Eye Of Enhancing Degeneration
Used to this day, it is used when a person knows they are out matched but they need anything they can to help rid themselves of their foes.
Full Item Description
A sphinx eye, that gave off a greenish blue magical aura. The colo of the actual eye was red, and deep with the color of blood. If you looked carefully enough you would see what happened exactly what the sphinx saw before he died.
History
Used to this day, it is used when a person knows they are out matched but they need anything they can to help rid themselves of their foes.
The item was made from an evil mage about 3000 years ago. The mage killed a sphinx and took its eye encasing some kind of magical property into it. But when the mage tried using it on his self he soon realized that the gods did not like what he had done. The Gods set a fail safe to the item. They Gods left the enchantment, and added a curse, that made the people that wear the item die four years sooner then they would normally. The gods added a side affect to the item, they made it so that the longest you can wear the item is thirty minutes.
Magic/Cursed Properties
This item allowed the user to see what the opponet was doing, a few seconds before they would do it. The user would then be able to counter the move at the precise second they needed to.
The eye only stayed on the person from 30 minutes, and each time time they used the eye they lost four years from their life. Not like it shortened their lifespan, but their actual age increased by four years.
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? Responses (13)
Okay, do me a favor, will you? Will you hit edit submission, scroll down, then start reading what you wrote OUT LOUD. I want you to insert all the words that you missed, then I want you to correct all the wrong words you used. You should have to read it out loud about three times.
Then I want you to run the spell check.
Then we will try this again.
Moon- :)
Hiding somewhere hear is a GREAT idea!!
Now this is really a neat idea, needs some polish, but a neat idea. Good to see you back Kal.
Oh I like this one!!! Can it show what number is coming up on the dice before you roll them????? LOL!!!! Does it allow enough time to place a bet on the ponies???? LOL!!!
This is a really great idea!!
0o I like this one. I wish I could comeup with and Idea like this... wait, I did, grr
This is a really good idea wrapped up in some crappy writing. If someone hasn't shot your last few English teachers, someone should think about pulling their tenure.
Its fail safe is that It stops working after 10 minutes. But the user can Re activate it
The second its activated it takes the 4 years from you, you you mine as well use it while you got it.
It won't activate ^^ for people who don't age, or die by old age. It needs your life force to activate, and in people who dont age, there is no life force.
A person can have it with them without it activating.
Hey am I allowed to redo this Item if I wanted to?
you can edit it, but people rarely bother updating their votes, so its pearls before swine ;)
Well, if you edit it again, I'll hold my vote off until then.
Currently, the english is rather bad, and I'd want to know why this particular Sphinx's death put out the gods enough for them to intercede.
Perhaps placing this back into your "in work" area and giving it an over haul grammar/wording wise would be good. (btw is English not your primary language? if not that explains some of the problem)
It has promise but needs a serious over haul. Nice try so far though, give it an edit and I'll happily re-vote
It's definitely a good try, and its fairly creative, but it needs a lot of polish. You really need to spell out the effects more. What if you use it for 30 seconds? Does it still take 4 years, the same as if you used it for 30 minutes? Seems like it would be better as a gradual thing, as in you age a year for every 30 minutes, expressed as a rate instead of a flat number (which equals 48 days per minute, or .8 days per second - Of course you could adjust the rate to clean up these numbers, if you felt like it.) And yeah, it also seems like immortals (or those with really long lives) would get a lot of benefit from this item with little to no sacrifice. If this is not the case, specify that the rate depends on the creatures lifespan, or that it won't work for immortals. Thanks.
Edit: Plus, the grammar and writing style needs a lot of work, too.