I need ideas for 30 Goblin Gifts

[Cheka Man]

So, does anyone have any goblin gifts?  We've done dwarves and orcs. Here is what I have so far. (obviously when I do the submission properly, I'll write it down far better, this is the rough notes stage.)

1-Goblin Beer-To humans this tastes disgusting, but if a PC has accidently ingested poison and needs to vomit it up, chugging down some Goblin Beer will do the trick.
2-Information-Goblins are masters of finding things out.
3-Goblin spring loaded blade. A button unlocks the blade and makes it flick out, a second button shoots the blade out. The range is only three feet or so but at that range a successful hit buries the blade deep into the opponent's body.
4-Thumbscrews in case the PCs need/want to torture somebody
5-A large blue mushroom ,eating it puts a PC to sleep for 1D10 hours (and it can be used to drug others by cutting it up and spiking their drink.)

Any more ideas? I'll make sure you are credited in the submission when I write it.

[Dozus]

6. Goblin Jerky - Cured meat made from cat, rat, skunk, or other odious animals. It smells disgusting, tastes even worse, and has a texture closer to leather than meat.
7. Dabazook Mushrooms - Small, bright green, slimy mushrooms. They're not good for eating, except by goblins. The slime has some mild restorative properties and might cure light wounds, but it will itch terribly.
8. Light Balls - Small, white, rubbery orbs. When struck they glow a dim but workable light, a work of goblin alchemy. They're bouncy if thrown.
9. Zapper - A small wooden box with a button on top and three copper prongs on the front. Inside the box is a metal plunger and a stack of what smells like fish meat. It's a stack of electric organs harvested from electric eels and it works roughly like a tazer, although it's only good for one or two shocks.
10. Shrunken elf head - This is considered a great honor to receive. The head of one elf, cured and shrunken, its skin like fine leather. The eyes and mouth are sewn shut, the ears are tattered, and the long hair has been tied together to form a rope-like handle.
11. Shiny thing - A seemingly random assortment of useless trinkets, the only thing they have in common is their shiny appearance. Goblins love shiny things, and it's tradition to give, receive, and steal them.

[Dozus]

12. Nose ring - These are passed down from generation to generation, and though typically very simple, are considered sentimentally valuable. Giving someone a nose ring formally confers kinship status.
13. Slaves - Considered a modest gift in goblin culture, as supply of goblins is high and demand is generally low. Slaves might be members of opposing tribes captured in battle, or a goblin's own less desirable kin or children. It's also typical for a goblin slave to run away from his new master and rejoin his tribe, usually after stealing something.
14. Bone jewelry - Bone and teeth, harvested from small animals or other goblins, are the most common material for goblin jewelers to use. This could range from mouse skulls strung on a necklace to a finer arrangement of more delicate bones.
15. Goblin cake! - A traditional dessert served for feasts and functions. These are served with cheerful songs and gleaming knives, and to turn down the offer of cake is a great insult. Do not ask what's in it - just smile, chew, swallow, and hope it's over soon.

[Murometz]

love #9!

16. Trained Bat(s). If you ever need a faithful echo-locator, this is the gift for you. The bat is not a familiar, but rather literally a particular species of blood-sucking bat trained by special Goblin bat-wranglers. By day, it is perfectly content folded up in your rucksack (as long as the fabric can be breathed through), or even hanging from your belt. By night, the creature hunts the skies for nourishment, and is capable of simple tasks. "Retrieve" (something quite small), "Find" (as in, the way out of this blasted cave!), and "Pester" (as in shriek real loud and claw at that annoying elf's perfectly coiffed hair) being the most common commands the bat can be expected to execute.

17. Stinking Fleece. This ragged, mildewed, intensely smelly, and partially torn goat's fleece, is actually magicked, though you probably wouldn't want to wear it in public. The goblin's have no issues with bad aromas or aesthetically displeasing clothes, so they consider this quite the gift. If donned, the fleece will keep a wearer slightly warmer if it is cold, and slightly cooler if there is unbearable heat. The odor emanating from this "cloak" is somewhat nauseating to most non-goblinoids. Additionally, somewhere out there, a flayed, horrifying-to-behold undead goat, searches for it's hide.

[Gossamer]

18. Box of lacquered boogers in assorted shapes and sizes. Wormtongue's prized collection.

[Murometz]

Goss, I'd title that one, "S'not a gift!"

19. Urine Luck!
Goblin piss is an underrated resource. Most erudite blokes are familiar with the general properties of piss, and its potential applications, but Goblin's urine is surprisingly more potent than the Human equivalent. The "gift" is a vial of goblin urine, that replenishes (re-fills) itself upon being emptied. How is this a gift I can hear you asking? Just peruse the Wikipedia article on "urine" and magnify/alter/enhance whichever bizarre property/application might apply.

[Murometz]

20. Helm of Arse-Protection
The goblins look surprised if questioned as to this strange item's purpose. It is a *helm*, they say, to protect your *back-side*. Why would this confuse you humans? The helm functions as a normal helm if donned upon one's head (if it even fits a head). However, if used as it's intended, the helm provides a +1 armor/defense bonus to your backside. What the goblins will be loathe to reveal however, is that the helm was once an ogre's helm, and now has holes punched in it for legs. Why ask why? Do not look a gift-horse in the arse!

[axlerowes]

21. A Bag Full of Goblin Infants

"All the families in the tribe took up a collection for ya! We all reached deep and spared what we could...remember to cut their nails or they will claw their own eyes out."

[axlerowes]

22: BOOM SAUCE:

EVERY GOBLIN HUT WIFE KNOWS THE SECRET TO HAPPY MATING SEASON IS BOOM SAUCE

The delicious, highly explosive, aphrodisiac that does everything.

When frozen, it freezes at 65 degrees F, it is a high unstable trans-dimensional explosive.

Makes a delightful glaze for meat and fruit. A Gelfing steak just isn't a Gelfling steak with out BOOM SAUCE.

Boil it down with animal fat and spice up your love life....for arousal lasting more than four hour days please consult your shaman



.

[Cheka Man]

23-Copper Disc of Goblin Friendship

Marks the wearer out as a friend of goblins, many goblins but by no means all of them will respect this and not try to hurt the bearer unless attacked or provoked.

24-Goblin Marsh shoes-These let goblins walk in marshy areas without getting bogged down by distributing the weight across a wider area. It is uncertain as to if it would work for humans or not without lots of adaptation.

25-[Funeral Grave and Grave Silver] looted from tombs in the area

[Cheka Man]

axlerowes: 26-Marsh shoes...just shoes with mud in them
Cheka Man: lol
Cheka Man: how about a goblin praise song? lol
axlerowes: You remind me of the babe
Cheka Man: )
Murometz: a teensy weensy minor mud elemental, a gift from the goblin shaman... 2 hps, size of a walnut
Murometz: 27- ^
Cheka Man: 28-Three pointed dagger,
Cheka Man: a jitte
axlerowes: need to have something absurd
Cheka Man: a skilled person can auctally break a sword with it
axlerowes: that would be ironic that the goblins have it
Cheka Man: 29-captured Elvish harp? lol
axlerowes: yeah
axlerowes: but maybe more absurd
axlerowes: a goblin self help book of some sort....

[Murometz]

26. Teensy, Weensy, minor Mud Elemental
A gift from the goblin shaman. He almost had a heart attack and popped some blood vessels summoning the thing. Best you appreciate his gesture. It is the size of a walnut, but in all other respects, a proper creature of elemental mud.

[Cheka Man]

Cheka Man: 30-Fart gas bomb? )
Murometz: i think our work here is done
Cheka Man: yay
Murometz: release the kraken!
axlerowes: call it Poo-gas
axlerowes: funnier
Cheka Man: I'll write the 30 when rl lets me