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Author Topic: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!  (Read 1228 times)

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Offline Dossta

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101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« on: September 28, 2012, 01:22:49 AM »
This is a fun idea I was kicking around with a friend.  I wanted to make it a full 101 before releasing it to the main site, but ran dry at 80.  Please help me finish!

As a superhero or mutant, you have gained the power to:
  • Run twice as fast when naked
  • Make any candle burn with the power of two lumens
  • Know the full ancestry and family history of a person you don't know
  • Know whether a plane will crash after it has taken off
  • Change your ears to any shape imaginable
  • Teleport – but only to work
  • Time travel – but only to next Monday.
  • Accurately predict the score of any amateur mini-golf match
  • Predict the last three finishers of any horse race
  • Make anything taste like garlic
  • Gain control over one atom at a time
  • Change the message in anyone's fortune cookie
  • Change wine to water
  • Change silver to lead and gold to tungsten
  • Become completely nonbouyant
  • Increase or decrease the temperature of a room by 5 degrees
  • Make one other person believe that they have super powers
  • Instantly identify the source of any smell
  • Sweat Gatorade
  • Instantly gain as much weight as you like (you still have to work it off)
  • Make yourself invisible to one person at a time
  • Talk to pigeons
  • Hear what dogs are saying, but be unable to speak back
  • Turn any carpet to shag
  • Grow a tail (it has to be cut off)
  • Get a song stuck in someone else's head
  • Make anyone say an inappropriate word by pointing at them
  • Locking eyes with someone for a few seconds will cause them to urinate uncontrollably
  • Change anyone's keyboard layout to DVORAK
  • Make anyone .5 inches taller or shorter, but only when concentrating on that person
  • Give anyone an ice-cream headache
  • Excrete a pheromone that makes you utterly repulsive to members of the opposite gender
  • Speak puns in any language
  • Always know the location of the nearest public restroom
  • Emit a weak radioactive field
  • Bend all your joints backwards
  • Observe someone else's dreams
  • Use your saliva as a weak glue
  • Rearrange your facial features
  • Re-size any clothing to fit you perfectly
  • Make anything smell like wet dog
  • Slightly increase the effect of gravity around you
  • Make yourself test positive for any drug
  • Perfectly imitate the sounds from a modem, car alarm and microwave
  • Know your enemy's biggest personality flaw
  • Make any stain permanent
  • Infuse water with the scent of  pineapple
  • The ability to predict the results of any game played on a Tuesday
  • Attract lighting strikes
  • Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing
  • Forget the past hour of your life at will
  • Always land on your feet
  • Instantly turn milk to yogurt
  • Make your own hands super slippery
  • Know the middle name of anyone you encounter
  • Decrease the denomination of any bill by touching it
  • Run as quickly backwards as you can forwards
  • Make any liquid instantly become room temperature
  • Make a sound that will attract every cat within a half mile radius
  • Force all your body hair – including that on your head – to fall off at once
  • Drink salt water safely
  • Always remember if you're forgetting something
  • Always know where true North is
  • Predict to the minute the next rainfall
  • Always look like the wind is blowing through your hair, even indoors
  • Change the color of your urine
  • Transform into a minnow
  • Know if someone is watching you
  • Remember anything you read, but only for a day
  • Sprout daisies under your feet as you walk
  • Piss weak beer
  • Teleport one inch in any direction
  • Flap your arms so fast you can hover for up to five seconds
  • Set your own hair on fire
  • Shed your skin like a snake
  • Slow time down, but only for yourself
  • Jump twice as high as a normal person
  • Grow feathers in place of hair
  • Predict any coin flip, as long as you've touched the coin first
  • Create a two square foot spot of shade

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Offline Strolen

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2012, 02:16:44 AM »
  • Redirect the glare of the sun with your hand like a mirror
  • Make a clock run backwards (not time, just the clock)
  • Psychic for only immediate wants (not for anything important, best used in a McD's and you will know the order a moment before they actually order it. Only works on insignificant wants that will be almost immediately verbalized)
  • Create a Marilyn Monroe upskirt wind at will. (with effort can cause cape flapping breeze for effect)
  • Extend belly to beyond largest pregnant size
  • Hear baby monitor chatter when close enough
  • Pour a cup of water from finger daily
  • Cause someones vision to pinpoint/fog momentarily 

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Offline Ted

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2012, 04:12:48 AM »
1: Twitter Roleplay Skills
2: Always mistaken as a prostitute
3: Always get blamed for Farting
4: Women you are sexually attracted to only find you cute in a sexual manner.
5: Can make others taste that Benadryl aftertaste
6: Your touch makes soda go flat
7: Your strolen comment upvotes are worth 1 extra XP
8: You pee lava
9: You automatically know if a male is circumcised is not
10: Your dandruff is cocaine
11: You can immediately kill someone's arousal
12: Immediately tell if water is hard or not
13: Know what color underwear any person was wearing- yesterday
14: Your poop teleports to random locations
15: All salad your prepare tastes burnt
16: Can regrow snail shells by touch
17: Can post cute cat photos on facebook purely by thinking about it
18: Police Radar Guns list you as going 20 MPH faster than you really are
19: Your inner Chi is shaped like a penis
20: You have prehensile hair
21: Pigeon control
22: Any gun you fire has a localized bullet-time affecting only bullets you shoot
23: You fail upwards
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. When one gazes into an abyss, he is gazed into by the abyss.-Friedrich Nietzsche.

Offline Chaosmark

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2012, 10:45:07 AM »
My friend and I go through this idea every so often. We always called it, "Worst. Superpower. Ever."

1) The ability to fill a room with confetti.
2) The ability to un-salt food.
3) The ability to make any pillow explode in a burst of stuffing.
4) The ability to fart rainbows.
P(A|B) = P(B|A)*P(A)/P(B)

By the power of Bayes!

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Offline Pariah

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2012, 05:26:58 PM »
Some of these could actually have some use, and I'd totally date a girl with "Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing"
One can cure oneself of the not un- formation by memorizing this sentence: A not unblack dog was chasing a not unsmall rabbit across a not ungreen field.  Orwell

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Offline Dossta

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2012, 11:35:48 PM »
Oh, most of these could probably be useful under the right circumstances.  The key is that they should ideally be too specific or too embarrassing to be a fall-back 100% of the time.  Trivial probably is a better word.

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STR: 4 | END: 4 | CON: 3 | DEX: 6 | CHA: 3 | INT: 5
"The omniscient have no need for beliefs and no room for delusion."