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101 Dwarven Proverbs, Sayings, Quotes, and Euphemisms


Looking for Dwarven Proverbs, Sayings, Euphemisms, Quotes, and Anecdotes. Please help the fledgling Dwarven Guild in its infancy stages! Looking to make a list of 101, at which point it will be released on the Main Page, as a "Strolenati"-authored, Dwarven masterpiece, to be shared and enjoyed by all. It will also get a Dwarven Guild freetext. I urge you, please help.

1.   Nothing evens a race like an axe to the kneecaps

2.   The air must be thin up there, elf (for ye are daft to come up with that plan!)

3.   We can’t bring a troll to the fire, but we can bring the fire to the troll

4.   Never turn down an ale, who knows if it may be your last

5.   We do not fornicate wildly like the humans and hares. Thus, our children are born ever so rarely. But when a dwarf *is* born, the very mountains shudder and the skies spit
lightning! (Excerpt taken from the Ironbook, which speaks of what it means to be a dwarf. All dwarves can recite the passages verbatim from an early age.)

6.   Ten seconds more…(and I will smash ye into nothingness!) A popular quote attributed to a legendary dwarven warrior. Now used euphemistically, “ten seconds more” implying, I’m losing my patience, and you are about to feel my wrath. Good tip to back off, if you ever hear a dwarf say that to you in the tavern one night.

7.   A pebble will stay dry inside, no matter how long it is submerged in a pool of water. (persevere)

8.   Her beard is winking at me

9.   Leave iron to rest before you hammer it

10.   The smallest pebble was once the biggest stone, the biggest stone was once bigger.

11.   Guard your life, guard your gold, guard your beard. In that order. (a popular saying among clan-less, traveling dwarves)

12.   You are softer than sandstone and drier than talc (an obviously disparaging remark)

13.   Wherever there are elves, there are lies

14.   “A hundred able dwarves…” As in, give me a hundred able dwarves and I could conquer the empire, or, give me a hundred able dwarves and I would build a city upon this mound in a fortnight! And so on. Used to denote the solid reliability and can-do attitude of each and every dwarf.

15.   Cave-toads speak little, but when they do, listen.

16.   Never answer a question when you’re dreaming (implying superstitious fear of witchcraft)

17.   “We still hone the axe" (the full expression being, “We still hone the axe which slew your kin. Tis’ still sharp and ever-ready”) A warning the dwarves will use—we still hone the axe—to denote a second or third attack on goblins or orcs who didn’t learn their lessons the first time the dwarves attacked.

18.   Schist! (a poor, flaky mineral—the equivalent of saying S**t!)

19.   The Humans have a saying. The nail that sticks out gets hammered. We have a saying too. Shoddy work! Not a single nail should be sticking out.

20.   I swear by my forge (obviously a serious oath)

21.   You can kill a dwarf, but you can never vanquish one

22.   Nothing a hammer can’t solve

23.   It is easy to fool a goblin, but even easier to kill one. (Don’t bother with complex solutions, when simple ones will do)

24.   The best place to hide something precious is in your beard. (Because no one will think to look in the obvious place)

25.   Evil breeds in the guts of the lazy

26.   Rest your shields, lean on stones, listen and always remember, long are the arms and legs of men, yet still longer, the Dwarven members! (a battlefield limerick meant to relieve stressed-out dwarves, usually exclaimed by leaders and commanders whenever the outlook is otherwise grim)

27.   Touching is believing (as opposed to seeing)

28.   The stones will sing if you let them (do be quiet)

29.   Marriage is like an anvil. It is always there. It is solid. It is quiet. Like a husband. (Dwarven matrons have been overheard telling their daughters)

30.   Drinking contests with humans are unbearable. They drink, they collapse, and we have to drag them back to their homes. The next day they never remember losing.

31.   The first prisoners always killed are the cowards. Only then, the traitors. (being cowardly is very, very bad)

32.   The hungriest troll will eat (implying that the more desperate and motivated enemies can sometimes prevail)

33.   A spear is not a dwarven weapon, but it will kill all the same (in times of need, improvise)

34.   Dwarven women are like axes. As dangerous from the back as from the front

35.   Pride and Anger are good for the soul

36. Dwarven women are like a good hammer. Always ready for work, and just as able to smash a head as hammer a sword.

37. Only a fool tries to poison a dwarf. Our womans cooking could kill an Ogre, your poison is dressing to us.

38. You can't milk a stone for water, but you can crush a goblins head with one fist. (A saying that never try to do the impossible.)

39. A mead in the hand, is worth two goblin heads in a bush. (Meaning a strong drink is as good as dead goblins any day.)


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