Idea Guild > Sagely Advice

101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers!

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Dossta:
This is a fun idea I was kicking around with a friend.  I wanted to make it a full 101 before releasing it to the main site, but ran dry at 80.  Please help me finish!

As a superhero or mutant, you have gained the power to:

* Run twice as fast when naked
* Make any candle burn with the power of two lumens
* Know the full ancestry and family history of a person you don't know
* Know whether a plane will crash after it has taken off
* Change your ears to any shape imaginable
* Teleport – but only to work
* Time travel – but only to next Monday.
* Accurately predict the score of any amateur mini-golf match
* Predict the last three finishers of any horse race
* Make anything taste like garlic
* Gain control over one atom at a time
* Change the message in anyone's fortune cookie
* Change wine to water
* Change silver to lead and gold to tungsten
* Become completely nonbouyant
* Increase or decrease the temperature of a room by 5 degrees
* Make one other person believe that they have super powers
* Instantly identify the source of any smell
* Sweat Gatorade
* Instantly gain as much weight as you like (you still have to work it off)
* Make yourself invisible to one person at a time
* Talk to pigeons
* Hear what dogs are saying, but be unable to speak back
* Turn any carpet to shag
* Grow a tail (it has to be cut off)
* Get a song stuck in someone else's head
* Make anyone say an inappropriate word by pointing at them
* Locking eyes with someone for a few seconds will cause them to urinate uncontrollably
* Change anyone's keyboard layout to DVORAK
* Make anyone .5 inches taller or shorter, but only when concentrating on that person
* Give anyone an ice-cream headache
* Excrete a pheromone that makes you utterly repulsive to members of the opposite gender
* Speak puns in any language
* Always know the location of the nearest public restroom
* Emit a weak radioactive field
* Bend all your joints backwards
* Observe someone else's dreams
* Use your saliva as a weak glue
* Rearrange your facial features
* Re-size any clothing to fit you perfectly
* Make anything smell like wet dog
* Slightly increase the effect of gravity around you
* Make yourself test positive for any drug
* Perfectly imitate the sounds from a modem, car alarm and microwave
* Know your enemy's biggest personality flaw
* Make any stain permanent
* Infuse water with the scent of  pineapple
* The ability to predict the results of any game played on a Tuesday
* Attract lighting strikes
* Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing
* Forget the past hour of your life at will
* Always land on your feet
* Instantly turn milk to yogurt
* Make your own hands super slippery
* Know the middle name of anyone you encounter
* Decrease the denomination of any bill by touching it
* Run as quickly backwards as you can forwards
* Make any liquid instantly become room temperature
* Make a sound that will attract every cat within a half mile radius
* Force all your body hair – including that on your head – to fall off at once
* Drink salt water safely
* Always remember if you're forgetting something
* Always know where true North is
* Predict to the minute the next rainfall
* Always look like the wind is blowing through your hair, even indoors
* Change the color of your urine
* Transform into a minnow
* Know if someone is watching you
* Remember anything you read, but only for a day
* Sprout daisies under your feet as you walk
* Piss weak beer
* Teleport one inch in any direction
* Flap your arms so fast you can hover for up to five seconds
* Set your own hair on fire
* Shed your skin like a snake
* Slow time down, but only for yourself
* Jump twice as high as a normal person
* Grow feathers in place of hair
* Predict any coin flip, as long as you've touched the coin first
* Create a two square foot spot of shade

Strolen:

* Redirect the glare of the sun with your hand like a mirror
* Make a clock run backwards (not time, just the clock)
* Psychic for only immediate wants (not for anything important, best used in a McD's and you will know the order a moment before they actually order it. Only works on insignificant wants that will be almost immediately verbalized)
* Create a Marilyn Monroe upskirt wind at will. (with effort can cause cape flapping breeze for effect)
* Extend belly to beyond largest pregnant size
* Hear baby monitor chatter when close enough
* Pour a cup of water from finger daily
* Cause someones vision to pinpoint/fog momentarily 

Ted:
1: Twitter Roleplay Skills
2: Always mistaken as a prostitute
3: Always get blamed for Farting
4: Women you are sexually attracted to only find you cute in a sexual manner.
5: Can make others taste that Benadryl aftertaste
6: Your touch makes soda go flat
7: Your strolen comment upvotes are worth 1 extra XP
8: You pee lava
9: You automatically know if a male is circumcised is not
10: Your dandruff is cocaine
11: You can immediately kill someone's arousal
12: Immediately tell if water is hard or not
13: Know what color underwear any person was wearing- yesterday
14: Your poop teleports to random locations
15: All salad your prepare tastes burnt
16: Can regrow snail shells by touch
17: Can post cute cat photos on facebook purely by thinking about it
18: Police Radar Guns list you as going 20 MPH faster than you really are
19: Your inner Chi is shaped like a penis
20: You have prehensile hair
21: Pigeon control
22: Any gun you fire has a localized bullet-time affecting only bullets you shoot
23: You fail upwards

Chaosmark:
My friend and I go through this idea every so often. We always called it, "Worst. Superpower. Ever."

1) The ability to fill a room with confetti.
2) The ability to un-salt food.
3) The ability to make any pillow explode in a burst of stuffing.
4) The ability to fart rainbows.

Pariah:
Some of these could actually have some use, and I'd totally date a girl with "Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing"

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