I need a quick split!

[corie]

Hi Guys!
May I introduce myself,my name is Corie. I'd love to have a nicer topic to write about today, but I'm stressed to bits!I promise in future it won't be so dull, here's my problem:
I recently realised that we have nothing in common.We've been together for 3 years,and we clash like pasta and mint sauce!She's more the kind of girl who wants to go out ALL THE TIME!!! and I'm the kind of guy who just wants to sit in,watch a video and have a bit of a cuddle every now and again.I'm not a tea bag,but I think a bit of time for the 2 of us alone isnt that much to ask.
I've gotten to a point where I stay at home and play poker online,just while I wait for her to come home.And when she gets home she's usually too drunk to even get her key in the door let alone talk to me.What should I do?I love her but can't go on like this.Please help!

SPAMMY McSPAMMERSON!

[Strolen]

I think you have nothing in common with this site either and this post will soon be deleted.

We don't deal with personal problems, we deal with ROLEPLAYING!

[Pariah]

I might suggest that you take up listening to a combination of Blues, Country, and Rock 'n' Roll; sticking primarily to the sad songs about breakups, cheating girls, and girls that go out and get drunk only to come home to their lover's later wanting something.  Of course, what Strolen said still stands, and this thread is extremely likely to get deleted, but I just wanted to give my 2 cents.   

[CaptainPenguin]

I think the best course of action in this case is to begin by going through your house and drinking every liquid that you come across. I'd start with the ones under the sink. Go ahead and just down the whole bottle, all the way. That should really get you started on dealing with your party-crazy lady.

[Scrasamax]

I think you are a tea bag. Tell your girl to come to my house, I'll take care of her.

Oh, and for the record.  Yo.

[Murometz]

tea bag? 

that means something completely different where I come from 

[ScorpionJinx]

When did the site become a Dear Abbey?

We are so not the folks to be dealing out relationship advice.
My only suggestion is get some dice and roll for your actions.

1 = Stay in the relationship and suffer.
2 - 4 = Try to work it out.
5 = Get counseling and break up anyway
6 = Get out now, dont look back, run for it. Be free!

[Wulfhere]

If you want relationship input, you have come to the right place! 

A quick Charm Person incantation should put her right as rain, willing to treat you as the delightful friend you long to be.  Of course, some people object to the mental fuzziness associated with such magics, but most men never notice the difference.

If available, a Philtre of Love is a good option, guaranteed to leave any tavern-hopping wench in a state of passionate infatuation.  That'll keep her home!

If you have the money, you may wish to invest in a Circlet of Persuasion.  This enchanted item will make you into a silver-tongued Lothario that will soon have ALL the women eating out of your hand.  Then you can tell her to go pack sand.

[queeny]

Well,well,well.That is a problem.But nothing you can't solve!
Have you spoken to her bout her absurd behavior?If you have and she's done nothing to change her habbits,dump her.You're wasting yours and her time.I know it's harder than it sounds,but it really is for the best,trust me.Because you know yourself how it's going to end if you don't put a stop to it.You'll be miserable and for what?For the sake of not wanting to have that ''just broken up feeling''?It'll come sooner or later so just get it over with.Online poker eh? (hitting a lighter note) I play poker with my mates every now and again,but have been to chicken to try playing online.have you ever visited pokerstrategy? it's really good for tips on technique!
Can you recommend any good poker sites?I'm trying to get better all the time because I'm headed for Las Vegas next year.Let us know what you did about your girl,I'm sure you'll make the right descision!

Son of SPAM!!!

[Scrasamax]

Judging by the way that neither Corie or Queeny use spaces around their periods, I would be willing to bet that old Cor' and the Queen are the same user. Judging from the fact that Queen picks up on Corie's plight so easily and then segways into spam just makes it all the more obvious.

Consider this a warning both of you, Corie and Queeny. We don't tolerate spam shennanigans in our citadel. Do if again, you will both be obliterated.

Mathom Bless you both.


~Scras

[valadaar]

It is spam- both entries have been repeated on at least one other forum.

Just google "Online poker eh? (hitting a lighter note) I play poker with my mates every now and again,but have been to chicken to try playing online.have you"

and

We've been together for 3 years,and we clash like pasta and mint sauce!

Nuff said. 

[Murometz]

actually, if you substitute fresh mint for basil while making a pesto, its quite a tasty alternative!

[Lanfear57]

<3 @ wulfhere
<3 @ captainpenguin

nice, guys

[ScorpionJinx]

Mint goes nicely with lamb. Use it in the marinade, then after you grill the lamb, serve it on a nice bed of pasta.

Evil spammers begone! Take your woes and go!