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Author Topic: Drunken Writer's Guild  (Read 7693 times)

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Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #25 on: May 17, 2014, 02:39:36 AM »
Continued: Round 3 is here, bourbon and pepsi.

There are some things about Wonder Woman that I don't like.

She was basically written by a soft core bondage aficionado. She is 'functionally' a super patriotic dominatrix dialed down for comic books. Add in that fact that most of her adversaries were other women (thank the Comic Code Authority for that, because men hitting women in comics is wrong, even if they are super powered amazons and said punches are ineffective as sissy swatting) it kinda meanders over into Introduction to Bondage/Fetish.

And really, @!#$ that man. That's insulting.

Super Heroes are about being larger than life, tapping into archetypal energies and exploding outwards from there, drawing us into their power.

Superman is God, almighty, all powerful, but ultimately compassionate and caring. We are drawn to his ability to lift heavy things, and ignore sissy bullets, and his self sacrifice creates allegories to Jesus (and Optimus Prime)

Batman is a brooding loner with all the toys and the vendetta to kick ass, beat the crap out of the BEST rogue's gallery of villains, and he was one of the first characters that we experience Death through. Batman becomes Batman because his parents are murdered. Batman is Hades, he is the fear of death, and the power to overcome the fear of death.

Flash is the fastest man in the world, FASTEST. MAN. IN. THE. MOTHER@!#$INT. WORLD. He is the jokester, the prankster, he is Hermes.

Green Lantern = Courage, creativity, imagination, willpower, etc. Kick Ass man, kick ass.

Spider Man is a loser. He has no money, no base, no cool gadgets, he barely gets the girl, but you know what, even being an effing loser, he still gets out there, kicks ass, is part of the avengers, and all that even if he has a prepaid T-Mobile phone and still lives with his aunt. Spider Man is what most of us would be if we got super powers by ACCIDENT.

Jumping over to Marvel:

Hulk - is there a better representation of the enraged Id? SMASH, DESTROY, Hulk is who we all want to be when saturday work is scheduled, or when we are cut off in traffic, or the person in front of us gets the last item for sale.

Thor has great hair. Eff you Thor.

Captain America is in the same category as Superman and Optimus Prime. Cap also picks up Mjolner in the Avengers and hands it to Thor. It's easily overlooked. Mjolner can only be lifted by the pure of heart and the worthy. Suck it Thor.

X-Men are a look into the Civil Rights Movement and Race Relations without you know, dealing too much with actual race.

lots more can be written here but IDGAF

And we pick Wonder Woman up again.

Not only is Wonder Woman a Blank, she is a Token Female Character. A brunette Barbie in a star-spangled unitard. With a minor in bondage. Nothing Greek/Amazon about that.
" If the muse comes to your bedside, don’t tell her you’ll f?$! her later."- Allen Ginsberg

Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #26 on: May 17, 2014, 03:06:55 AM »
What do we need to do to Fix Wonder Woman.

Backstory and Motivation: Wonder Woman needs to come from something beyond being a magical warrior princess. What is her call to adventure, who has decided to mess with something important to her to the point that she will put on a suitable superhero costume to kick their ass for it?

Adversary: Wonder Woman needs both a primary antagonist, and a rogue's gallery. Batman has the Joker, Superman has Lex Luthor, etc. WW needs someone who is her antithesis, and equal. Who knows her weaknesses, who can take her to the edge, who can make her lose her cool and lash out instinctually. This is important because 'Male Chauvinism', 'Sexism', and 'Sexual Discrimination' are not very good villains. They don't look good in costumes and people aren't going to find a way to relate to them.

Teamwork: Wonder Woman needs to LEAD a small group to their consensual goal and ultimate victory.

Things to Avoid:

Drawing back to Hera. In Greek Mythology Hera was basically the nagging &^%$@y wife who never really busted her husband's gonads for sleeping around on her, she just turned his flings into animals, which is just weird. In popular culture, I find it difficult to think of a positive association for Hera. She is basically all the worst attributes commonly associated with women rolled into one lump (nagging, hostile, frigid, etc) and the good stuff gets handed off to Aphrodite, Athena, Gaia, etc.

Sex: If Samus Aran can wear space marine armor through 99.9% of Metroid, Wonder Woman doesn't have to fight her enemy in a onesie bathing suit for the entirety of her feature. A female character can appear in a movie poster without sticking her ass out, or showing a large amount of cleavage. Faora-Ul did a pretty decent job of this in Man of Steel.

Magic: When 'magic' or 'magick' appear in a superhero comic, someone needs to be hit in the face, because magic is lazy shorthand.

Potential ideas and their pros and cons

Alien (Thor Approach/Man of Steel vs Batman Approach) -  Wonder Woman is not human, or not entirely human, as an alien/alien hybrid she is able to superhero. This works from a thematic perspective, but it moves WW away from the average human female. This can be okay, but you really need to tie into the Superman Dilemma, ala the greater your power, the greater the consequences of your actions become.

Accident/Experiment (Hulk/Spider-Man) - WW is the product of a complete and total cock up, no one expected her to become a superhero after surviving 'the accident'. This is middle of the road meh. Hulk works through an application of psychology/primal anger, Spider Man reaches our angsty inner teen. What does Accidental Wonder Woman do?   

Self-Made Hero (Cap, Batman, Ironman) - super serum and super patriotism, kung fu and serious personal issues, genius and money, the self made hero is a badass of their own design, calm cool collected and well this is my category that I really like because I am a bit of a humanist and kinda like superheroes who create themselves rather than stumble into the arena (what would have happened if the radioactive spider bit Peter Parker's classmate Carter Cranston?) or are aliens (Of course I can fly, shoot lasers out my ass and make time change by moving really fast, all Superheroids from Superherion can do that) blah blah blah. Ripley and Sarah Conner are in this category too.

" If the muse comes to your bedside, don’t tell her you’ll f?$! her later."- Allen Ginsberg

Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #27 on: May 17, 2014, 03:37:45 AM »
The six foes every superhero needs:

The Rival - kinda like the SH, but opposite moral polarity or alternate perspective. The Rival is similar in build characteristic to the SH, but doesnt share their goals, ideals, or value set. Example: Catwoman to Batman, she has gadgets, and is a thief versus his detective.

The Titan - Bigger, smarter, stronger, and nigh undefeatable, the Titan has to be fought with everything the SH has. Batman has Bane, Superman has Darkseid, The X-Men have Magneto.

The Genius - Smarter, much smarter, well prepared and well equipped. Lex Luthor is a ruthless human being who routinely gives alien superbeing Superman a run for his money. With no superpowers of his own. Also that space genie mr miztelplexiglass or whatever his name was who could only be defeated by making him say his own name backwards.

The Enemy who Can't Be Punched Into Submission - The enemy has whatever reason that prevents the SH from just beating the ever loving hell out of them. Instead, the fight has be to be by proxy, or through hidden means. Batman can't just bust the bejesus out of Two-Face because Harvey Dent is the man who beat crime in Gotham.

The Brick - A punching bag who can take everything the SH can throw at the them and keep coming. Superman has Bizarro, the zombies from zombie movies, Juggernaut, Omega Red, Colossus, Abomination, General Zod. The Brick and the Titan can be similar, but the Brick is not going to be smarter than the SH.

Anti-thesis - The SH has a foe who is everything that stand against. The Joker is everything that Batman is not, chaos versus order, embracing madness vs chasing sanity, never kill vs s**t happens.

The Mirror - Like the Rival, the Mirror is everything the SH is, but then add some to it. Better equipped, better prepared, better trained, better armed. The SH has to prevail either through trickery, intelligence, knowing an achillies heel, etc. Iron Monger is superior to Iron Man in every way except one, good thing Tony took care of the ice problem. This is similar to the rivalry between Loki and Thor after Loki is made king, or the fight between the Red Skull and Cap.
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Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #28 on: May 17, 2014, 03:50:55 AM »
The six foes every superhero needs:

The Rival - kinda like the SH, but opposite moral polarity or alternate perspective. The Rival is similar in build characteristic to the SH, but doesnt share their goals, ideals, or value set. Example: Catwoman to Batman, she has gadgets, and is a thief versus his detective.

Male Expy of Wonder Woman, Cap'n America if he was from the Jersey Shore and the Super Serum was 30% Axe Body Spray and 30% Spray Tan

The Titan - Bigger, smarter, stronger, and nigh undefeatable, the Titan has to be fought with everything the SH has. Batman has Bane, Superman has Darkseid, The X-Men have Magneto.

Good place for a social tie in, a powerful dominant Father figure that wants WW to be a good little girl, representing the role that society wants women to play.

The Genius - Smarter, much smarter, well prepared and well equipped. Lex Luthor is a ruthless human being who routinely gives alien superbeing Superman a run for his money. With no superpowers of his own. Also that space genie mr miztelplexiglass or whatever his name was who could only be defeated by making him say his own name backwards.

The emotionally abusive manipulative villain, Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother if he had super powers. Suit Up!

The Enemy who Can't Be Punched Into Submission - The enemy has whatever reason that prevents the SH from just beating the ever loving hell out of them. Instead, the fight has be to be by proxy, or through hidden means. Batman can't just bust the bejesus out of Two-Face because Harvey Dent is the man who beat crime in Gotham.

Someone who does work towards a common goal, such as a on outspoken feminine radicalist who goes a bit too far. WW couldn't beat the crap out of another woman who is motivated to crime because of male oppression and sexual abuse, even if she is putting lives in danger, cause collateral damage, and putting the city in danger

The Brick - A punching bag who can take everything the SH can throw at the them and keep coming. Superman has Bizarro, the zombies from zombie movies, Juggernaut, Omega Red, Colossus, Abomination, General Zod. The Brick and the Titan can be similar, but the Brick is not going to be smarter than the SH.

Super Jock Football Player Rapist

Anti-thesis - The SH has a foe who is everything that stand against. The Joker is everything that Batman is not, chaos versus order, embracing madness vs chasing sanity, never kill vs s**t happens.

a misogynistic hyper-conservative neo-religious super villain, who happens to be a woman.

The Mirror - Like the Rival, the Mirror is everything the SH is, but then add some to it. Better equipped, better prepared, better trained, better armed. The SH has to prevail either through trickery, intelligence, knowing an achillies heel, etc. Iron Monger is superior to Iron Man in every way except one, good thing Tony took care of the ice problem. This is similar to the rivalry between Loki and Thor after Loki is made king, or the fight between the Red Skull and Cap.

Rival Amazon of greater experience and rank who goes darkside ala Sinestro
" If the muse comes to your bedside, don’t tell her you’ll f?$! her later."- Allen Ginsberg

Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #29 on: May 20, 2014, 02:18:57 AM »
Doing some research on something I'm writing.

Who would be a d**ned good rival for Wonder Woman? Effing Lady Death.

Princess Diana cares for people, and America, and truth and justice... Lady Death just wants to kill every living human being on the planet so that she finish getting her revenge.

Life versus Death.

Cold, emotionless, the bringer of death, the ender of all life. Lady Death is the anti-thesis of all that is female. Plus she could probably hire Dethklok as her musical back up. And again, the Greek legacy is democracy, and creating the light of Western culture, social equality, truth, justice and all that, where the Vikings (Apparently LD is a Swede according to Wiki) are more known for raping, murder, plunder, burning villages, killing priests, and abducting women.
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Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #30 on: September 09, 2015, 04:11:11 AM »
Superfast super heroes.

It has been done right twice, and the first time, it was kinda shaky.

You know what I hate, the Blur character. He's just a streak of color and everything boom is just done.

It's lame. I'm jaded, I'm not @!#$ing impressed by this.

It works in the comics because it's a really really limited medium for art.

On film it looks terrible or cartoony, because it is.

You know who did a fantastic fast character? Quicksilver from X-Men: Days of Future Past. That were seriously the best two minutes of that entire movie, and for me, the only reason to watch it. The juxtaposition of Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle with Quicksilver moving at a self relative moderate pace, but the effects in the scenery displaying how fast he is moving, ala things frozen in space, the incredibly slow movement of the fired bullets, and the fact that despite multiple rounds fired, he isn't horribly concerned and tastes the sauce, his actions against the shooters borders on pranks, and then steals a hat before moving the bullets out of the way at the last minute is comical.

And effective in a way that the stupid blink blur is not.

Sorry Age of Ultron Quicksilver, you sucked as a really fast character.

Neo from the Matrix played at this for a bit, dodging bullets and whatnot, and pioneers some cool special effects ala bullet time, but it suffered from the following two Matrix movies with Neo going full munchkin and then dying.
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Offline Aramax

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Re: Drunken Writer's Guild
« Reply #31 on: September 09, 2015, 08:43:14 AM »
1) The Merchant

The little blue man just want to hook some eletrodes to your head. It will not hurt. He will provide a partner. Just a little jolt while your having sex.

2) The little girl, all freckles and pig tails,

She sings and skips rope

"Come out to play,

Come out to play,

Come out to play,

Come out to DIE!"

she appears over and over,just too far away......

3) The Old Washer Woman

in a site out of place, you smell hot apple pie and soap. You come over a rise and see a small cottage and huge wash tub. Pies on the window sill clothes out to dry. She calls to you. "Come have a soak" You are oddly compelled and sit in the tub. She yanks on you and a flesh colored body suit comes out. She puts it on her wash board and scrubs and scrubs. Hopefully your soul isnt that dirty.Hopefully.She puts it back in you with"Nice and New' or a "Can't get out the spots....". The scene disapears, leaving only a fine smelling apple pie.

4) The Producers

Your sight fades to black, suddenly you are in the court yard of an unfamilier castle. An open door shows the way.

Inside are three men lit slightly from the bottom.3 chairs with two men in them and a third man stands apart, smoking. "I am Serling, this is Howard and Lovecraft" as he points.He knows everything about you and shares way too much amung your friends.He speaks cryticly of the past, and even more crypticly of the future

5) The Dice Man

An normal looking man aproaches, he is tossing something into the air and catching it with his other hand. Over and over. He passes by you and you can see he has 2 dice he's tossing around. He turns and starts to follow. Roll the dice? He says with a sinister smile. That is his only cry. If you extend your hand he will put them into it. You roll. He shakes his head at the number.

"too bad" he says as he walks away. "Too bad...."

6) The Doomsday Man

A man with a placard walks by. It reads- The End is Nigh.As he passes ,in a whisper he says something you don't understand and yet you do. In some sort of universal language, he point to the hour of your death. A second before you die, you understand the words clearly.

7) The Cats

A cat begins to walk behind you meowing once or twice. You walk further. another cat appears, then another, silently they follow, soon becoming many. They try to lead you into a dark passage if you follow you will see a body, turn the body over and it has your face. The cats scream and disapear,so then does the body.

8) in the restroom

You are making water in a public restroom. You hear the same sound you are making next to you but no one is there. You turn and face the mirror and see the back of a notable kill you have made , standing next to where you were. If left alone it will leave without a sound.If you speak to it ,It will face you in the mirror and say"We all gotta go' don't we? and disapear.

9)The man and the children

Late at night you see a man talking excitedly to a small throng of children as you get closer, you heaar your name. If you listen to the tale, he is recounting in vivid detail the secret you are holding most dear. Then he begins to talk about your current affairs and ends with "and he died" When confronted, he will be telling a differant story and the children will act approapriatly

10) The Gift

A dirty old woman goes to you. The toothless crone extends a package, hands and package covered in dirt. You un wrap the package and see a skull filled with wine . She says "drink and learn" If you do you are given the memories of a man you killed and buried. At night you will nightmare his death over and over but there could be knowlage and wisdom from his dead thoughts

11) The Sword

You carry the magic sword of a man you slew. On nights of the full moon, the first time you look at every man , you see his face for a fraction of a second. Then you see him in a once in a while dream. He comes to you more and more. He wants the sword back.

12) The Voice

You hear it once. Sort of. Then you hear it again. Your name spoken by your dead lover. You begin to hear it more and more frequently. If you return to thier grave,overgrown withweed, a single rose sprouts. He wanted you to have it.

13) The Coach

You need to get somewhere fast. A mysterious coach is there. The Driver says" Do not look out the windows. Howls from hell and sirens call to yoy. Again He yells"Do not look out the windows. You draw open the curtains. You see horror and splendor, pain and extacy. You are never the same.

14) The Lost Lovers

A man haunts your dreams. A woman haunts your friend. Together you are drawn to two differant graves. They want to be buried together. Then they will releace you.

15)The Dog

A womqn and boy stop you. They have a dog with them"Mister , this is your dog,right" the boy says.Yes it is you answer. My childhood pet that died saving me from a dire wolf.The boy releases the dog and it follows you every where, barking if you don't let it every where with you. It follows over planes and contenents. You let it fight by your side, Till it gives up it's life to save you again.

16)The Table

An odd band of adventurers invite you to thier table,strange acsents and dress abound. They regail you with tales of daring do,one tale more fantastic than the last.Then these forgotten gods disapear. Leaving you with quite a bill.

17)The Battlefield

You camp at the monument to an incredably old battlefield. In the middle of the night, one lone ghost screams. He wants to be reunited with his comrades. Do nothing and he fades away. Find his body under the monument and put it in the mass grave and be rewarded.

18)Your Aunt

Sitting at your favorite taven, one of your companions starts acting very odd. Slowly you realize they are channelling your long dead,favorite aunt. If you humor her she can bring secrets beyond the grave

19)The Gambler

Looking for a hight stakes game, the gambler places 7 chips on your side of the table and seven chips and a magic item on his. You ask what are the stakes. He says "In your Heart You Know"

20) The Boyhood Friend

You are crossing a stream when a young boy with a fishing pole offers you one and asks you to fish with him. If you do ,you laugh and frolic. Months later you discover your boyhood friend died at that exact moment.

21)

The Orc

You see an orc crying in the night. If you talk to him, he says he was cursed by a mage. He feels remorse for all his orcish deeds. What do you do?

22) The unlikely couple

You come across a very good looking elvish baroness. She tells you of her love for a dwarf. You know this whoring, ugly, drinking bastard. What do you do?

23) A Chamber Pot

A chamber pot is emptied on your head from above.Ground Hog Day lasting about 12 seconds

24) The hoof beats

You are camping for a while at a spot along a road. You hear ghostly hoof beats every night at 2 am. They are dead knights who were executed for being late to a battle. They need a way across a river to rest in peace
Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity