Whatever. Anyway....
A penguin, standing four feet tall and wearing a ridiculous pirate costume, including a pirate captain's hat with an enourmous feather plume, a stocking cap beneath that, and goggles with rose colored lenses. A wooden sword, apparently a toy, is thrust through his belt.
"D'arr! I be Cap'n Penguin, Master of the Famous, World-Renowned, Unfortunately Permanent Brigade! I'm sure yeh've heard 'o' me! Are you buyin'? 'Cuz I'll drink with yeh'!"