When night falls, we find peace in the knowledge that daytime will return soon, and vice versa. But what if the world was split: daytime and night are two different, coexistent worlds, each with it's own laws and rules. At dawn and sunset, our soul switches to inhabit our other being, our 'twin'.
Elves are not actually aloof. They are actually extremely family-based and insular, and often intermarry inside their families, making them uncomfortable around those not of their family. Therefore, they shield themselves behind pretended aloofness and coldness until they are comfortable in others' company.