despite themselves, and the Cult of Vual welcomes all...

Surprisingly for such a hideous creature, Vual has the power to beguile and charm with his magical voice. His voice will always sound to pcs as the voice of the person they most desire...his followers also gain this ability slowly over time...

When the pc's meet with Vual, he tries to seduce them into joining his cult. If for whatever reason the pc's resist..well then... Vual would probably kill them for sport, as a lesson for those who "resist Vual's love"....

Encounter  ( Other ) | January 27, 2005 | View | UpVote 1xp


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