Your personal ad reminds me of the message you get when you click on a Pit Lord for a while in Warcraft III: Frozen Throne.
"Welcome back to the Tanya Show. With us today we have Malinjeroth, Hunter of the Night, and his girlfriend, Kim. Now, Kim, you were told that you two were coming for a makeover, right?"
"Well, I think Malinjeroth has something to tell you."
"Uuh...Kimmy...Uh..You know I love you and...Uh..."
"Yes? What is it?"
"I'm a demon."
(Audience gasps and boos)
"But..But...You told me you worked at the post office!"
"Yeah...I'm really more of a Pit Lord, to tell you the truth..."