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Author Topic: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!  (Read 734 times)

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Offline Dossta

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101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« on: September 28, 2012, 01:22:49 AM »
This is a fun idea I was kicking around with a friend.  I wanted to make it a full 101 before releasing it to the main site, but ran dry at 80.  Please help me finish!

As a superhero or mutant, you have gained the power to:
  • Run twice as fast when naked
  • Make any candle burn with the power of two lumens
  • Know the full ancestry and family history of a person you don't know
  • Know whether a plane will crash after it has taken off
  • Change your ears to any shape imaginable
  • Teleport – but only to work
  • Time travel – but only to next Monday.
  • Accurately predict the score of any amateur mini-golf match
  • Predict the last three finishers of any horse race
  • Make anything taste like garlic
  • Gain control over one atom at a time
  • Change the message in anyone's fortune cookie
  • Change wine to water
  • Change silver to lead and gold to tungsten
  • Become completely nonbouyant
  • Increase or decrease the temperature of a room by 5 degrees
  • Make one other person believe that they have super powers
  • Instantly identify the source of any smell
  • Sweat Gatorade
  • Instantly gain as much weight as you like (you still have to work it off)
  • Make yourself invisible to one person at a time
  • Talk to pigeons
  • Hear what dogs are saying, but be unable to speak back
  • Turn any carpet to shag
  • Grow a tail (it has to be cut off)
  • Get a song stuck in someone else's head
  • Make anyone say an inappropriate word by pointing at them
  • Locking eyes with someone for a few seconds will cause them to urinate uncontrollably
  • Change anyone's keyboard layout to DVORAK
  • Make anyone .5 inches taller or shorter, but only when concentrating on that person
  • Give anyone an ice-cream headache
  • Excrete a pheromone that makes you utterly repulsive to members of the opposite gender
  • Speak puns in any language
  • Always know the location of the nearest public restroom
  • Emit a weak radioactive field
  • Bend all your joints backwards
  • Observe someone else's dreams
  • Use your saliva as a weak glue
  • Rearrange your facial features
  • Re-size any clothing to fit you perfectly
  • Make anything smell like wet dog
  • Slightly increase the effect of gravity around you
  • Make yourself test positive for any drug
  • Perfectly imitate the sounds from a modem, car alarm and microwave
  • Know your enemy's biggest personality flaw
  • Make any stain permanent
  • Infuse water with the scent of  pineapple
  • The ability to predict the results of any game played on a Tuesday
  • Attract lighting strikes
  • Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing
  • Forget the past hour of your life at will
  • Always land on your feet
  • Instantly turn milk to yogurt
  • Make your own hands super slippery
  • Know the middle name of anyone you encounter
  • Decrease the denomination of any bill by touching it
  • Run as quickly backwards as you can forwards
  • Make any liquid instantly become room temperature
  • Make a sound that will attract every cat within a half mile radius
  • Force all your body hair – including that on your head – to fall off at once
  • Drink salt water safely
  • Always remember if you're forgetting something
  • Always know where true North is
  • Predict to the minute the next rainfall
  • Always look like the wind is blowing through your hair, even indoors
  • Change the color of your urine
  • Transform into a minnow
  • Know if someone is watching you
  • Remember anything you read, but only for a day
  • Sprout daisies under your feet as you walk
  • Piss weak beer
  • Teleport one inch in any direction
  • Flap your arms so fast you can hover for up to five seconds
  • Set your own hair on fire
  • Shed your skin like a snake
  • Slow time down, but only for yourself
  • Jump twice as high as a normal person
  • Grow feathers in place of hair
  • Predict any coin flip, as long as you've touched the coin first
  • Create a two square foot spot of shade

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Offline Strolen

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2012, 02:16:44 AM »
  • Redirect the glare of the sun with your hand like a mirror
  • Make a clock run backwards (not time, just the clock)
  • Psychic for only immediate wants (not for anything important, best used in a McD's and you will know the order a moment before they actually order it. Only works on insignificant wants that will be almost immediately verbalized)
  • Create a Marilyn Monroe upskirt wind at will. (with effort can cause cape flapping breeze for effect)
  • Extend belly to beyond largest pregnant size
  • Hear baby monitor chatter when close enough
  • Pour a cup of water from finger daily
  • Cause someones vision to pinpoint/fog momentarily 

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Offline Ted

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2012, 04:12:48 AM »
1: Twitter Roleplay Skills
2: Always mistaken as a prostitute
3: Always get blamed for Farting
4: Women you are sexually attracted to only find you cute in a sexual manner.
5: Can make others taste that Benadryl aftertaste
6: Your touch makes soda go flat
7: Your strolen comment upvotes are worth 1 extra XP
8: You pee lava
9: You automatically know if a male is circumcised is not
10: Your dandruff is cocaine
11: You can immediately kill someone's arousal
12: Immediately tell if water is hard or not
13: Know what color underwear any person was wearing- yesterday
14: Your poop teleports to random locations
15: All salad your prepare tastes burnt
16: Can regrow snail shells by touch
17: Can post cute cat photos on facebook purely by thinking about it
18: Police Radar Guns list you as going 20 MPH faster than you really are
19: Your inner Chi is shaped like a penis
20: You have prehensile hair
21: Pigeon control
22: Any gun you fire has a localized bullet-time affecting only bullets you shoot
23: You fail upwards
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. When one gazes into an abyss, he is gazed into by the abyss.-Friedrich Nietzsche.

Offline Chaosmark

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2012, 10:45:07 AM »
My friend and I go through this idea every so often. We always called it, "Worst. Superpower. Ever."

1) The ability to fill a room with confetti.
2) The ability to un-salt food.
3) The ability to make any pillow explode in a burst of stuffing.
4) The ability to fart rainbows.
P(A|B) = P(B|A)*P(A)/P(B)

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Offline Pariah

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2012, 05:26:58 PM »
Some of these could actually have some use, and I'd totally date a girl with "Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing"
They were immediately and absolutely recognizable as adventurers... They were hardy and dangerous, lawless, stripped of allegiance or morality, living off their wits, stealing and killing, hiring themselves out to whoever and whatever came. They were inspired by dubious virtues.  China Mieville - Perdido Street Station

Offline Dossta

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Re: 101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2012, 11:35:48 PM »
Oh, most of these could probably be useful under the right circumstances.  The key is that they should ideally be too specific or too embarrassing to be a fall-back 100% of the time.  Trivial probably is a better word.

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STR: 4 | END: 4 | CON: 3 | DEX: 6 | CHA: 3 | INT: 5
"The omniscient have no need for beliefs and no room for delusion."