A Report on Glactic Species, by Sandthoch Waterbreathing

[CaptainPenguin]

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Dear Reader,

I have prepared this dossier in advance for your viewing pleasure. The Galaxy can be a strange place, full of strange people, and any traveller who intends to go roving among the solar systems must know them. I hope that you find this document to be useful on your travels. Of course, if you are a Doghead and you are reading this, I applaud you for learning to read. One last word, readers, for your safety: Never, ever touch a Grammadai's pseudopods when they are eating. It's hazardous.

With great hopes,

Sandthoch Waterbreathing

[CaptainPenguin]

Dogheads:
Homo Sapiens Canidae
Planet of Origin: Unknown; Possibly first engineered on planet Windus of the Burcemia system.

Genetically engineered as the perfect soldiers and slave workers by the Masters. Originally normal Humans genospliced with Canine and Gorilla DNA, the Dogheads are stronger, faster, and larger than a Human, though lower in sapience. Unlike other genetically altereds, such as Birdheads, the Dogheads were made fertile so that the Masters did not have to invest huge amounts of their military budgets in order to genosplice Dogheads for their armies. Thus, Dogheads make up an overwhelming proportion of the Galaxy's inhabitants. Most of the Galaxy's Realms are ruled by Dogheads, though a Doghead ruler's Birdhead advisors are usually quite a bit smarter than the actual ruler. Dogheads average about 7 feet tall and 400 pounds, usually in muscle. They have canine heads, sometimes wolf-like, and their heavily muscular bodies are covered in fur. The customs and languages of Dogheads usually vary by planet. Their temperament also varies, but they are usually surly and pack-oriented. Around 15% of Dogheads are born with wolf-like featuers instead of dog-like features.

[CaptainPenguin]

Birdheads:
Homo Sapiens Avidae
Planet of Origin: Unknown; Possibly first engineered on planet Durandal IX of the Durandal system.

Genospliced with avian DNA, the Birdheads were made as scientists, spies, assassins, and house-slaves. Because of the hollow bones of their avian heritage, the Birdheads are no good for physical combat and are inept at handling any firearm. However, the Masters decided that there needed to be a complement to the Doghead's brute force and dull intellect and thus engineered the Birdheads with a high sapience and quick mind. Nearly all Birdheads have a photographic memory. As there was no need for a huge population of Birdheads, so they were genospliced sterile. Though the near-Human level technology of most Realms of the Galaxy has defeated this, their numbers suffer because of low birth rate and high infant death rate. Birdheads are usually the scientists of most Realms and many Realms have a Birdhead as the true power behind the throne. Birdheads average about 5 feet tall and around 85 pounds (They are light because of their avian bone-structure). They have feathery bodies with the remnants of wing pinions on their arms and bird-like heads. Like Dogheads, their customs and languages vary from planet to planet. Their temperaments also vary, but they are usually curious and very emotional.

[CaptainPenguin]

Chaukats:
Homo Sapiens Centaurofelis
Planet of Origin: First engineered on Chaukona of the Cherenovsky system.

These are perhaps the strangest of the Masters creations, made as companions, sex-slaves, and near-equals to the Humans. These Feline centaurs were even granted their own planet, Chaukona, and thus, they were the only ones who did not fall into barbarics after the extinction of Mankind. The Chaukats are very sexually open due to the way in which the Humans wired their brains, as well as being very spiritual people. They are also hermaphroditic. Chaukats have had a very large influence on the re-developement of the Dogheads and Birdheads. They tend to be about 5 feet tall, with lion-like, lower bodies and human-like torsoes with feline heads. Their bodies are covered in fur. Taboos about clothing, sex, and nudity seem to be absent from Chaukat (Chaukonan) culture. Most Chaukats are exhibitionists, always seeking attention. They are very cheerful and wild. Chaukats are also prone to mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder. Some Chaukonan customs include:

-The Night of Masks: A celebration that falls on a random day each year in which everyone dons a mask and chaos rules as all but the most essential of laws are dispensed with. Essentially, a big, mad, Mardi Gras with live orgies.
-The Wardance: This four-night celebration of all the Chaukonan military conquests is a large party followed by a fifth night of meditation.

[CaptainPenguin]

Pershala:
Xenofelis pershalensis
Planet of Origin: Pashaltara Prime of the Pashaltara system.

One word describes the Pershala state of mind: Speed. The Pershala are obsessed with speed, so obsessed, in fact, that they have perfected the art and technology of making insanely dangerous jumps through Liquid Space, as they found gating to be too slow. The Pershala are a mercurial people, quick to anger and melancholy, and just as fast switching to joyful and celebratory. They average about 5' 8", with humanoid bodies. Their musculatures are very taut and thin, much like that of a dancer, with long tails that hang about to their ankles. They have faces that are a leonine-human mixture, and they are covered in "peach-fuzz" hair that is usually the same shade as their skin, as well as hair on their heads much like that of a human. As their metabolisms are different from that of Humans and Human-mades, alcohol is a stimulant instead of a depressant. A random gene that manifests in about 5% of the Pershalan population causes the Pershala to grow tiger-like markings and coloration. Most Pershalan customs are based on the concept of speed, quickness, and movement.
Some examples:
-The Festival of Lightning: A Pershala holiday that celebrates the quickness of the lightning
-The Birth Ceremony: At birth, the kitten's tail is measured, and, as Pershala can usually walk a few minutes after birth, it is observed how fast the kitten can move, at which point they are bestowed a name based on tail-length and speed of walking.
-The Wind Dance: A common occurence at Pershala parties, the Wind Dance is a whirling, leaping performance that is usually done in the nude.
-The Hunting Song: A song sung after the Wind Dance that commemerates the great heroes of Pershala mythology, and how quick they were on their feet.

Pershalan Naming Conventions: Pershalas have surprisingly long names for such a fast race. Their names are usually accented with many "K" noises and "ah" noises.
Male: Jadak, Javak, Kharisajak, Kharilak, Lharahkalhalha, Yholkhraihk, Uhlkaitar
Female: Mhorighana, Khassilakha, Khalasa, Mhokha, Chovaskha, Hullekhaia, Ghojissa, Asal, Suujekhirin

[CaptainPenguin]

Grakoi:
Xenogromphadorhina grakoi
Planet of Origin: Xsehissek of the Kssetskix system.

The Grakoi are products of a phenomenon that occurs very often in the galaxy, known as Universe Parallelism. This theory states that because the universe is so vast, most living things have some sort of analouge on another world in the universe. The Grakoi are much like cockroaches or beetles grown extremely large (In relation to Earth cockroaches.). Though they prefer crawling, when standing, the Grakoi are a maximum of 5 feet tall, and can weigh up to 800 pounds do to their heavy exoskeletons. They do not possess full exoskeletons, as this would render them immobile. The Grakoi appears much like a massive, metallicly colored, iridescent cockroach with four pairs of antennae, primitive hands on the first two pairs of arms, and elongated, flattened leg sections that function as primitive feet when standing. Their bipedal movement is awkward and heavy due to their primitive "feet", and when standing, they are constantly stooped over due to the weight of their exoskeletons. Grakoi have grown beyond the book-page lung systems of Terrestrial insects. As Grakoi cannot produce sounds in the humanoid fashion, they require translation technology to speak to other races. Their language is a combination of hisses, squeeks, rattles, and taps. The Grakoi are matriarchal, with the males being communal parents for the young in Grakoi nests. Some Grakoi customs are:
-The Hatching Ceremony: When a Grakoi egg-sac bursts, the communal fathers gather the young on their backs and carry them to the nearest food source while repeating to the young over and over the name of the nest in which they were born.
-Mksssaz-psssh: A celebration of the birth of Chssskis, the great Grakoi heroine who led the Grakoi into space.
-Gssassk: The custom of devouring the dead at a feast after their funeral, which is called the Gssasstsh.

Grakoi Naming Conventions: Grakoi names always have a hissing, clicking sound to them. There is no differentiation between male and female names.

[CaptainPenguin]

Varconians:
Xenohomo Feralis Verconii
Home Planet: Varcon (Zeus Minor) of the Varcon system.

An extremely xenophobic, warlike, expansionist race, the Varconians are often known as "those horned bastards from Varcon", or, among themselves, the "Varconidaah". During the Human Age, they were a bother to colonists of Varcon (Which the humans called Zeus Minor), despite the fact that they were a pre-Gate, Bronze age society. In the modern age, the Varconians have become quite a bit more advanced. They have a massive empire spanning at least 3000 solar systems ruled from the capitol system of Varcon, with the Imperial Seat being the Planet Varcon. The current emperor is His Sublime Majesty, Blessed of the Blood Sun and the Green God, Master of the Great Varconian Empire, the Radiant Emperor Thrug-Gakah-Gruz XXI. Physically, the Varconians are extremely imposing. Most stand about seven feet tall and are heavily muscular, much like a Doghead. The great, ape-like heads of male Varconians are crowned with curling horns like those of a ram. Females have a more modest pair of horns. Their skin is leathery and black-blue, like a bruise, and their facial features resemble those of noseless gorillas with elongated snouts. They have no body hair. There is very little difference between the male and female Varconian, except for the horns and sexual organs. Varconians' hands have three fingers and a thumb, each with wicked claws. Their feet have only two toes ending in thick, blunt, hoof-like nails. They tend to look slightly top-heavy. Varconians' eyes have slitted, horizontal pupils. Varconians communicate in, predictably, Varconian, a collection of howls, growls, grunts, roars, and primitive words that have not evolved since the Human Era. Though most of the Galaxy regards them as stupid brutes, Varconians can be cunning and even smart. How else do you think they got an interstellar empire? The Varconians worship two gods, the Bloody Sun, Gorkmorg, represented by a red sun with a snarling face on it, and the Green God, a mysterious deity. The worship of the Green God seems not to be a native religion. How they came to receive it is not known. Also, strangely, other races throughout the galaxy seem to worship the same deity or a deity very similar to the Green God. Around 20% of Varconians are born with webbings that extend from their armpits down to their hips that allow them to glide.
Some Varconian Customs:
-The Emperor's Birthday: Always a holiday, on which the Varconians make blood sacrafice and pray to the diefied Emperor and Gorkmorg.
-The Eating of Hearts: A celebration of the Bloody Sun, the eating of hearts features blood sacrafice and, obviously, the eating of hearts raw.
-The Day of Heroes: A celebration of the various heroes of Varconian mythology.
-The Day of the Sun: Another celebration of Gorkmorg.

Varconian Naming Conventions: Try ork-like sounding names.
Female: Thruglish, Kagrusha, Gordika, Krugg-Tuggish, Thugar-Tagasha
Male: Gromash, Orgrim-Krag, Orgrimar, Krugthar, Zugka, Trug-Doru

[CaptainPenguin]

Clowns:
Xenohomo Chromodermis Dotaxi
Home Planet: Dotax Ten in the Dotax System

These beings are a race of mute, brightly colored beings dubbed "Clowns" in the absence of a name that they call themselves. They average about 4 feet tall and have porportions much like halflings, with long arms and large hands and feet. Their faces are absolutely featureless except for large, glowing eyes. They are (apparently) only as intelligent as a smart dog or monkey and thus are kept as pets and house-servants for the rich. A well-conditioned (A Class) slave Clown goes for around 800 zenny in most systems.

[CaptainPenguin]

Batheads (Largolls):
Homo Sapiens Myotis
Home Planet: First engineered on III Vesperian Shaowei of the Vesperian Shaowei system

Spliced from the DNA of bats and other nocturnal creatures, Batheads, who call themselves Largolls, were intended as house-slaves, mechanics and technicians, as well as a limited capability as spies. They are a small race, being only 1 meter tall and weighing about 50 kilograms. They have great minds for the mechanical works and technology, and know almost from birth how to use any tool. The Masters spliced Batheads for rapid growth and breeding so that they would never have a lack of technicians and mechanics, however, their lifespans average only 10-15 years. The Largolls/Batheads have developed a distinct culture because of the relative isolation of their race in the III and IV Vesperian Shaowei planets after the fall of the Humans.

Some Largoll Customs:
-The Little-Death: Batheads undertake this custom on the night before their birthday. They go alone into the wilderness and do something ridiculously dangerous and exciting, such as drinking a thimble of death sap, leaping into a jaculi nest, or swimming in a pool of helium II.
-Happy Gears: Once a year, Batheads on or from IV Vesperian perform this festival, a celebration of technology, especially gears.

Naming Conventions: Of III Vesperian: Nature phrases and things that describe the Largoll, such as Dusk, Sunrise, Cool Water, Thick Skull, Screams Loud, or Vine.
Of IV Vesperian: Much the same, though longer and more "mystic" sounding, such as Eyes-Are-Bright, Big-Long-Fingers, Invisible-Wind, Storm-Over-Valleys, Leaves-Flying, or He-Sleeps-in-Tree-Shade.

[CaptainPenguin]

Mardaru:
Xenoannelida Rikardoni
Home Planet: Destroyed by asteroid storm one-thousand years ago.

Mardaru exist only in space now, as their home-planet was destroyed by an asteroid storm a thousand years ago. They travel the galaxy in large "homeships", each of which has their own cultural variations. They are tube-like beings about 9 feet long with a lamprey-like mouth at the end. Bioluminescent spots line their bodies, and tiny tentacular feet cover the bottom. They are blind, but possess an extremely powerful tactile sense. They also possess powerful psionic abilities. Mardaru are known for a cold, scientific outlook on the world, and seem to have no sense of compassion or love. They are also ravenously curious, devouring every scrap of information that comes their way, which gives them an attraction to the job fields of spying, computer hacking, and science. Mardaru customs vary from homeship to homeship.

Mardaru Naming Conventions: Mardaru do not separate names between male and female names.
Nzangu, Gaganu, Katatu, Zarbladu, Wydaru, Varutu, Bilatu, Gzatgu

[CaptainPenguin]

T'kwssh (Squidies)
Xenooctopus lambadganaszii
Home Planet: S'sshwkt (Conventionally known as Big Blue) of the Lambadganasz system.

The T'kwssh, known conventionally as the Squidies, are an analytical race, generally believed to be emotionless because of their extremely alien outlook on the world. The nickname Squidie is somewhat of a misnomer because the race is more octopoid than squidlike. The T'kwssh have a central torso, a tall body possessing the majority of the creature's bones, including a central spinal stalk and a ribcage with six bones. A head, with a viciously fanged mouth surrounded by four tentacles, and with a set of black, glittering eyes, sits a the top of the spinal stalk. Below the head, four long tentacles that function as arms protrude from the torso. At the bottom, eight other, slightly shorter tentacles function as feet. All of the tentacles are smooth and without suckers, having instead a gluey substance excreted at will by T'kwssh. Most T'kwssh have reddish or orangish leathery skin, though some blues and purples are seen. Black, green, and yellow are rare, white, unheard of. Around 5% of all T'kwssh manifest an ability to change the chameleon power to change their skin coloration. The T'kwssh are a cold, stoic people who's culture affords them a  sort of scientist's conscience. Some would debate that they are emotionless and, therefore, have no conscience. The T'kwssh disagree. Many of the galaxy's most ingenious inventions come from the T'kwssh labs on their planet of S'sshwkt, such inventions as LUMfield generators (Allowing near instant intergalactic communications), the artificial element droylayum, and the Artificial Gravity Pulse Mechanism (A generator for artificial gravity that has replaced rotating gravity chambers). However,the side-effect of this scientist's conscience are evident in that the T'kwssh perform bloody vivisections and unleash highly mutative chemicals and perform cruel experiments on cute, fuzzy animals without any sort of emotional response, prompting others to label them emotionless, cruel, evil, and malevolent. The T'kwssh consider themselves far too intelligent to worship any "obviously imaginary" deities. However, inexplicably, they espouse a Buddhist-like belief in reincarnation and an enlightened individual, who they call the Kssh'kwsht-Sssshkt.
Some T'kwssh customs:

-The Day of Meditation: Twice each year, a T'kwssh must retreat into it's home to meditate on the illusion of reality and the ultimate enlightenment of the Kssh'kwsht-Sssshkt.
-Shedding: Each month, a T'kwssh must shed it's skin.

T'kwssh Naming Conventions: Ssshk'wt, Sskwtsh'ssh, Kkt'ssht, T'wksh-sssssh, Ssssssh, Kkktsh'tksshkt, Ttsssh, Kwtssh'sh'sh, Ktsh-wwksh, Sshktsshk'ssshtwk-Tkwssh, and so on.

[CaptainPenguin]

Mospid
Xenoreptoavius mospida
Home Planet: Realm IV of the Realm system.

In taverns across the galaxy, the same debate plays itself out over mugs of rotgut and bottles of Nuka-Cola: Are mospids scaly birds? Or feathery lizards? In actuality, mospids are reptoavians, much like the ancient Earth species called archaeopteryx. They are cat-sized, with lizardlike bodies, having scales of various shades of green and yellow, and having a crest of colorful feathers down their spines to the tip of their forked tails. The crest becomes a mane of feathers just behind the mospid's eyes. Mospids have sharp beaks and small, needle-like teeth. Mospids, being the colorful animals that they are, are popular as pets among the rich, and popular as fighting beasts among the poor. In fact, specially trained "war mospids" often fetch prices of up to 200 zenny on the market, and the best war mospid ever, the beloved Son of Gutripper, was estimated at 600 zenny. Mospids often spend hours preening their plumage and scales, and it is not uncommon for a Mospid to attack others of it's kind who have larger plumage, recognized by scientists as one of the only examples of jealousy in animals in the Galaxy.

[CaptainPenguin]

Dogheads (Savage):
Homo Sapiens Canidae Barbarica
Planet of Origin: See Dogheads

For all that much of the Galaxy has recovered some semblance of Human-like technology, there are some planets in which the wave of the future has not occured. It is on these planets that we find savage Dogheads. Savage Dogheads are the descendants of Doghead populations left behind by the Creators when they disappeared. In most respects, savage Dogheads are identical to normal Dogheads, but they are considerably less intelligent. In addition, savage Doghead populations have, for various reasons, not recieved the benefits of technology, and still live in a way similar to the Time of Barbarism. Many savage Dogheads worship ancient Human machines. In fact, a tribe in the jungles of Dundred IX had an ancient marketing symbol for their deity, a pair of golden arches, and a tribe on the desert planet Tchwan was discovered to have been worshipping an inactive supernuclear weapon.

Naming Conventions: By tribe. Often simple and monosyllabic, such as Gug, Rud, Zob, Chok, Pab, Lad, Ting, Zak, or Urg.

[CaptainPenguin]

Vargos (Wolfheads):
Homo Sapiens Lupus
Planet of Origin: Unknown; Speculated to be Windus of the Burcemia system.

The Vargos are almost universally hated and feared throughout the galaxy. They are believed to be offshoots of the Dogheads, or maybe a similar experiment by the Creators. Vargos appear much like like Dogheads, however, they possess shaggier coats of fur (Which tends to be silvery or gray) and wolf-like heads as opposed to Dogheads. Vargos also have a redundant pair of almost every single organ and over 20% more fast-twitch muscle fiber than Dogheads. The redundant organs are believed to be a result of the Vargos' own genetic tampering with their bodies.
Vargos are space-pirates who, it seems, exist entirely on starships, much like the Mardaru. Evidence has been discovered that suggests that there may be a hidden Vargo "homeworld", however, if such a planet exists, it has never been seen or mentioned by any Vargo.
Vargo power-suits and weaponry rival those of the famous STARForce and their starships are among the most dangerous and fastest in the galaxy. They are a force to be reckoned with.
Vargos are vicious and cruel, and almost uniformly sadistic. Brain examinations have proved that the sections in their brain which function for conscience do not function. Ever.
In recent years, more and more Vargo raids have been launched on Realms within the galaxy. Especially devastating have been the raids on the outer rim worlds, which have been savaged by the infamous Vargo captain, Harlimanco.
Not enough information has been gathered about the Vargos to comment on their customs. They are a secretive enemy, and when they attack, they strike fast and hard, take their plunder, and Gate out quickly.

Naming Conventions:
Males: Harlimanco, Alcominon, Pherezo, Kalberzon, Hannalanc, Otholo, Barlic, Zanomos
Female: Alvia, Mero, Pheramna, Tolais, Yalango, Peryton, Ellma, Meringa, Thothi, Uairla, Kiskidecko