Full Item Description
A small, rectangular coffer, with slightly convexed edges, the chest is made of darkened ivory from the horn of a woolly rhino and intricately carved with tiny images of men and women engaged in questionable acts of carnal pleasure in bas-relief. Strong magic radiates from the chest, and if one puts his or her ear directly against it, a faint, distant, droning moan of pleasure can be heard, the sound being similar in effect to one that comes from a conch shell if held closely to one’s ear. There is no discernable lock anywhere on the chest. One can tell that it can open, but there are no obvious means of doing so.
The chest’s original owner was one E’Scatonia, former Madame and doyenne of the Yawning Rabbit’s House of Pleasures. E’Scatonia began life as an urchin in the streets of the jaded metropolis of Lithzerone, eventually taken in by the Lost And Found orphanage, where she met a fellow girl, down on her luck, who introduced ‘Scat’, as she was known back then, to the dubious professions of the night. Soon leaving the Lost and Found behind, Scat entered the ranks of the Yawning Rabbit, and began her new career. She changed her name to E’Scatonia, adding the ‘E’ to emulate the latest frivolous trend among the ladies of Lithzerone’s nobility, which served to signify status.
E’Scatonia soon proved quite the virtuoso in her new chosen profession. Her beauty, guile, and unparalleled understanding of the male psyche was impressive even among her peers, and she quickly propelled through the ranks, until she became the Yawning Rabbit’s most popular and requested courtesan. E’Scatonia was not satisfied with her position however, and did not merely wish to earn a good living. Ambitious, scheming, manipulative, and completely devoid of scruples, E’Scatonia soon began plotting a further rise in power. The long and short of it is that eventually she became the Madame of the Yawning Rabbit, after the previous one vanished under a cloud of suspicion. As one might expect, E’Scatonia had a hand in her predecessor’s demise, but this was never proven, nor pursued too seriously by the authorities, if truth be told.
Still not satisfied with her lot, E’Scatonia ultimately longed to join the ranks of Lithzerone’s royalty, and she would not let her lack of proper birth or pedigree stop her. It was around this time that she met Prince Wassal’Mereaux, one of Lithzerone’s most famous eligible bachelors. They met at the Yawning Rabbit, when the Prince secretly began to visit the establishment. The prince had quite a peculiar and obscene fetish, one that is better left unmentioned, and E’Scatonia catered too this fetish with some aplomb. Smitten with an almost uncontrollable desire for her, E’Scatonia became akin to a drug to the hapless prince, of which he could never get enough. The prince though madly in lust, refused to marry E’Scatonia, for fear of the scandal it would cause, and their relationship continued in private, although as far as E’Scatonia was concerned it was now as good as over.
Through the prince, E’Scatonia was introduced to many others in positions of power and authority. One of these men was Doctor Ar’Koppille, a physician and surgeon to the noble classes of Lithzerone. The ‘good doctor’ was secretly a demonologist however, and during one of his trysts with E’Scatonia agreed to induct her into the forbidden arts of summoning.
The entire tale would take too long to relate, dear reader, but suffice it to say, E’Scatonia eventually managed to summon a demon of her own design. What bargain was struck between the vixen and the vile creature, one shudders to imagine, and perhaps it is better left unwritten. Regardless, the demon, Poggadin of the Three Quivering Tongues by name, set about assisting E’Scatonia with all her plans and ambitions.
It was Poggadin who created E’Scatonia’s little chest and some of the diabolical items which E’Scatonia kept inside it, and it was this same demon, that helped her, through various machinations, to become engaged to the powerful Count Gi’Ledero Az’Fazzamo, a man with even more power than the hapless Prince Wassal’Mereaux, despite their respective titles. Finally, after many years, E’Scatonia’s dreams were coming true.
It was then that disaster struck, as it often does when least expected. On the eve of her wedding to the Count, Lithzerone was sacked and demolished by an invading force of zorse-riding Vorrians, blademasters non-pareil from the vast plains neighboring the Lithzerone Confederacy. A horde of thousands descended on the capital, and when all was said and done, Lithzerone and it’s suburbs were laid to waste and ruin. Count Gi’Ledero Az’Fazzamo was one of the first to perish, but a few nobles and their retinues managed to escaped the onslaught. E’Scatonia escaped as well, but her precious treasure-box was left behind, buried beneath the rubble of what used to be the Yawning Rabbit.
It is not known what happened to E’Scatonia, after what historians termed as the Vorrian Reprisal occured. She was never heard from again, but rumors circulated that she gave birth to some monstrosity, and died during its delivery. What happened to this progeny or her private treasures is a mystery. Ten years have passed since the Vorrian Reprisal.
The chest is a powerful item in it’s own right, a perfect recepticle for other treasures. One is able to handle the chest without incident, but as soon as an attempt is made to open it, three magical wards come into effect.
The first time someone attempts to open the chest, an incredible wave of nausea, vertigo, and disorientation is felt by all individuals within a five foot radius. Unless powerful magical means are used to dispel this effect immediately, the person in question drops the chest and collapses, unable to stand, vomitting uncontrollably, and unable to move without someone’s aid. If moved by others some distance away from the chest, the victim of this ward, can slowly begin to recover. This effect lasts for one hour. At the end of this hour however the person can potentially be near death, due to a ruptured stomach.
The second time an opening is attempted, a wave of discord emits from the coffer. Anyone within ten feet of the chest begins to feel their mind clouding, followed quickly by an incredible urge to harm, even kill, anyone within sight. This effect can also be countered by more powerful disruptive spells. It otherwise lasts one hour as well.
When a third atttempt is made, the person in question is immediately teleported three miles away in a random direction. Since this happens instantaneously, not much can be done to prevent this when it happens. If one suffers and survives all three effects, he or she can theoretically simply touch the chest and it will open, without further repercussions.
The chest is impervious to physical blows of any kind.
NOTE: these three wards are based on the same person attempting to open the chest. Every time a different individual attempts to open it, the effects begin anew.
The Contents of E’Scatonia’s Little Chest
- Ring of Abrasions
Appears as a band made from hundreds of thin, nearly invisible golden filament threads, melded together and interwoven into a spiral, capped by a large moonstone. The ring was used by E’Scatonia to deceive and blackmail certain patrons of the Yawning Rabbit, and others in power.
The ring allows the wearer to impart abrasions and welts on others or on one’s own person. These purplish-yellow bruises do not actually cause any pain, or physical damage, but appear quite real. They harmlessly vanish after six to eight hours, depending on the size of the abrasions involved. Anything from a black eye, to full body welts, as if the victim was beaten mercilessly with a sack of oranges can be accomplished. It can function thrice per day.
- Obsidian Hairpin of Blissful Rapture
This foot-long, thin hairpin made to be worn in certain women’s hair styles, is made of jet-black obsidian. If the flesh of any male of the human species is pricked by it, the magical effects are thus: The victim becomes insatiable with lust, and his testosterone levels are magnified ten fold. Any man under the effects of the pin, is able to function sexually at his ultimate peak performance, for a much longer period of time than would normally be possible. E’Scatonia often pricked some of her less desirable and frail clients (she even stabbed a few!). It is impossible for any woman to not attain complete and utter satisfaction, when her lover is under the effects of the Obsidian Hairpin. The hairpin will only function this way if a woman does the pricking.
- Kimono of the Python King’s Concubine
This gossamer silken robe is of utmost quality. It is woven with an image of a python, winding around the fabric. Gold, silver, and even ruby thread is used in its design. When worn by any woman, it allows her to become a dancer without equal, pefectly moving her body in graceful, hypnotic motions, for as long as she wishes without tiring. For every minute the dancing continues, it increases the chances of any onlooker, male or female, to slowly fall into a dream like state, as if under the influence of narcotics. During this stupor, any suggestion or proposal made by the kimono’s wearer seems like a good idea to the spectator. If the dance persists for more than twenty mintues, the nearly hypnotized victim, begins to see an image of an actual python, rising from the very cloth of the kimono its embroidered on, and taking flight in a kaleidescope of color and light. At this point the victim, dependant on his or her inherant and natural will power, may become enslaved to the kimono wearing dancer permanently! This spell can be broken however, if the wearer of the robe, does not ‘dance’ for the charmed victim, at least once a day, for some time.
In addition to these three items, the chest contains:
- A long, exhaustive list of every client who has ever visited the Yawning Rabbit during E’Scatonia’s time there. Not only the names, but sexual preferrances, finances, and other personal information can be gleamed on more than ten thousand people, many of whom are still alive and well, despite the decade since the Vorrian Reprisal destroyed Lithzerone. This list’s usefulness is self-explanatory.
- Various unguents, balms, herbs and powders in small green-glass jars. An alchemist or sage, would be able to identify these quite readily.
- A set of phallic spoons, forks, and knives made of tarnished silver. Its origin can only be guessed at.(Quite usable and practical though, I’m afraid)
- Twelve perfectly cut diamonds each the size of a thumbnail. Their quality would be highly praised by the most discriminate of jewellers.
- An alabaster stone tablet, the size of an average book, on which a strange ritual is inscribed in the Lithzerone language. This can be used to efficiently summon Poggadin of The Three Quivering Tongues. No harm can come from this demon, if the summoner follows the instructions on the tablet.
Alas, the story does not end here, dear reader, but is merely left for another day. For somewhere out there sits E’Scatonia’s chest, droning quietly and waiting to be opened. Perhaps more disturbingly, her half-demon daughter is alive as well, and of course, her daughter’s father, Poggodin (slurp, slurp, slurp)