In Ye Alehouse of Ye Rudde Draggon

[Wulfhere]

In a fit of masochism, I was considering writing an adventure to mock all the old clichés.  What else needs to be added:

The Plot:

There you were, sitting with a bunch of guys that you just met in the Red Dragon Inn, when a mysterious stranger comes in and hires you stop an insane necromancer that plans to take over the kingdom.  He explains that you need to stop him from sacrificing a princess to the lord of the dead and summoning an army of undead.  Unfortunately, he was then slain by a scimitar-wielding drow assassin in a lack cloak.  After you kill the assassin, you set out on your quest.  While traveling through the forest to your destination, you are attacked by bandits, who have a map to the secret entrance of the necromancer’s cavern stronghold.  Once there, you find your way blocked by a giant chessboard trap.  You bypass the trap just in time to stop the necromancer from sacrificing his victim.

Clichés I didn’t find room for (yet):
Barkeep is a stocky man with a handlebar mustache polishing the glasses and a crossbow behind the bar.
A brawl breaks out with Bob and Joe, the barbarians in the inn.
The town is destroyed by undead.
 

[Murometz]

 

Throw in a grumpy dwarf, an aloof elf, and a +5 Holy Avenger (which the Necromancer just HAS to have in his hoard, for no rhyme or reason) and your all set!

Hmmmm...I can tell you want to join our Old-School RP, Wulf...I know you do!

Screw work and responsibilities! Play with us!

[Ancient Gamer]

Murometz is on a recruitment drive!

Well, have the Holy Avenger + 5 in the necromancer's hoard be stolen by an annoying little Hobbit, errr I mean Halfling that for years has served as the necromancer's mistreated aide. Now the poor thing has a lisp and is obsessed by the blade to such a degree that it now calls it his most preciouss blade. The Adventurers has to stalk it through the countryside before they finally corner him in his trap infested subterrenean lair that was commissioned by the Thief Guild. (The Halfling is the long lost favourite of the Guild Leader who will want revenge if they manage to slay the Halfling).

Cliche complete

[Dozus]

Don't forget the barbarian from the icy climes of the North (indeed, all barbarians are from the icy climes of the North).  He is large, muscular, Aryan, and shirtless.  His motives aren't exactly clear (it's hard to understand him with that thick accent), but it seems he's content to just kill things with his massive sword.

[Pariah]

And that Holy Avenger better be at least 3x the size of the hobbit or it wouldn't look cool.