101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!

[Dossta]

This is a fun idea I was kicking around with a friend.  I wanted to make it a full 101 before releasing it to the main site, but ran dry at 80.  Please help me finish!

As a superhero or mutant, you have gained the power to:

• Run twice as fast when naked
• Make any candle burn with the power of two lumens
• Know the full ancestry and family history of a person you don't know
• Know whether a plane will crash after it has taken off
• Change your ears to any shape imaginable
• Teleport – but only to work
• Time travel – but only to next Monday.
• Accurately predict the score of any amateur mini-golf match
• Predict the last three finishers of any horse race
• Make anything taste like garlic
• Gain control over one atom at a time
• Change the message in anyone's fortune cookie
• Change wine to water
• Change silver to lead and gold to tungsten
• Become completely nonbouyant
• Increase or decrease the temperature of a room by 5 degrees
• Make one other person believe that they have super powers
• Instantly identify the source of any smell
• Sweat Gatorade
• Instantly gain as much weight as you like (you still have to work it off)
• Make yourself invisible to one person at a time
• Talk to pigeons
• Hear what dogs are saying, but be unable to speak back
• Turn any carpet to shag
• Grow a tail (it has to be cut off)
• Get a song stuck in someone else's head
• Make anyone say an inappropriate word by pointing at them
• Locking eyes with someone for a few seconds will cause them to urinate uncontrollably
• Change anyone's keyboard layout to DVORAK
• Make anyone .5 inches taller or shorter, but only when concentrating on that person
• Give anyone an ice-cream headache
• Excrete a pheromone that makes you utterly repulsive to members of the opposite gender
• Speak puns in any language
• Always know the location of the nearest public restroom
• Emit a weak radioactive field
• Bend all your joints backwards
• Observe someone else's dreams
• Use your saliva as a weak glue
• Rearrange your facial features
• Re-size any clothing to fit you perfectly
• Make anything smell like wet dog
• Slightly increase the effect of gravity around you
• Make yourself test positive for any drug
• Perfectly imitate the sounds from a modem, car alarm and microwave
• Know your enemy's biggest personality flaw
• Make any stain permanent
• Infuse water with the scent of  pineapple
• The ability to predict the results of any game played on a Tuesday
• Attract lighting strikes
• Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing
• Forget the past hour of your life at will
• Always land on your feet
• Instantly turn milk to yogurt
• Make your own hands super slippery
• Know the middle name of anyone you encounter
• Decrease the denomination of any bill by touching it
• Run as quickly backwards as you can forwards
• Make any liquid instantly become room temperature
• Make a sound that will attract every cat within a half mile radius
• Force all your body hair – including that on your head – to fall off at once
• Drink salt water safely
• Always remember if you're forgetting something
• Always know where true North is
• Predict to the minute the next rainfall
• Always look like the wind is blowing through your hair, even indoors
• Change the color of your urine
• Transform into a minnow
• Know if someone is watching you
• Remember anything you read, but only for a day
• Sprout daisies under your feet as you walk
• Piss weak beer
• Teleport one inch in any direction
• Flap your arms so fast you can hover for up to five seconds
• Set your own hair on fire
• Shed your skin like a snake
• Slow time down, but only for yourself
• Jump twice as high as a normal person
• Grow feathers in place of hair
• Predict any coin flip, as long as you've touched the coin first
• Create a two square foot spot of shade

[Strolen]

• Redirect the glare of the sun with your hand like a mirror
• Make a clock run backwards (not time, just the clock)
• Psychic for only immediate wants (not for anything important, best used in a McD's and you will know the order a moment before they actually order it. Only works on insignificant wants that will be almost immediately verbalized)
• Create a Marilyn Monroe upskirt wind at will. (with effort can cause cape flapping breeze for effect)
• Extend belly to beyond largest pregnant size
• Hear baby monitor chatter when close enough
• Pour a cup of water from finger daily
• Cause someones vision to pinpoint/fog momentarily 

[Ted]

1: Twitter Roleplay Skills
2: Always mistaken as a prostitute
3: Always get blamed for Farting
4: Women you are sexually attracted to only find you cute in a sexual manner.
5: Can make others taste that Benadryl aftertaste
6: Your touch makes soda go flat
7: Your strolen comment upvotes are worth 1 extra XP
8: You pee lava
9: You automatically know if a male is circumcised is not
10: Your dandruff is cocaine
11: You can immediately kill someone's arousal
12: Immediately tell if water is hard or not
13: Know what color underwear any person was wearing- yesterday
14: Your poop teleports to random locations
15: All salad your prepare tastes burnt
16: Can regrow snail shells by touch
17: Can post cute cat photos on facebook purely by thinking about it
18: Police Radar Guns list you as going 20 MPH faster than you really are
19: Your inner Chi is shaped like a penis
20: You have prehensile hair
21: Pigeon control
22: Any gun you fire has a localized bullet-time affecting only bullets you shoot
23: You fail upwards

[Chaosmark]

My friend and I go through this idea every so often. We always called it, "Worst. Superpower. Ever."

1) The ability to fill a room with confetti.
2) The ability to un-salt food.
3) The ability to make any pillow explode in a burst of stuffing.
4) The ability to fart rainbows.

[Pariah]

Some of these could actually have some use, and I'd totally date a girl with "Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing"

[Dossta]

Oh, most of these could probably be useful under the right circumstances.  The key is that they should ideally be too specific or too embarrassing to be a fall-back 100% of the time.  Trivial probably is a better word.