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Author Topic: Refuge Beneath the Waves  (Read 14736 times)

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Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #25 on: February 07, 2015, 10:09:18 AM »
Wow, I thought it wasn't that great and almost deleted it without anybody seeing it!
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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #26 on: February 07, 2015, 01:39:10 PM »
substantial addion to Machinama http://strolen.com/viewing/8118
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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #27 on: February 08, 2015, 08:31:47 AM »
Launched Machinamahttp://strolen.com/viewing/Machinama_a_cult_in_Refuge_Beneath_the_Waves , axel I put you on as contributor so you can fiddle with it if you want. Launched it cause I'd like input from community. Not sure at this point how done I am with it.
wanted to add following to jargon
Angel Common name amung cult for Nyuchukku
Mona Lisa Upperclass and formal name for them
Mona slang cultest HATE
Cultests refer to them as "she"
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Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #28 on: February 08, 2015, 09:10:16 AM »
Need a couple of facts(just approx. ,not going to be using exact dates
year under started
current year
Can I add anti aging drug available only to the very wealthy?
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Offline axlerowes

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #29 on: February 08, 2015, 10:10:40 AM »
what happened to the sea mammals?

Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #30 on: February 08, 2015, 10:19:35 AM »
major revision to revision to Machinama
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Offline axlerowes

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #31 on: February 08, 2015, 04:03:06 PM »
Paper.

It is suggested in the original sub the paper is no longer used or at least very rare.   Several thoughts about this, you could go with a paper based on pulp made from kelp or sea grass or even algae.  You could have paper and plant fiber clothing explained away with single line. Because might assume that the people have access to these in abundance, and I have read articles about Seaweed fiber clothing (and often abut foe seaweed fiber clothing).

Additionally perhaps people get there newspaper etched on small pieces of glass that they load into some type of microfische projector or worn view master.  The print could be done with an acid etching techinque in which the acid is applied to a ceramic moveable type.   The glass items would be fragile, but just a very different type of fragile when compared to paper.       

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #32 on: February 09, 2015, 12:41:35 AM »
I was under the weather for a few days, so haven't been able to keep up with all this. Will catch up over the next day or so. Looking forward to reading subs!
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #33 on: February 10, 2015, 01:04:01 PM »
THE SPEAR AND THE SHIELD(WILL BE ZULU WORDS)

IN THE BEGINNING

When Mankind began it's first steps in going under, the Zulu were there. Despite South Africa's rich resources, it was spared the brunt of the Kallium poisoning until the very end. Long enough that the British were able to use those resources to build undersea habitats in the South Atlantic. The Zulu's being accomplished miners, were brought down to work in the confined spaces of the early domes and to use those same skills. To avoid tribal violence, of all the native people of the region, only the Zulu were chosen. At first they were treated like second class citizens. But the horrors of racism quickly gave rise to the necessity of every valuable citizens being treated equally From among the first children born under arose a great pharmaceutical inventor. He remembered the stories of war, racism and the sun. All he learned was hate.

(Cool zulu name) was a genius using the new flora and fauna to create wonder drugs for the people to use. He became rich and respected, but his heart was always raging. Secretly, he created a wonder drug he named it (cool zulu word). It had three derivatives. First it was an endurance drug, suitable for extending the work hours of an individual. Second was the combat drug enhancing the senses and reflexes of an individual. Finaly (cool zulu name) created his masterpiece from this common fish, a drug that greatly slowed the aging process.

(Ok at this point I need to know how wide spread to use the anti-aging drug, I would like to use it for (cool zulu name) to control a few key rich people, but would be just as happy if he only used it on himself.)
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Offline axlerowes

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2015, 02:02:29 PM »
Looks awesome, could actually be educational as well, since you are now directly referencing real world cultures and applying historical conflicts to the setting. We have not yet decided when the domino of history slipped and went another direction have we?

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2015, 02:35:08 PM »
I need a basic history to talk about old world cultures and what happened with them.
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #36 on: February 10, 2015, 04:43:46 PM »
I feel like above is on fairly strong ground a la the setting so I am going to go ahead w "Zulu Fu Manchu drug dealer" just need green light on adding the ant aging drug at least for the main baddy, sooner I get that ok...............
got my answer in first page chat will proceed
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 05:21:58 PM by Aramax »
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Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #37 on: February 11, 2015, 09:17:58 AM »
Ok , I think I know exactly what I would like my niche in this project to be. I'd like  to concentrate my efforts on, cults, sub cultures and criminals/masterminds of the setting. Basically creating adversaries and to some degree flavor. That is what I am most comfortable in adding. I will be doing these as private drafts and putting both of you on as collaborators.Ill put the links in this thread, so you can feel free to add and alter. I am also a willing sounding board and happy to go over every thing that is done, providing input. Mystic I urge you to keep axles androids, they are a great hook, also hope you are willing to make room for my zulu thing, next on my agenda is some work w/ some New Guinea, sub culture, prob doing some version of the Cargo Cult, will post links when this and zulu idea are ready for inspection.

a couple of stray thoughts
 a new version of Goth
beatniks
hippies
gypsy's
Charles Manson's cult
David Karesh
Jonestown
Heavens Gate

OOO OOOOh
The Daughters of Kalleum
cross dressing, black wigs and make up
ritual sacrifice by Kalleum ingestion
sort of Goth/thuggee

Occult/nazi/Vril cult with non Aryan focus, female? Cabala?
« Last Edit: February 11, 2015, 10:30:04 AM by Aramax »
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Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #38 on: February 11, 2015, 04:17:28 PM »
First draft of zulu thingy
http://strolen.com/viewing/8126
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Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #39 on: February 11, 2015, 04:19:15 PM »
Go Maxx! :)
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2015, 05:33:15 AM »
I present the 100 word, Daughters of Kalleum http://strolen.com/viewing/8127 and BND http://strolen.com/viewing/8129
« Last Edit: February 12, 2015, 08:01:13 AM by Aramax »
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Offline axlerowes

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2015, 08:52:24 AM »
I liked the BND post a lot,  and what is very interesting with these posts is that you are not only describing these subcultures but you defining mainstream culture in the negative. 

By that I mean, instead of directly saying what maintstream culture is you are saying what it isn't and thus we get a picture of mainstream culture sort of in silhouette.    I too have trouble telling a story directly.  Perhaps though we could just define three to six cultural or literary themes that should present and thus explored in this steam punk setting.

Here is example of what I mean by taking themes of Lovecraft's work (other than the Outsider)

Corruption: Attack of  humanity by outside forces (humanity is sort of undersiege by all these negative outside influences)

Intellectualism:  Lovecraft's heros are never tough young men who overcome with luck, moxie and chutzpah. There is never romance. They are learned men, and if there is ever solution in lovecraft's work it is an intellectual not an emotional one.  If they fail it is because of intellectual hubris.   This is not to be confused wiith utilitarianism.   

Physical Geography:  This is not really part of the story per se, but how the stories are told.  Most of Lovecraft's stories deal very exquisitely and in a very detailed fashion with physical geography.  In steampunk writings I have observed a material fetishism.   

Antiquity:  Stuff is very old, the conflict comes almost always with something from the past, not from the future or the present.

I know there are others but you get the idea. 

Before we go on perhaps we should get a list of this for this setting.


 

Offline axlerowes

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #42 on: February 12, 2015, 08:58:35 AM »
Here is one themes I have picked out so far from what we have written:

Pro-establishment:  The plots thus far and our discussions have presented the opposition as being pirates, cults and terrorists.  This suggests that perspective we are taking is pro-status quo.  We are not writing stories or tossing out ideas about noble rebels or the rise of oppressed minorities.   What descriptions we have thus far of the corporate over lords describe them as music loving plant enthusiasts we don't care about money as much as nice stroll in the garden.  Or hedonistic dilettantes who pull a Henry the Fifth and then try to change the world to make things up to their dead parents.  Sympathetic, not bad guys at all. 




Offline Aramax

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #43 on: February 12, 2015, 09:47:08 AM »
axle-I need to think some before I answer your ideas, really glad you liked BND, thanx

I give you performance art http://strolen.com/viewing/8130

Can you tell I visited an art school w/ my daughter yesterday, SOOOOO many nudes! LOL

Housework now
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Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #44 on: February 12, 2015, 09:49:57 AM »
Some good questions and observations, axle.

I am leaning toward an upper class that lives a comfortable life on the backs of the many, many poor. They can choose to not think about money and enjoy their garden strolls because their lives are easy and paid for by the labor of the masses. And the poor rely upon the upper classes for food, air, living space, etc (it's not like they can hitch up their wagons and go West if they don't like it). Which, of course, swells the numbers of the pirates and outlaws. Perhaps more flavor text written about the struggles of the poor would help round out the picture?

On some level, most are afraid to upset the status quo, because humanity depends upon their underwater structures to survive. Many buy into the propaganda that it would all fall apart without the benevolent hand of the educated upper classes to keep it all in order.
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #45 on: February 12, 2015, 10:49:51 AM »
axle-I need to think some before I answer your ideas, really glad you liked BND, thanx

I give you performance art http://strolen.com/viewing/8130

Can you tell I visited an art school w/ my daughter yesterday, SOOOOO many nudes! LOL

Housework now

I could see this being controversial. The upper classes have their version that is all about "artistic expression" while the lower classes are little more than peep shows. And then you have the vocal group who feels it is entirely inappropriate and should be banned.
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #46 on: February 12, 2015, 10:57:52 AM »
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #47 on: February 12, 2015, 11:03:30 AM »
First draft of zulu thingy
http://strolen.com/viewing/8126

This is a good start and makes me start pondering slavery in the setting. Certainly it would have been an easy thing to justify in the original move underwater. Lots of mining and building needed to happen quickly.
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #48 on: February 12, 2015, 11:04:58 AM »
Ok , I think I know exactly what I would like my niche in this project to be. I'd like  to concentrate my efforts on, cults, sub cultures and criminals/masterminds of the setting. Basically creating adversaries and to some degree flavor. That is what I am most comfortable in adding. I will be doing these as private drafts and putting both of you on as collaborators.Ill put the links in this thread, so you can feel free to add and alter. I am also a willing sounding board and happy to go over every thing that is done, providing input. Mystic I urge you to keep axles androids, they are a great hook, also hope you are willing to make room for my zulu thing, next on my agenda is some work w/ some New Guinea, sub culture, prob doing some version of the Cargo Cult, will post links when this and zulu idea are ready for inspection.

a couple of stray thoughts
 a new version of Goth
beatniks
hippies
gypsy's
Charles Manson's cult
David Karesh
Jonestown
Heavens Gate

OOO OOOOh
The Daughters of Kalleum
cross dressing, black wigs and make up
ritual sacrifice by Kalleum ingestion
sort of Goth/thuggee

Occult/nazi/Vril cult with non Aryan focus, female? Cabala?

These are much-needed aspects of the setting. I very much appreciate you *diving in* :)
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.

Offline MysticMoon

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Re: Refuge Beneath the Waves
« Reply #49 on: February 12, 2015, 11:07:36 AM »
Paper.

It is suggested in the original sub the paper is no longer used or at least very rare.   Several thoughts about this, you could go with a paper based on pulp made from kelp or sea grass or even algae.  You could have paper and plant fiber clothing explained away with single line. Because might assume that the people have access to these in abundance, and I have read articles about Seaweed fiber clothing (and often abut foe seaweed fiber clothing).

Additionally perhaps people get there newspaper etched on small pieces of glass that they load into some type of microfische projector or worn view master.  The print could be done with an acid etching techinque in which the acid is applied to a ceramic moveable type.   The glass items would be fragile, but just a very different type of fragile when compared to paper.       

Good idea and a good argument for changing the setting.
Chosen of Aktagarti – Divine Synod Guild – Level 1
Might: 2 | Agility: 3 | Wits: 4 | Charm: 3 | Spirit: 4 | Power: 2

The old man, grey-haired, braid hanging down.
He is clothed in faded brown robes.
His craggy face is turned up, bathed in moonlight;
He looks for his goddess to smile upon him.