A shout comes from above as a huge sloshing barrel, marked "Grog", plummets down. Riding the barrel is a penguin, dressed in a ridiculous pirate costume, complete with tattered jacket, giant feather plumed hat, rose-lensed goggles, and a wooden toy sword. The penguin slings you a frosty mug of foamy, green, salty grog.
"D'arr! I be Cap'n Penguin! Welcome teh' th' Citadel! Is a vamp somethin' like a vampire, cuz' if it are, why then I be sayin' don't stand to long in yon sunlight, yarr!"