llamaenterhear
Username: Password:

Author Topic: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!  (Read 12462 times)

0 Members and 1 Lonely Barbarian are spying on this topic.

Offline CaptainPenguin

  • Bastardo!
  • Squirrel Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 5869
  • Awards Questor Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2003, 09:39:29 PM »
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I was so sad without you, sniperspy, ya' shoulda' seen it!
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #51 on: May 14, 2003, 11:06:28 PM »
Come on sniperspy their are no losers here!  There may be dragons, elves, faries, wolves and occasoinal pengiun but no losers! :wink:  And I would have been sad if I were here ot realize that you had retired be for you came out of retirment!
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #52 on: May 16, 2003, 09:58:35 PM »
ya im like micheal jordan there!! j/k
thnx though
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #53 on: May 16, 2003, 10:38:44 PM »
:D No problem!  Micheal!  :roll:
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #54 on: May 19, 2003, 08:27:54 PM »
didnt you see the j/k???
Thats the problem with folks these days, never pay attention to details!!!!!
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #55 on: May 19, 2003, 10:38:58 PM »
My mistake.................. Micheal! :wink:
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #56 on: May 20, 2003, 05:50:55 PM »
I think your missing the point here :D
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #57 on: May 20, 2003, 06:58:09 PM »
Your right I probably am why don't you refresh my memory! :D
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline CaptainPenguin

  • Bastardo!
  • Squirrel Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 5869
  • Awards Questor Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #58 on: May 20, 2003, 08:36:01 PM »
Hmmm..........
We know that they are fools, but the question remains, gentleman, what kind of fools are they?
 :?
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #59 on: May 20, 2003, 09:06:03 PM »
The kind that eat flightless birds for dinner :dracoliche:
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline CaptainPenguin

  • Bastardo!
  • Squirrel Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 5869
  • Awards Questor Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #60 on: May 20, 2003, 09:07:06 PM »
That's what you think!
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #61 on: May 20, 2003, 09:10:16 PM »
:D Nope thats what I know just be glad that it's time for dessert and everybody knows penguin is only good as an appetizer!
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #62 on: May 22, 2003, 05:53:36 PM »
ya, you would be a fool for eating a flightless bird for dinner. Everyone knows they are appetizers[/u]!!!
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline Adel

  • King
  • ****
  • Posts: 938
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #63 on: May 22, 2003, 10:59:12 PM »
No actually penguin soup is excellent for dinner and penguin ca-bobs is great for an appetizer but they are no good for dessert
Adel
a simple girl with a complex past

Authentic Strolenite®©

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #64 on: May 23, 2003, 05:09:10 PM »
right, who wants a leathery aftertaste?
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline CaptainPenguin

  • Bastardo!
  • Squirrel Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 5869
  • Awards Questor Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #65 on: August 01, 2003, 04:25:20 PM »
You should really try elf. It's kinda' sweet, like lamb, except it's aftertaste is salty.
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline sniperspy

  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 1412
    • Awards
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #66 on: August 01, 2003, 08:10:44 PM »
I discourage canibalism so will never try elf myself. You all can help yourselves as long as you do not kill the elf just to eat it.
Bow down to the almighty ruler of your pitiful existance!

Offline Ancient Gamer

  • Hammer of the Citadel
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3885
  • Enough about you, let's talk about me!
  • Awards 2013 Best Play By Post Game Elite Systems Guild Elite Plot Guild Elite Item Guild Hall of Heroes 10 Golden Creator
    • Coldforged Home
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #67 on: December 22, 2006, 08:20:12 AM »
Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack...

Genius name!

Wonder what kind of reproductive organs them beholders have anyway... The eleventh eye? "Eye of Offspring"... Perhaps the tongue serves a special purpose? Perhaps it bites into a host, alien-wise, and then thrusts its tongue into the flesh of the host, to lay eggs that will hatch. Then one day fledgling beholders are gonna... burst out of the blood vessels?

If they have more regular ways... Well, I kind of imagine two balloons trying to get it on...

Must suck to be a beholder!
Authentic Strolenite™©®

"Secretly a Squirrel"
Guild Master of the Squirrelati
Scourge of Nutanuns!
Harbinger of Acorns!


Offline Wulfhere

  • Intimidator of Insolent Upstarts
  • Strolenati
  • Grand Master
  • *
  • Posts: 706
  • Awards Locations Guild Lifeforms Guild Item Guild Golden Creator Hall of Heroes 10 Elite Item Guild
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #68 on: December 22, 2006, 12:14:16 PM »
Lewd Beholder's Love Shack...

The Love Shack of Lewd Beholder...

What sort of place would that be?

I'm picturing some sort of decadent tavern, deep within the earth.
"Nothing real can defeat us:  Nothing unreal exists."
- Buckaroo Banzai

Offline LithTheBlade

  • The Blood Angel
  • Guardian
  • **
  • Posts: 203
  • I'm crazy? Insane? Don't care, you decide.
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #69 on: December 27, 2006, 04:06:24 AM »
As a demon/angel anomily(sp?) mutt, I would have to say the Luv-Shack of Lewd Beholder would have to be underground, as beholders tend to live there from my personal experience. Terrible menaces, with the spells and the teeth and the constant hovering. They taste quite good when roasted with a fireball though.
"Try to kill me, I'll be laughing," Celak

"You want to know who I am? Or WHAT I am? There is a huge difference," Kui

"Assassinate the assassin, then shoot the plane down!" Saul

"I once ate a skinned cat. It's owner didn't like me much after that," Dave

"Nymphs! OH MY MASTER NYMPHS!" Stev

Offline Scrasamax

  • The Rogue Scholar
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3482
  • 20% Cooler
  • Awards 2013 Most Submissions 2012 Most Quest Submissions Elite Questor Elite Systems Guild Gold Creator 10 Hall of Heroes 10
    • Scras' Blog
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #70 on: December 27, 2006, 10:42:12 AM »
What most people do not know is that the internal composition of a Beholder is nearly 45% reproductive organs. Much like starfish or sea urchins, each beholder produces literally millions of offspring during their lifespan, the great majority of which do not reach even a year in age before falling prey to native micropredators and their most pressing foe, other beholders.


Stout Lagerale of the Dwarven Guild
STR: 4 | END: 4 | CON: 4 | DEX: 2 | CHA: 2 | INT: 4

Tentacle Tentacle Sanity Schmanity

Offline Wulfhere

  • Intimidator of Insolent Upstarts
  • Strolenati
  • Grand Master
  • *
  • Posts: 706
  • Awards Locations Guild Lifeforms Guild Item Guild Golden Creator Hall of Heroes 10 Elite Item Guild
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #71 on: December 27, 2006, 11:05:58 AM »
I’m not sure that your hypothesis is universally accurate, as beholders vary wildly in appearance and anatomy.  I suspect that while many beholders haphazardly release millions of nearly helpless spawn, gleefully devouring any of the revolting little parasites that remain near their lairs, beholders reaching the end of their lifespan carefully select and groom their “heirs”.  These creatures kill all but a handful of their spawn, and then select one from the surviving remnant to survive.   Invariably choosing the beholderling that looks most like them, they shape their descendant to be their exact double.  Upon the death of the elder orb, the spawn generally devours its ancestor.   A few keep the dead beholder around as a memento, hollowing it out like a gruesome piñata.

While it may be true that beholders have more in common with starfish and other invertebrates than is commonly supposed, that sidesteps the burning question of what sort of “Luv Shack”  a beholder would prefer.  I have this image of walls covered with shag carpet (padding, in case the reproductive activities of the orbs grow too frenzied) with multicolored disco balls providing suggestive illumination.  Enslaved minstrels playing Barry Manilow’s greatest hits (Mandy, anyone?) complete the terrifying picture…
"Nothing real can defeat us:  Nothing unreal exists."
- Buckaroo Banzai

Offline Pariah

  • The Guildless
  • Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 1369
  • Awards Item Guild Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #72 on: December 27, 2006, 06:45:03 PM »
:shock: That's a, errr, wonderful mental picture there Wulf...  *shudder*
They were immediately and absolutely recognizable as adventurers... They were hardy and dangerous, lawless, stripped of allegiance or morality, living off their wits, stealing and killing, hiring themselves out to whoever and whatever came. They were inspired by dubious virtues.  China Mieville - Perdido Street Station

Offline LithTheBlade

  • The Blood Angel
  • Guardian
  • **
  • Posts: 203
  • I'm crazy? Insane? Don't care, you decide.
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #73 on: December 28, 2006, 01:49:43 AM »
Not the worst type of shack I've ever heard of, well, seen, *shudder*, however, still very disturbing.
"Try to kill me, I'll be laughing," Celak

"You want to know who I am? Or WHAT I am? There is a huge difference," Kui

"Assassinate the assassin, then shoot the plane down!" Saul

"I once ate a skinned cat. It's owner didn't like me much after that," Dave

"Nymphs! OH MY MASTER NYMPHS!" Stev

Offline Dozus

  • the Windward
  • Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 1292
  • Cephalopod
  • Awards Questor 2012 Society of the Year Elite Item Guild Golden Creator Hall of Heroes 10 2010 Society of the Year
    • Awards
Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!
« Reply #74 on: March 03, 2007, 09:46:07 PM »
Woo!

Dozus the Windward
Swashbuckler
LEVEL 1
Cartography Guild Minor Minion
STR: 4 | END: 2 | CON: 4 | DEX: 3 | CHA: 3 | INT: 4