Extraneous Voices of Picayune > Cavern of Inane Natter

10 Things I would like to see in Pokemon

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Scrasamax:
I admit it, I play pokemon. As of this moment, I have 162 hours game time on Pokemon Diamond and I plan on getting Platinum when it comes out this spring. This being said, there are some things that I would really like to see in Pokemon that I never will. some of these pertain to the television series, which I occasionally watch (less so now that I can name the little bastards)

1. A predatory pokemon eating another pokemon.

You're going to tell me that the land shark/dragon pokemon Garchomp is going to be content to eat poke-chow? I'm sure he likes his food to run... and scream.

2. PETA show up

The follow up is for them to be attacked by the same pokemon they are trying to liberate. 'We should rescue these poor defenseless creatures forced to battle for our entertainment!" pokemon dragon breaths fire on them.

3. Jesse and James from Team Rocket use thompson submachine guns on Ash and crew.

Jesse is one of those cartoon characters who registers as being way hotter than any cartoon character should be (d**n you Jessica Rabbit). The show is repititious to the point of idiocy. The schemes are retarded and always fail. I would like to see Jesse and James gun down the obnoxious main characters with machine guns (because mobsters kinda fits in my opinion) and then just loot their bodies of their pokemon.

4. Brock arrested for sexual harassment

Originally a gym leader with a soft spot for pretty girls, Brock has been Flanderized into a mush-brained skirt chaser who has the charisma of a semi-warm dog poop. I would like to see him arrested for stalking and sexual harassment. It just a dead horse running gag.

5. Extreme Bassmasters

Fishing is a dangerous pastime in Pokemon, you can hook and land water dragons. That would certainly take fishing out of thehands of drunks and rednecks and make it into a borderline extreme sport. Bob here just landed a Gyarados sea dragon on bassmasters 100 pound monofilament. He's going to have to work that line hard so when he reels that big boy in it will be tired enough he can wrestle it down and beat it over the head with his oar. All this after this commercial break.

6. Criminally Minded Pokemon

Pardon me, POOF I happen to have a fire breathing metal dragon, would kindly fill this bag with all the money you have in the bank vault there? You're too kind.

7. When Pokemon go Bad

On occasion Pikachu electrocuted Ash, in typical cartoon fashion he was left singed and quipped a one liner. I would like to see more realism. Mistreat that fire breathing metal dragon? say goodbye to your legs the next time you let him out.

8. Pokemon Rights

Some pokemon (Meowth, Lucario) demonstrate human or even superhuman intelligence. Shut up and get back in your ball gladiator slave. What happens when the pokemon in question just happens to get his hands on a super pokeball that can catch you and you his poke-human.

9. A Fire-Dragon

There are no pokemon that have the Fire type and the Dragon type. Seriously. Not one.

10. Pokemon Biological functions

A. poke-poop
B. poke-gas (metal pokemon farts like a brass horn LOL)
C. Please make your pokemon stop trying to hump mine, he doesnt like that

EchoMirage:
Okay, Scras, you made my day :D
Actually, in an RP I am currently running, summoners must earn the services of their summons first - so no Summon Monster VII for ye unless you actually >have< a level VII stowed away in a pokeball charm on your belt.

MoonHunter:
See, this is the same kind of issue you can have with Power Rangers. 

1) My 7 year old summed it up best,  "Dude, change already."  I mean, okay fighting without your powers.. very dramatic.. but not when the Fate OF The CITY is on the line.  They get lucky that the GM is nice to them and that they don't get KO'd in that first set of exchanges.

2) Why aren't more buildings flattened?  Not every street is any city I have ever visited, is wide enough for a proportionally 10-15 story humanoid.  Certainly not the side streets. 

3) Why the same city?  If I was a villian, I would launch some of the mosters in another city, buying me some time while the heroes travel there or burn their energy teleporting.  Heck, most heroes could not find your plot until they stumble over it (or their command team bothers to check their scanners).  Send the plot somewhere else, stop trying to take over the worldy by takinon  Angel Grove first and establish a beach head in Omaha 

4) You know their Secret IDs. You know when they are sleeping.  You say you are Evil.  Bombs?  Jumping them when they are asleep and can"t quite get to their morphers in time?   Or you can be more subtle.   Food Poisoning in their parent's kitchen, heck just something toxic in their tooth paste. 

5) Thre are only five of them, (most of the season), how hard would it be to unleash six monsters or lts out there at once.  One could "win" for a time.  Eentually thy will get smart and bring the team togteher aginst on of the threats a a time, but how much damage can you do to the world while they take them down one by one?

6) Never make the monster's big. The megazord is much more powerful than the clowns are in their spandex mode.  Either start with the bigger monster or never make them huge. 

7) Stop making giant monsters, create monsters that look like people , good looking people, in suits.  Unleash them in the city, but make sure their powers are never visible.  Make sure the monsters are aroudn people and crowds. Watch the power ranger's lose the PR battle as they take out "the helpless civilian". 

8) They are teenagers, how hard are they to distract?  If they show up late to the battle, that is one edge you have.  Make sure the attack is on prom night.  Arange for them to have hot dates.  Arrange for them to be on the football team or somewhere with commitments.  They have to be there for this audition or they will eve get the record deal.  Maket this happen.

9) Nuke the Command Center.  You might not take it out, but you will put a cramp in their style.

10) Parents, blackmail, do the math dude. 

EchoMirage:
There is also this thing

http://www.st-minutiae.com/humor/overlord.html

100 things I'd do differently were I an evil overlord.

Pieh:
I am also a Pokemon addict and have been thinking about doing a Pokemon RP set in a Post-Apocalyptic Kanto and Johto (The worlds of Red/Blue and Gold/Silver). I want to take the Pokethulhu rules and change them a bit to take into account the elemental aspects of Pokemon and elaborate of Trainer vs. Trainer conflict.

Inspiration:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1941496

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