The Tormented Souls of IT

[Ancient Gamer]

Come, enter my office. Now lay down on the couch.

Tell me, what troubles you? Why are you here?

Lay it all on me.

When you are a tech kind of guy, people will ask you to do lots of things. Well, I know that goes for other professions too. I've been listening as socially deprived elderly ladies discover that the young man next to them is a doctor, and they feel he juuust haaas to check out their weird health problem. In order to keep my dinner down, I moved across the room.

Still, I reckon we IT dudes get the brunt of these questions.

Can you fix my computer?
(Yes... ERRR, no! But I am really a software developer, DAMMIT)

Can you make a powerpoint presentation for me? Just a small one?
(Got this one the other day. I ended up scanning 50 photos, inserting them into powerpoint AND writing the text. Hooray for me! I thought that people could use a scanner and powerpoint in this day and age...)

Can your husband make a web site for us?
(Of course he can, after all he has some spare time when I am out with my friends friday evening 0_o. A dynamic page can't take THAT long, can it? Reply: Ooooh, suuuuureee. I'll do it between supper and bedtime. I just have to make a design, code and design the database, test, deploy and then probably make sure everything works the next five years. Suuuure I'll do it!)

But the worst one I ever got was from a friend of mine. An immigrant from Kosovo. We used to have long political discussions, which I cherished, but one day he came to me with a request: "Can you fix my IP phone connection?" (He had the oddest setup I've ever seen)

So, I said yes. He was my friend after all. The hours were long, the payment symbolical. Then, when his Albanian friends discovered I charged next to nothing, well... Let me just say that I had the entire Albanian community on my door for the next weeks. In the end I got tired of slamming the door in their faces.

So, fellow IT friends, this one goes out to you: Whenever someone wants "a small IT favour" from you. SAY NO! If they insist... MAKE THEM BLEED CASH!

As for the kindergarten site... Well, I am taking my sweet time. Bridezilla pays for her errant ways.

"Ed, can you please photoshop and send the invitations to our wedding guests?"

"No dear! I am busy working on the kindergarten site YOU said I had to create"

"But dear, you did that yesterday and the day before that too!"

"Yes dear. Odd as it may sound, web sites don't create themselves. Especially dynamic ones. Someone has to do it, and the leprechaun living under our stairs (not Harry) was unavailable. Go figure!"

"Sob!"

[Chaosmark]

Amusingly, very few people ask me for IT help, even though they all know I'm really good with computers. The only exception was when a friend of mine asked me to help him replace his graphics card: I said yes, and he gave me free sodas for a month. I think I got the better end oif the deal.

[manfred]

I hear you brother!

"Say, my computer is acting funny. Could you reinstall my Windows?"

"Game not work."

"There is something with those drivers..."

---

And finally, a sentence which my cousins rarely dare to use, after I ask for a more detailed account of the troubles, symptoms, and any accompanying error messages:

"I don't know, it just doesn't work." 

[Ria Hawk]

Me, I don't get asked about IT/support all that much, but my dad does.  (My aunt is... well, let's just say she doesn't get along with technology.)  And I had a friend who actually worked in IT and ranted about people doing that to her.  Have you ever had a problem with someone "trying to fix" the problem on their own before they ask you to do it?  From what I hear, that doesn't end well.  (This is why I know enough about computers to know what I shouldn't mess with.)

[Strolen]

I am happy to fix any software problem. My fix is to have them backup their data and I will be happy to reformat and reinstall. I don't mess with any of that troubleshooting crap.

I think I have a virus -> reinstall
I can't get my printer to work -> reinstall
My network keeps dropping or I can't connect to the internet anymore -> reinstall
How do I get a background on my desktop -> reinstall

[dark_dragon]

hehe... I completely agree with you Strolen. I don't defrag! I reinstall! an install a month keeps viruses at bay!

I get asked for hardware stuff too. Say, Mum drops computer on the floor, cracks motherboard. Pieces rattle like a child's toys inside the cracked plastic casing: "can you fix it?"

Or friend does same, I help to recover the data from the hd. (I'm getting far too familiar with the insides of a laptop. I have been carrying a set of suitable screwdrivers on my person for over a week now...)

I also recently implemented a wonderful policy with my brother: "If you have p2p stuff on your PC. I refuse to help you beyond wiping the drive and reinstalling." never heard a peep since.

What is far more painful than providing support though is "Can you install windows?" (which I Happily do) when they actually meant "can you install office?" Oooops!

[Ancient Gamer]

MAKE THEM BLEED CASH!

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED CASH!

[Strolen]

Mine is, "If you have P2P stuff I want a copy."

[Pariah]

I'm more a combination of the two...  "If you have p2p stuff you are paying me in music/games, and if you have horrible taste in the two of them I'm not touching your box..."