1)While storming the keep of an evil Ballistmancer the deceased and his companions became trapped in the courtyard. The Ballistmancer appeared on a nearby balcony and he brandished a magical porcelain doll, the sight of which turned the deceased and all his companions to stone. Years later an earthquake shifted a nearby river so that it flooded the valley of the Ballistmancer’s keep. There the deceased and his companions stood as statues for a thousand years at the bottom of that river which later became a lake. Then the chalice was found and destroyed by the The Blessed Anti-Magic and Pro-Abstinence coalition (BAMPAC), lifting the curse and restoring the deceased and his companions to their former selves. They promptly drowned.
2)A cloistered priest of the Goddess of Smug and Pious Restraint made a clandestine pilgrimage to the Alter of Poor Planning and Excesses (APPE) in order to attend the Fertility festival. There he was served a piece of cake, which had small white stone phalluses baked into it. Those that received a piece with the phallus in it were supposed to have excess wealth and fortune in the following year (or maybe the year after). Unfamiliar with APPE rituals the priest ate the cake and unknowingly swallowed the token. The next day after he snuck back into his monastery, he used the chamber pot in the hall of Uncomfortable but Noble Openness. As he was carrying his chamber pot to a distant window he crossed paths with the head of his order. When the deceased bowed his head to his superior he noticed a small white phallus in his chamber pot with the symbol for Poor Planning and Excess on it. In a panic the deceased grabbed the phallus, and having nowhere to hide it, swallowed it. He died of dysentery and sepsis a short time later.
3)The deceased was a young squire attached to the keep of his Lord’s cattle estate. At festival of Chivalry and Proper Gender Role, the Lord presented his newly of age niece to his guests and subjects. After indulging in some wine at the festival the deceased and the other young squires decide to go cow tipping. The Lord’s niece overheard their plan and declared it unchivarlous to lay hands on female animal. She declared that “If the squires want to hunt they should hunt stags and if they want to tip over cattle, they should limit themselves to bulls.” The young squire was gored to death shortly afterwards.
4)The deceased was attending a funeral when the Dark Mage Azerfall and his Legions of Terror attacked the town. He and the other attendees hid in a nearby crypt. There they hid for three days until a force of the Right and Just paladins attacked Azerfall camps. Azerfall’s troops were surprised and took a defensive position in the cemetery. Azerfall’s necromancer replenished his forces by animating the bodies of those buried around them, including those in the Crypt where the deceased was hiding. The deceased and companions fought for their lives with tooth and fist in near pitch darkness but managed to over come the zombies. When the deceased heard the Paladins’ victorious huzzah he pushed the crypt door open and stumbled out into the daylight. He was promptly slain by a holy crossbow bolt.
5) The deceased was, by her own accounting, the greatest assassin in the City of Twaderdale. Though she may qualify this by saying the greatest assassin in the City Twaderdale from the last decade of the Virgin King’s reign and up until the first year of the Regent’s Privy Laws. She says she could have been the greatest assassin of all time if she had not also been such a loving mother. On the deceased’s last birthday she received a garrote that her youngest child had made all by herself. So touched by the gift the deceased promised to use it that very night. Being a woman of her word, when the deceased climbed in the tower window of her evening target she had the child’s garrote firmly in her teeth. She snuck up behind the target wrapped the hand decorated cord around the man’s neck. The man pulled away and she pulled back with all her strength. The garrote broke and she went stumbling backwards. She fell out of the window and to her death.