The Elves of Tallarn carry a strange heritage. The sex ratio is a bit off: five males are born for every girl that sees the light of day. To those unfamiliar, this may not be apparent though, as the effeminate elven side is more pronounced here, resulting in many of the men having a female appearance.
Men are referred to as either Kian or Kiannae. Kian have a classically more masculine look, Kianne with a more feminine or androgenous look. True ladies are called Aroi. In outsider term, it is just He and She as “primitive other languages do not reflect the finer nuances of Elven Language.”
The society does strictly distiguish between male and female endeavours - males learn the crafts, farming, and the art of war; while the females are the carriers of culture, learning history and making up the vast majority of the priesthood, teaching and so on. Some Kiannae fill in minor positions of the female professions.
Art and magic are open to both, though a noticeable percentage of Kian lacks magical aptitude. Many Kiannae are magically or artistically apt.
The imbalance has led to peculiar courting customs: several Kian and Kiannae circling every lady showering her with praise and gifts. Many of the men who fail to find a female often end up in the arms of other men. These “other men” are usually Kiannae.
Note: It is socially “taboo” for two Kian (or two Kiannae) to get together.
Thus many of the males Kiannae have a very feminine look, attemping to attract companionship. Some of it is genetic. Some of it is appearance and grooming. Kiannae mostly dress androgenously. However they will, from time to time, dress in a distinctively female manner. As a point of fact, Kiannae are effectively “non competitive” in the quest for real female mates, as they are not as “manly” as Kian. That is okay. In point of fact, most Kiannae prefer men.
The Elves do not speak of the divisions. It is a taboo subject, impolite to talk about.
Since Kian and Kiannae is a personal decision, it is “wrong” to say someone IS one of the other unless they have told you what they think they are.
Gender pronouns are assigned by how one is dressed. However, only in the most extreme cases will an Aroi be called He (usually requiring her to be in a non female role).
Kiannae and Kian might be interested in members of other races, but Kiannae avoid that… as it could lead to complications (unless that member is appropriately orriented).
Expanded from EchoMirage’s Idea